Waking up, after the Shift (semi-open)

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

(Since this is a continuation of A quiet bit of meditation I went with his request. )

In her unconscious state, De'Ryanna dreamed, but it was not a dream that she could control. It came in fits and starts, causing her body to jerk and break out into a cold sweat.

In her dream she was a little girl of five, playing in the woods that surrounded her mothers house high atop a mountain. It was newly turned spring, and on the mountain there were still small patches of snow to be found - especially in the shadowed areas. The sun was setting in the distance.

Her mother had warned her about going into the woods alone when the sun went down and always kept a watchful eye on her and her brother. However this night, for some reason, De'Ryanna had been able to get away and she crept into the woods. Already knowing how to channel into the Source she walked with a ball of fire held in her hands. To her this trick was as easy as breathing and almost done without thought. But she was a child, and that made her careless and she failed to notice the creature that watched her from within the shadows of the wood.

Walking upon week old snow she walked carefully so as not to trip, her feet hardly broke the solidity of the surface. In the whisper of a passing wind she thought she heard someone call her name and she stopped to look around. There was no one there. The fire in her hand flickered before regaining its force, a feeling of fear came over her and she started back home. Once again her name was called and, once more, she looked around and saw no one there. De'Ryanna picked up the pace and her child-size feet slipped on the snow and she fell on her face. The flame went out.

Working to regain her feet the wind passed over her once more and this time it carried with it the sound of a snarl. On her knees she brought up her hand, the fireball appearing in an instant, bigger and brighter. The light revealed what had been carried in the wind. and she found herself face-to-face with an angry wolf. . .

De'Ryanna snapped out of her dream with a scream and snatched up the covers, holding them close. Breathing heavy, eyes wide, where was she?

[Gawain]

Gawain was seated beside Ryanna's bed, watching her sleep. She seemed restless, and when she cried out softly, he placed his hand on her forehead. Very quietly, he spoke. "I have a lot to explain, and even more to make up to you, my daughter."

She awoke with a start, as well as a scream, which caused Gawain to snatch his hand back as if burned. After a few moments, he spoke. "De'Ryanna....I feel I owe you an apology. The only way to draw out your latent ability was to do so forcefully, and I should have warned you. Please forgive me." He rose, and dropped to a knee. "I am sorry, my daughter."

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

After she woke up she was shaken, the covers around her were clutched tightly to her chest. Eyes were wide, fear reflecting in them and her breathing fast, any faster and she would be at the point of hyperventilation.

This time though she heard the voice of her father, though it was slightly muddled she understood what he was saying. She put a hand up to her head, the other one still held the cover tightly to her, if she was wearing anything she it probably wasn't much, but she held on to the covers more so out of fear than anything else. Forcefully? That had to be why she had a pain in her head.

De'Ryanna's breathing started to slow down, she wasn't breathing as fast anymore, but it was still ragged. "Forgive you?" She was trying to remember; and found that she could hardly remember anything after she had entered the garden. "What.. did you do?" Her voice was very soft as she spoke. She shifted her legs under the covers and discovered that they hurt and she flinched.

"What happened?"

[Gawain]

He sighed, rose, an sat on the side of her bed, taking one of her hands in both of his. "You changed, darling. You were..Light, you were magnificent! You exhibited more power on your first change than I thought was possible without at least a few week's training. Now....I have to admit, I had to nudge you out of it, because you went feral for a bit." He chuckled, rubbing the wrapped portion of his leg. "Good thing we heal quickly, you were doing your best to take my leg off."

His grip tightened on her hand, not enough to harm, but enough to convey his earnestness. "I didn't mean to give you such an abrupt crash-course.......and your dream, Ryanna...no, I shouldn't have seen it, we were still linked, and I saw your nightmare, and....and I'm rambling. Sorry."

After clearing his throat, he resumed. "You had your first successful shift, Ryanna, and I could not be prouder. I have always, since the first moment I laid eyes on you when you were born, found you to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I still do, and your Lycan form......unparalleled. I have never seen it's like before. You will be one of the first true Alpha Females, my dear. After you feel better, I'll teach you more. But for now, I must ask you a question: the wolf in your dream. Who was he? I was there, we were still linked, and....I could smell him. Familiar. Could it have been....? No, rest is what you need, not conjecture. Here, lie back an let me Heal you. At the very least, it'll take the soreness from you."

He smiled, winked, and kissed her forehead as he began. "You did so well, darlin'."

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

Shifted? That she had actually done that gave her mixed feelings. On one hand she was delighted, and on the other, she was horrified, mostly because she couldn't remember anything she had done while in the shift. He said it had been sucessful but violent? She looked at his leg and was suddenly thankful that she didn't remember, but she couldn't help but wonder what it was like. Why couldn't she remember.

Keeping a hold on his hand her grip may have been tighter. "I am glad you're okay. I didn't mean to hurt you." If she had remembered. Thinking hard, one thing she did remember was anger.

Then there was the question. He had seen the dream. De'Ryanna lowered her head and chewed on her bottom lip. He asked her to lie back and so she did, thinking over if she should tell him.

If he didn't pull his hand away , she kept hold of it and closed her eyes. "He scares me Father. Benjamin." perhaps that answered his question with what she said. "When I was younger I didn't know who he was. Not until I was older and I saw him again." She took a deep breath.

"He's always there." The words came out as a whisper.

[Gawain]

"Not for much longer. No one threatens my family, nor do they stalk my daughter. You are safe, daughter. I am here. Besides, open your mind and see what you are capable of on your own....." Quite against his character, he opened the mental gates of his mind, and allowed her access to his memories of their....altercation.

After she had seen herself in action, he would simply smile and say one more thing. "You see? Alone, you're a match for him, but sweety, you will never have to stand alone again. This I swear by the Light and my hope of salvation and rebirth." He knew she would know how serious a vow that was.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

Watching what he allowed her to see was like watching one of those movies he had shown her and Armandeus, the only difference was that she was one of the actors. It was a reaction to flinch at initial contact, it was a reaction. That is when she realized something else he had said, that she could be an alpha female.

That phrase made her feel powerful, and she repeated it in her head a few more times, even found herself smiling despite of it. Did he really think that she was a match for another wolf? "He's never touched me." It was true. Even when they came in close contact here he had never touched her. To restate, he has never physically touched her. "Physically." Was that any better? Probably not.

"I'm sorry for my anger Father. I.. I didn't know that would happen. I've worked hard at my focus, my mental blockages" a hint of pride growing in her voice. "If only you could see my weaves.." She brushed her hair back while she lay there on the bed. "I can even enter Tel' aran'rhiod without having to be asleep, but I don't do it often at all anymore. I've only recently started again by trying to help Armandeus. " She paused and swallowed hard. "In my dreams he finds me.."

[Gawain]

He sighed deeply, and shook his head. "The World of Dreams can be dangerous....of course, you already know that. How does he find you, dear? Perhaps we should go together? Maybe then he would get the hint that I will not tolerate him messing with my daughter."

He sat stock-still for a moment, and smiled. "I know I've said it before, but I am very proud of you. The anger you displayed, I fear, was the sum total of the anger you have repressed for the tenure of your training in the Tower. Don't worry about it, dear, it gets easier. When you're feeling better, we'll give it another go. It's like Channelling.....once you do it, you remember. Even of your mind doesn't, your body will." He smoothed her hair, and planted a kiss on her brow. "Have I told you just how much I love you, kiddo?"

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

Listening to him De'Ryanna loosened her hold on the covers, having calmed down enough to realize that she was dressed decently enough not to be too covered. Then she displayed a bit of emotion that she had only previously shown to one other person. She reached out and put her arm around Gawain. After he kissed her she laid her head upon his shoulders.

In her childhood she rarely had an opportunity to do anything like this, especially with him. "I don't want to be angry Father. What if I can't control my anger and I become wild again?" Her voice lowered to that of a whisper as she drew her knees to her chest. "What if I kill someone?"

She didn't want to kill anyone. As for the question of how he found her, she didn't address it because she didn't have an answer.

[Gawain]

It amazed Gawain how natural it felt, even though it had been years, to hold his daughter. "Shh....you don't have to kill anyone, and the anger....well, it passes with time. You're at a critical juncture now. You must allow yourself to feel, otherwise, things get pent-up. Haven't you ever heard of a caged beast?" He smiled, nudging her a bit. "You already learned to control the Source, so you have the fight half-won. And anyway, what's wrong with being a little wild once in awhile?"

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

That is what she felt like on the inside: a caged beast. Now that she knew what she had done when she had shifted she could only think of that form as being a beast. De'Ryanna always knew that she had a temper and if her temper had claws and fangs she could see nothing good about it at all.

He had said that she had to allow herself to feel and that was a hard one for her. "I don't know how easy that will be. To allow feeling is to allow myself to be vulnerable Father. When I am vulnerable many of my wards are down and I am unprotected." Though she had to admit that sometimes, in private, some walls came down.

She took in a deep breath. "And I don't know what will happen if I start to explore my feelings. " Talking to him in this manner was a big step, but she should be able to feel safe around him.

[Gawain]

Gawain smiled and patted her hand. "You know that whatever you choose, however you choose to do it, I'm here for you. I can help you, because I've been there. When Nanny found me all those years ago, I was little more than a beast with a human skin on. She...well, Nanny pretty much kicked my bum and taught me to be me. Sure, there are a few folks that don't like who I am, but ya know, I don't want to be anything else. The job have now is the one I always wanted without realizing it. Father, husband, and occasional arse-stomper." He grinned at that last part. "Yes, I've agreed to tone that down, but surely you won't deny me all fun?"

She spoke of her wards....concern flickered across his features. "Then tell me the wards, and I'll replace them for you. We have to get you over this bump in the road before you can fully harness your birthright. Just...tell me what you ward yourself against, and by my life, you won't have to worry about it."

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

"I am a really good student father. You would have been proud of me at the tower...and in the court of my foster." There was pride in her voice. De'Ryanna had always been a quick study. "I've always been determined to make something of myself, to achieve and to be powerful. Even more powerful than my mother."

She started thinking about her own plans and desires for achievement. Taking a moment to bite down on her lip. "I won't take your fun away. Though I'd like for you to meet Armandeus for he is..special to me. Aside from you, he's the first person I've started to actually open up to. I don't feel angry around him. I'll admit that I ... do have angry towards you, but I know it's not your fault. "

Taking a deep breath.. "I will work hard on the training you give me. I'm a big girl.I can take it." That was her hope.

[Gawain]

He smiled, kissed her cheek, and leaned back. "I know, honey. You are a quick study, or else nothing would have come from the exercise earlier. And I understand your anger, as well as I know I deserve it. We'll work on that, and on getting to know each other better. As for Armandeus...yes, I would like to get to know this young man. From what I've seen so far, he is a nice guy, and I'm sure that, since you have feelings for him, he's good people. But for now, you should rest. Unless, of course, you're feeling up to a little more training?" He raised an eyebrow, and smiled. "Not to worry, there's no physical activity. It's more mental training than anything else. You mentioned that you had the Gift for Dreamwalking...you wouldn't be up for a jaunt into the Dreamworld, would you? Something tells me that there are answers there to be uncovered."

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

De'Ryanna was a stubborn girl, as well as a determined one. Pushing up, with her hands behind her on the bed she sat up and raised her chin. Weakness, with some things, she could not afford. There might be times that called for her to always be ready and perhaps this would be good training for it.

Clearing her throat she used both hands to push back her hair and drew in a breath. A thought crossed her mind. "Father. Mother would say that, as a family, we were bonded together. Literally." He should know what she meant, careful in her words, the hesitation was there. "Do you have intentions on reconnecting?"

With that out the way she said, "Where would you like to go?" In the World of Dreams.

[Gawain]

Gawain grinned, scooting back to allow for her to sit up. "Yes, De'Ryanna, I have every intention of doing so. Would you like to do so now? I'm ready anytime, I was just hoping you would suggest it. I'm looking forward to reconnecting with your mother and brother as well....it's lonely without them in here." He tapped his temple and sighed at that, looking a bit forlorn for a moment.

He brightened a bit when she mentioned that trip, and even made an attempt at a smile. "Well, when I had my ter'angreal, it was always easier, for some reason, to start in Caemlyn. Don't ask me why, I have no idea why unless it's because the Dragon had me in and out of there so much in the last few months before the kids were born. At any rate, I learned two things there: Daes Daemar is not my cup of tea, and I don't make a very convincing woman. Long story, and one I won't tell twice." He smirked, winked, and chuckled. "That's why you'll have to listen closely so that you can tell your mother when she gets here. At any rate, you may have to help me, because I lost my ter'angreal, and I don't have much control there without it." He was ready and willing to do anything for her, and he was hoping she had that understanding by now.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

In his own words, he said that he was looking forward to reconnecting. That fact caused her to lower her head and bite down on her bottom lip. "We could discuss it afterward. Okay? I have not willingly had a man inside of my head." It seemed a bit odd to her since he would be able to tell her feelings and even know what she was doing. She knew the procedure, it was scary because it was something she had never done before.

"If you would link with me...." having said that quietly. Both users of the Source were able to link together now, it had been proven. Again, she had never linked with a man, but knew it was possible. It took her the space of a breath to grab on to the Source, and another to initiate the Weaves for a link.

De'Ryanna held her hand out to him. "If it's easier for you, you can close your eyes and attempt to sleep. Think of me as that ter'angreal you would use."

Caemlyn in Tel'aran'rhiod would look the same as it did in the waking world, only the hustle and bustle of the crowds was absent as well as the din. It was comparable to a vacate stage-set. Once he was ready, she would take him.

There are three distinct parts to Caemlyn; the Inner City, the New City and Low Caemlyn. The Inner City lies on the highest hills of the city and is surrounded by a wall of gleaming white stone streaked with silver. The main gate to the Inner City is the Origan Gate. Many of the buildings here are Ogier-built, including the Royal Palace, and are surrounded by many beautiful thin white towers capped by golden domes. The roads in the Inner City follow the curves of the hills and all lead to the Royal Palace. Dotted among the buildings in this part of the city are beautiful parks with monuments. The Inner City is designed to look good from any angle, especially when seen from above.

The New City encircles the Inner City and is bordered by a fifty feet high, gray stone wall, which has many white towers along its length. Gates into the New City are flanked by even taller white towers. It was built long after the Inner City, it is less than two thousand years old, and has no Ogier stonework as the Ogier had returned to their stedding when it was built. Most of the buildings have red-tiled roofs. Wide boulevards thread through the New City towards the Inner City and are divided in to two by a row of trees and grass.

Low Caemlyn lies outside of the city's walls; the buildings here are made of gray stone, red brick and have white-plastered walls and are, more often that not, three or four stories tall. This part is a sprawling mass of houses, inns and warehouses.

The central square in Caemlyn is where the majority of social activity can be found. People frequently gather there to chat or to find hunting partners, although the skywalk over the Inner City is the usual place for larger groups to gather. (Giving credit to tar valon for that info )

They arrived on the road that lead to the White Tower, down in the midst of Low Caemlyn . . .

[Gawain]

Gawain sighed, breathing in the air of Caemlyn, and gazing up at the marvel of the White Tower. Like it or not, it always took his breath away. He looked over to Ryanna and held out a hand. "Well, where would you like to go first, dear?" He hadn't been in the World of Dreams in years, so his clothing kept shifting from one set to the other, finally settling on the black Asha'man garb, complete with Sword and Dragon pins. He had earned them, after all, why not wear them? "Uh, I'm having trouble here. This is the only thing I can keep focused on, I'm afraid. Too much?" He dropped a bow, and smiled widely. "So.....what now?"

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

He held out his hand and, after his bow, she reached out to take it. De'Ryanna was dressed in a white blouse and long, full grey skirt a matching shawl around her shoulders. Hair pulled up in a bun atop her head and the golden great Serpent ring upon her finger. A Grey Sister. What a pair they made. If this was before the two sides fought together, them being like this might have created a problem.

"Just relax. I can't be much different than those wolf dreams." She sounded confident, not cautious and slightly confused as she had back in the room. "You can draw you strength from me."

She started towards the internal part of the city. "Let us go to the market place. Has it been long since you were last here? In Caemlyn?"

[Gawain]

He chuckled at her comment, then shook his head. "Last time I was in Caemlyn, I was spying on a certain Lady who was about to give birth to twins. As I recall, a rather rough woman came out and, after firing several arrows at me, kicked me. Yes, there. When I returned to my point of origin, Cadsuane slapped me so hard that my jaw almost unhinged. That woman's got a NASTY right hook."

She spoke of the Wolf dream...maybe someone had already told her? "Most of our kind share an affinity to the Dreamworld, due to the fact that wolves go there, in spirit, when their physical bodies die. It's just been a long time, dear, I think I'm getting the hang of it." He spoke the words, even tried to mean them, but his thoughts drifted to Airtia. For some reason, she was on his mind more and more every day, and this trip had brought it to a head. His garb changed once more from the black Asha'man attire to the suit he had worn to his wedding. He was unaware of this, however, and he turned his attention back to Ryanna. "Yes, the marketplace sounds like a good idea. On the way, maybe you can tell me what usually draws this...bad person...out in your Dreams."

He steeled himself for whatever lay ahead, not telling her anything about what he had planned, nor the reason why he pushed for this trip at the time he did.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

"Don't be so surprised Father," she thought she heard doubt in his voice as they walked and when she looked at him, saw that his clothing had changed once again. Why.. was he dressed up? It caused her to falter in her step as she looked at him. He didn't look bad. "Do you really think that the Tower wouldn't know?" They didn't know a lot about it, but knew that the ability existed. Aside from that, there was her brother.

De'Ryanna stayed mute for a bit, only walking towards the market place, though her stance seemed more guarded. What drew the person out? Just as they entered into the marketplace she paused again and drew in a deep breath. Not many things, living, were in the World of Dreams. Sometimes things found themselves there by accident winking in and out again in a matter of minutes. There were dangers in the world, other dream-walkers that sought to cause harm, or getting pulled into a persons dream and loosing control.

Lowering her voice she made a show at looking at an empty wheelbarrow that was off to the side. "He's been watching since we got here." A tip of her head over her right shoulder. If he looked behind them, off to the side, standing in the shadows on top of the outer wall, was a figure.

[Gawain]

Gawain frowned, now aware of his clothing. "I'm better than this, Ryanna." In a wink, he was back in his Asha'man attire, the sword at his hip bearing the mark of the Heron. He glanced down, and shrugged with a lop-sided grin. "Hey, I earned it. When the Towers started working together, we were 'asked' to train with the Warders. Two guesses who picked me to be their sparring partner/victim."

Aware of her words, finally, he shrugged his shoulders, cracked his neck, and grew dark. After a moment, he simply grew. With a growl that began as human and ended as something more bestial than he had ever uttered, he spun on his booted heel and snarled. "Come out, if you dare. I would say that I don't bite, but well, I despise liars. You want my daughter, you sack of cow fodder, come and claim her. If you're able. There are two ways, easy and hard. PLEASE choose hard. Don't make me beg."

The change had happened in an instant, and he was truly the stuff of nightmares. His fur was shaggy and grey, with a white streak down his muzzle which continued down his back, ending at his now-prehensile tail. In anyone remotely human, a sense of primordial dread would creep into their subconscious and cause them to recoil. Darkness seemed to roil about him, as if it were dripping from him like the black blood of a daemon.

"Come and face me, if you dare." His nose twitched as he tested the air, searching for a scent from sheer habit. He was ready, very willing, and most definitely able. Whom, or whatever was stalking had picked the wrong quarry. The old saying of "Don't hunt what you cannot kill" just didn't do justice to the situation. This was the side of Gawain that he sought to keep hidden. If the wrong person saw this form...well, let us content ourselves with 'The Salem witch trials would look like a naming-day party' and leave it at that.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

De'Ryanna was human - despite her heritage - and therefore Gawain's transformation put her in shock. She didn't know much about her father, but she knew that he was going to do something. When he turned from her to face the figure on the wall, she had turned as well and promptly recoiled away from him when she saw the transformation. Moving quickly back behind the cart and taking a fierce hold of the Source. Her eyes were wide as she looked at him and she felt a slight tinge of panic. Though her state of mind had changed from calm to edgy, her attire remained the same. But the world around them did, what can only be described as a twitch before it settled back.

Was that really him? It couldn't be. He looked like he could have been one of the Shadow spawn. Maybe he wasn't her father at all but was only pretending to be? Perhaps... maybe he was just like the one who watched her in her dreams.

(the following dialogue is used with permission)
A clap was heard coming from atop the wall and the figure moved within the shadows, his features masked though surely not the scent. It was one that Gawain had smelled before, and recently. Though the figure was on the wall his words sounded as if he were standing on the ground with them. "You are doing an excellent job. I applaud you. It will only be that much easier for me to complete my task. Look. You've frightened her."

Laughter echoed through the desolate city. "She's been mine since she was five. You should be thankful I like her or I would have used that. "

A device, made from crystal and wire, appeared on the ground before Gawain. It was a Cour'souvra.

[Gawain]

Gawain growled softly, then, with a shrug, abandoned his form. He was back in his normal garb, full Asha'man gear. A glance at the Cour'souvra brought bile into his throat, then a seething anger. A Soul Cage....he had thought that they were all destroyed, and the ability to make them along with them. "You. Will. Release. Her." With a speed that would have made the space/time continuum blush and shuffle its feet, he was at the spot from which he heard the voice. True, voices carry, but Gawain, well.....Gawain had a knack.

As he stood face-to-face with the owner of the aforementioned voice, he growled once more, a low, menacing growl. "Release her at once, fool. You have precious little time, and I would prefer to make it out of this Light-forsaken place with you breathing. You know, so that I will have the pleasure of beating you within an inch of your misbegotten life, Healing you, then doing it again. Your move, whelp." Gawain seized the Source, his feet already set, his body ready for the possibility of things getting physical. As he prepared his body, his mind was also furiously at work preparing Wards, Shields, and one more weave, one for which he had had his ears boxed twice, and had been threatened with Gentling for simply knowing. If the one before him didn't know what he was facing, he soon would.

In a low, almost hushed voice, he spoke. "I am the stuff of nightmares. I am the darkness which frightens humans and causes them to relight their candles. I am the beast which should never have been loosed upon the world of mortals. Light help me, I am become Death himself. Pray to whatever pagan gods you claim, that I should pass from this world before I rain my wrath down upon you. Fear. If you have none, I have some for you right here."

[Your move. Volley and serve, and all that.]

[B.D. Adams]

(thanks for the toss)

Standing face to face, the pair of them squared off atop the wall. Who was the hero, and who was the villain, all depended on where you stood. Continuing to stand there in the shadows a smile to his lips, arms crossed at the waist and footing sure. Some might even say he had a look of pride on his face as he watched and listened. De'Ryanna's father. He couldn't ask for a better challenge. He may not be young and spry, but he had experience and that was better.

"You've found me. What a pity." Sarcasm coated those words. At that time the shadows that helped to mask him drew back, or perhaps daylight was approaching and the shadows were receding. Either was possible in this realm. It was Benjamin and his eyes possessed a dark fire. "I'd tell you the truth, but you don't want to hear it. I could beat it into you?" He uncrossed his arms and flexed his fingers, the knuckles cracking under the pressure he applied. "Your daughter is important to me, I am not that barbaric. The cour'souvra process is not complete. She will come to me on her own."

The two wolves - for that's what they were, even though they wore the guise of man - were not too far from each other. For Benjamin's part he inched closer, never breaking eye contact. Gawain spoke of fear. It wasn't a primordial fear, but the type which came over a person when playing a childhood game of chase. Fear that pumped adrenaline. "Do you want to strike at me for being in your daughters head? For being connected to her? Does the thought of me pulling her into my embrace and opening her eyes to how powerful she is make you seethe? So young. So innocent. So willing to learn."

"She and I are connected. Strike at me if you dare." Words accented with his own roll of a growl. The fire in his eyes intensified. "How is the condition your soul?"

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