Seeking Help [Closed]

[Armandeus]

Armandeus had always been a restless sleeper, but tonight it was worse than usual. He had tossed and turned, his blankets tangling around him. His head ached, a deep point of pressure that sat behind his eyes. The pain had been building all day, but now it had come to a point where it could not easily be ignored.

This pain was merely a warning, nothing compared to what was about to come. It would only be a matter of time now before a new wave of visions would come to drown him in nauseous pain. He didn't have much time.

It seemed to take forever to get out of bed, and even longer to leave his room, but eventually he made it out to the hall. Dressed in only his sleeping clothes of white tunic and leggings, he shivered at the cooler air in the hall as he moved down it.

De'Ryanna's room was not far, though for the pounding in his head, it could have been miles away. One hand was held to the spot that hurt the most as he moved. She had said they could continue the lessons at one of their rooms. If there was ever a time for them, it was now. It didn't occur to him until he was knocking on her door that she might not even be awake at this hour.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

Late night was reserved for peace and quiet, a time to unwind after a long day. But tonight, though the hour was getting late, she was awake. Working on matters of this and that, De'Ryanna was busy.

Sitting at her desk she had been penning a letter to her mother when she was alerted that someone was approaching her door. Up from her seat she headed to the door dressed in a thin white cotton shift. It bore no decorations, and didn't need any. Her brown hair was back in a single braid.

Armandeus had only gotten one knock in before she opened the door. Just to look at him she could see that he was not feeling his best. "Come in and sit on the bed." An absent of greetings, but there would be time for that later. Her room was not overly large, and the bed could be seen from the doorway. Perfectly made up in white and silver.

[Armandeus]

'That wasn't her usual dress,' was the first thing that came to Armandeus' pain filled mind. 'I shoudn't have came' was the next. The pounding in his head felt worse by the second, but even he noticed that she was dressed for bed. It had taken effort to get this far though, effort that he just didn't have to go back, at least right away. He couldn't think on it long, he just didn't have the concentration needed. His mind was a mess; a jumble of wayward thoughts that were no match for the pain he was in. For the moment there wasn't much a choice, and she had invited him in.

He didn't move his hand away from his head as he moved slowly through the door and into her room. She had said to sit on the bed, but it looked so perfect the way it was. Even in his scattered state of mind he couldn't mess it up, instead slowly sinking to the floor beside it.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

Men. Even when they were not feeling well they always seemed well enough to be stubborn. Only his stubbornness was going to cause her to sit on the floor. She looked over at the bed and put it past her as she moved to the bathroom to fetch a towel.

On her way back she grabbed hold of the Source and placed a Weave around the room, to block anything being heard or felt outside the room, and tied it off. This weave was invisible to anyone who couldn't see Weaves and, to her knowledge, there was only one other person in the Inn who could see what she had done.

Returning to Armandeus she knelt in front of him. "You really should have sat on the bed. Now. Put your hand in your lap. In fact, if you could fold them in your lap." Perhaps this time he would do it. The shift she wore wasn't exactly long, it stopped at the knees, so as she knelt it rode up to nearly the middle of her thigh. She paid it no attention.

"Let me put this on your head and tell me what brings you here." She already knew, but it would be good to get him to start talking of it.

[Armandeus]

Armandeus was not being stubborn, not on purpose at least. It was an Elf thing, and their uncontrollable desire to have everything neat. His head had come to rest lightly against the side of the bed however, implementing it as a giant pillow. If he didn't move, he could feel the pain subside slightly.

His hand had remained pressing against his head until she told him to move it. Even then he was reluctant, his hand moving away slowly to rest in his lap. Half closed eyes looked at her before closing fully as she put the towel on his head. "My head is going to explode.. the visions.. there's no time.." It wasn't any explanation, but at the moment it was all he could get out.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

"Armandeus. Armandeus listen to me." His hand taken from his head she place her own hands on either side of his face. Holding his head still De'Ryanna looked straight into his eyes, even if he had them closed. Those word were straight and all-business.

She wanted to help him through his ordeal. "I know it might be hard, but you have to focus. You have to concentrate." Her tone changed as she relaxed as well, lightening her tone and making it softer. It was dangerous to take any mind that was chaotic into the world of Dreams. She had to get him to calm down first. "Armandeus, look at me. Try to relax your mind. I'm right here with you."

[Armandeus]

Focus. Concentrate. For the chaos that was swirling in Armandeus' mind, that was the equivalent of taming a snowstorm. He heard her, but her voice sounded far away, lost at the end of a tunnel. He had never been able to reign in the pain, in the end it consumed him, spreading through his body like poison. She had seen the end result of that last time, but now she was experiencing the beginning.

It took an effort of will to force his eyes open again. The pain behind them could be seen, pleading for help, even when his voice did not. He looked at her as she requested, but his mind was far from calm.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

It was against the rules to enter into an unwilling mind, and it was dangerous to enter into an angry one. Seeing the reflection in his eyes De'Ryanna could almost see the pain he was going through. The question now, how to get him to relax enough so she could enter and not damage her mind in the process?

She use to hear it said that there were only two ways to get the attention of a man: bash him on the back if the head or take him between your legs. She was not about to hit him in his condition, but she wasn't about to go the other route either. De'Ryanna was an untouched lady. Under different circumstances even thinking about that would have caused her to blush.

Nevertheless, she had to help her friend. What was she to do?

His head was already in her hands. "I can't help if you don't calm down. Just. A little. Bit." That was when she gathered up her courage, moved in, and kissed him. She had never done it before, but how hard could it be? Would it work? She wasn't sure; De'Ryanna only hoped that it would take his mind off the painful visions at least for a moment.

[Armandeus]

It was probably a good thing that the Elf was not standing, for he probably would have fallen over in surprise. As it was his eyes widened in shock, and the pain was momentarily forgotten as his brain tried to catch up with what had happened. He had never been kissed before, and found it left him feeling rather content, if not a bit dizzy.

It was a lot to process, and caused him to temporarily fall back into his native tongue. "Aranethon..." The shock had seemed to have done the trick however; calmness could be seen through the storm brewing behind his eyes.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

He was calm now, more or less, and that's what she wanted. Now all she had to do was maintain her composure, which was surprisingly hard to do now that he was looking at her like that. How odd it was to be in control of yourself one moment and the next to have forgotten what you were doing in the first place.

It's just a kiss Ryan. Pull yourself together. Although, if one kiss calmed him down that much. . . No. No. Focus.

"Thank you." She even felt silly saying that. De'Ryanna cleared her throat and closed her eyes, keeping her hands on the side of his face. "You don't have to be asleep to enter your dreams, but you have to be calm. Just a little." Calmness. Now if she could still the butterflies in her stomach. "Focus on something good. I'm going to connect with you. It won't hurt you.. have to let me in."

If he was sleeping, she could always enter, but he was awake. It was harder that way.

[Armandeus]

She may have gotten him calm, but it would never last. His mind was like the eye of a storm; calm with chaos bordering on the edge. Even now that edge was drawing closer, just waiting for him to fall.

Focus on something good, she had said, but for the life of him, Armandeus couldn't even come up with one thing. His head pounded; the pain building to a fevered point. He closed his eyes with the effort of trying to hold it back, trying to give her enough time to connect with his mind.

It was too late. Armandeus suddenly tensed up like a tightened bow string; his teeth grinding together as his body prepared for what was about to come. The onslaught of the visions hit light a bolt of lightening between his eyes; overwhelming and unbearable pain. It tore a scream from his throat, and for a few tense seconds he was frozen to the pain.

Then as fast as it hit the initial onslaught was over, his body slumping over like a rag doll. He was unconscious; his body exhausted and pushed to its limits. It was safe to say he was not going to wake anytime soon.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

The dangers of connecting to an unwilling, or wild mind, were real and the unskilled person was warned against doing so for a reason. Backlash effects. They could hit hard and without warning. If the person wasn't prepared could be damaged or scared.

De'Ryanna knew what she was getting into, but her guard had been lowered due to the fact that her thoughts had started to wander. One of the first lessons was to never loose focus. Partially connected to him, when the pain struck Armandeus it hit her too. Though not as hard, it was enough to make her recoil her hands from the side of his head.

Eyes shut for a moment, her head was in pain, but she hardly had time to think on it for he was falling over. She would catch him before he hit the floor. Oh how tempting it was to connect with his mind now that he had passed out. It would be so easy - and it would be wrong. What had she seen in that momentary hit of pain? She would analyze it later. Right now she had someone to care for.

With Armandeus leaning against her, De'Ryanna pushed to her knees and hooked her arms under his. Not physically able to lift him, she took hold of the Source and wove threads of Air to help her in getting him off the floor and onto the bed.

Once he was laying down she sat on the edge of the bed. There was so much she could do at the moment while holding on to the Source, things to help him, but she restrained. It was always hard letting go of the power once it was embraced, but she did.

There wasn't room on the bed for both of them, and should would not lay there if there were, it was something to think of later. Right now she needed something for her head, and something to help his head. In the morning she would get something from the bar.

[Armandeus]

Waking after a vision always felt the same: like breaking through the surface of a deep pool of water. The sensation always had the same effects as well; leaving Armandeus feeling sluggish, disoriented, and with a throbbing headache that made his head feel like it was being split in half.

It was the pain, more than anything, that drug the Elf back into consciousness. Where was he? The last thing he remembered was sitting against the bed talking to Ryan.. It was with a pang of guilt that he realized that he was now laying on her bed. How long had he been out? It was impossible to tell, but to him it felt like it had been a week.

He let out a moan as he slowly opened his eyes, only to close them again as the light from the room shined in them. Bringing his hand up to shield his eyes, he tried again, this time managing to keep his eyes open. Ignoring the sharp spike from changing positions, he moved one arm behind him and pushed himself up.

The room was empty. That sent a wave of unease through him; what had happened to De'Ryanna? He didn't think she would have left him alone like this, but something could have happened when he passed out. Maybe she was hurt.. he didn't remember a thing, but it wouldn't have been the first time it happened. Maybe she had went for help; to find Elessar.

Another spike of pain came, forcing him to lay back down. She would be back, she had to come back. His eyes closed as his arm came to rest overtop of them. He hoped that when she did return, she would bring painkillers as well.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

Indeed Armandeus would wake up to an empty room for De'Ryanna was not there. Regretfully there were occasions that called for her to leave his bedside, but she came back. She always came back.

She was on her way back to the room when she was alerted that her charge woke up for he broke the wards she had placed over the bed. This caused her to pick up the pace. When she opened the door she saw that he was laying down still on the bed. De'Ryanna closed the door slowly. "Armandeus?"

Removing her hand from the door she clasped her hands in front of her as she made her way over to the bed, the bottom of her gray skirt brushing against the floor. He was awake, or had been. His position was different. She stood there for a moment before turning away from the bed and heading to her desk in the corner. If he really was awake then he would need something. During the days when he was unconscious she had been feeding him hawthorn tea. Since he was not able to drink it himself De'Ryanna had been feeding it to him by a thread, dipping it in the herbal tea and draping it across his lips. He wouldn't choke that way and the body would naturally swallow.

Perhaps, if he was awake he could drink a cup of it himself.

[Armandeus]

In the quietness of the room Armandeus had managed to doze off again, only to be woken with the sound of the door opening. In no hurry to repeat earlier results, he kept his eyes closed and simply listened.

His name was called, proving him right, De'Ryanna had returned just as he had thought. That comforted him; there was nothing worse than being alone and in pain. She hadn't seemed to notice that he was awake so he continued to just lay quietly, pretending.

At first she had moved to the bed, and then away again. It was after she had moved off towards her desk that he began to show signs of life. He shifted, his head following the sounds she made. He was watching her blindly; his eyes still closed tightly against the brightness of the room. "Ryan?" His voice was hoarse, his throat dry. Right now a cup of tea would be the best thing in the world.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

So. He was awake. De'Ryanna was not shocked when she heard her name called - he being the only person who could call her Ryan and have her respond - because she already knew that he was awake. Or had been awake.

"Yes Armandeus, I am here." She replied while working at the desk in the corner. The tea was almost ready. A quick weave of fire around the pot and the water inside was instantly hot. The hawthorn hers were crushed and deposited into a tea ball before that was placed in a cup and the hot water poured over it. "You have been asleep for over a week."

Cup in hand De'Ryanna approached the bed and sat perched on the small space near the edge. One hand holding the cup the other pressed against his forehead, checking his temperature. "How are you feeling?"

[Armandeus]

His wish had been granted: she was making tea, the sounds and smell confirmed it. One had to wonder if she was secretly a mind reader for knowing what he wanted. Even if it was just a coincidence, it was a welcome one.

He coughed, trying to clear his throat. "I feel like I've been sleeping for a week.." Leave it to Ar to try making a joke out of it. He even managed a small smile as his head turned towards her.

His forehead was warm, and her touch was welcoming cool. "That feels.. good." He sighed at the feeling, almost content. He still wanted that drink, and one hand had came up, blindly reaching out for the cup he knew she was holding.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

"You are going to have to open your eyes if you want to have any of my tea." It was true, his hand was reaching for it, but the tea was hot and if he did not look at what he was doing she would have burns to heal. De'Ryanna took her hand from his forehead and she took the hand he extended and offered a steady hold for him to pull up on.

"If you choose to keep them shut you must at least sit up. Otherwise I will have to feed you the tea myself, as I have been doing these many days." Her voice continued to be soft and soothing, not strict or demanding in any way for she knew that he had gone through an ordeal. It had taken her a couple days to get rid of the backlash headache that came with entering into his angry mind that night.

Her eyes looked down to the tea cup. "Do you remember anything of the night you came into my room?"

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

He had always been sensitive to light after the visions, and event he promise of tea wasn't enough to make him open his eyes. Sitting up seemed to be the best option, and so he held onto her hand, pulling himself slowly into a sitting position. "I remember talking to you.."

He was not going to open his eyes. That was fine. He could drink with his eyes shut. "Hold your hand out and I will give you the cup. Be careful. It's hot." She thought about cooling it, but he might take his tea hot. Until he moved his hand she would keep her arm there for support. "Do you remember anything else before you fainted? I was surprised that you came to me. Sadly, I do not think I was much help this time."

"Pain.. I remember pain.." That was impossible to forget, no matter how long he had been asleep. The hand that wasn't holding onto her came out, waiting for the cup. "I came too late.."

"Or perhaps I should not have delayed." De'Ryanna placed the tea cup into his hand, making sure he had control before letting it go. "We are told of the dangers of entering into an angry mind, as how yours would be described, and it caused me to hesitate. Simply attempting to connect I felt a lot of chaos going on inside your head."

She paused and tugged her skirt. "And then I sought to calm you down. It worked, for a moment. Then you passed out. Do you
remember any of that?"

"I remember that, and waking alone.." He had the teacup! He held it carefully, slowly bringing it up to drink. It was hot, and he only managed a small sip before lowering the cup again. "It could have hurt you.."

"Yes, well." He remembered? She was suddenly glad that he had his eyes closed. He wasn't able to see her trying not to be flustered. "I don't want you to worry about what may or may not have happened to me. I was able to make a .. small connected before my hands pulled back. It.. was a quite a jumble. I'm still trying to figure out what I saw." that last part she said softer, almost to herself.

"I came to you for help, I did not intend on you getting hurt." He blew on the tea, trying to cool it down enough to drink. "It has been worse.." He didn't have the heart to tell her that this had been rather mild to what he had went through before. "You saw something?"

She sighed. Since he was sitting up there was a little more room and she took advantage of it, pulling one leg under her so she could turn and sit better. Even face him more. "I don't know. When I think about it all I can
see is the pain," and what she did before she made that connection, but she wasn't going to say that. "I haven't been able to sort through that yet. And for the record I'm fine."

She was moving, and he let go of her arm. "I am glad you were not hurt." He would have hated if she had ended up hurt in the process of trying to help him. He fell silent then, back to sipping on his now cooler tea.

"I don't know how you usually deal with the pain but, I can't be much help to you if you can't relax ." Sitting straight her hands were folded in her lap. "I know it's hard. Can you focus through pain Armandeus?"

"There is no dealing with it, there is simply forcing yourself to ignore it." Even though his eyes were still closed, his head bent down. "There is a jar with capsules in it next to my bed.. they help when it gets worse." That was said quietly, followed by his hiding behind the teacup.

"You're dealing with it by choosing to ignore it or taking pills. That is dealing with it. But you are still allowing the pain to control you. Why do you choose to do that instead of facing that which bring you pain? We cannot
ignore those things forever. When we do ,they only become stronger and the become our master." It was easy for her to slip into an instructional tone, and so she sought to prevent that from happening. This was not the place for it, but she wanted him to understand that there was more than simply ignoring things.

Master? His eyes flew open in alarm, and it was only luck that kept him from dropping the teacup. He stared at her through watery eyes before closing them again. "I lived through it once, I should not have to relive it, not like this."

"You lived through it and you survived to tell about it." Watching him De'Ryanna held her hands together tightly in her lap. "There's no reason why you should start letting it get to you now and giving in. You didn't let it
control you then, don't let it control you now. Fight back against it."

"You cannot fight ghosts, especially those that live in your mind.." He didn't want to have this conversation, not with her, or anyone else. Instead he busied himself with finishing off the tea, not saying a word.

"And you can't help someone who doesn't want to be saved." Could always rescue them, but unless they desired to be helped, the same problem would continue to arise. "Think about it Armandeus. You're either the master of yourself, or the master to someone. Or something." Needing to tag that at the end so it wouldn't be confused. Turning she rose from the bed to head to the small desk to clean up after she made the tea. Though in truth there was hardly anything to clean up at all. She did not say anything for a moment or two and when she spoke her back was still turned.

"I don't mean to lecture, but I know you're strong. I'd hate to see you give up on anything."

"I am not strong enough to fight this." The tea was gone, and he suddenly felt like he should go as well. He had felt her move off the bed, and walk away. It made him frown and he moved off the bed, slowly standing up.

"I am master to no one.." He stumbled over the words as he stumbled his way blindly towards the door.

Internally scolding herself she turned back around and reached out for him. "Ar stop." Realizing that she had shortened his name she gave a quick shake of her head and started again. "Armandeus. Stop. Please." He would have move her aside to get out of her room. Might not take much.

"Alone, we are hardly able to face challenges, but together, with others, we are able to do many things. The likes of which we've never imagined. Even change the world. Don't go. "

[Armandeus]

She called him Ar, and that alone was enough to cause him to stop. "Change the world?" He sighed, "I won't go on one condition.. you stop saying that word." He paused, his hand reaching out to find her. "Can you turn the lights off as well?"

That word had to be 'master'. She could do that. It wasn't anything major he was asking her to do. De'Ryanna lifted her hand and caught his - he probably wanted help getting back to the bed. "All right." She only hoped that perhaps she had made a difference, If only a small one. The lights went off, save for the small one on the desk. She needed to be able to see. "Yes. Change the world. It is possible."

"I have never been told that before." The lights had went off and he slowly opened his eyes again, grateful he was able to keep them open this time. "I have never believed in anything like that." It was the truth, he had never believed he could change anything.

"I am glad to be the first." Now that she had hold of him she helped led him back to the bed. Fortunately for him he was not protesting being on the bed - not yet - for if he tried he'd loose. "What things do you believe in Armandeus? For small things, I believe that you will be well enough soon and back in your kitchen."

He let her lead him without complaint, sitting back on the edge of the bed. The bed was already messed up, there was nothing to protest against now, besides it was softer than the floor. "I do not believe in anything." Anything that he could think of at the moment. "Back in my kitchen.. I have not been in the kitchen for a long time."

This time she sat on the other side, it was better than trying to perch herself as before, and perhaps it will get him to make himself comfortable. "Madeline has done well while you have been gone, though I think that she would appreciate the break." She paused then and lowered her head. "Do you not even believe in yourself and your own abilities?"

"I am surprised Elessar did not take over the cooking. He usually does during these times.." He was quiet again, looking out at her room now that he could see it. Was he ignoring her last question? In one word: yes.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

De'Ryanna's room was hardly decorated. If you asked her she would say it as practical. And neat. Everything had it's place. If there was dust anywhere then it was probably exactly where it was suppose to be. A lot of colors were silvers and metallic blues and light browns, but there was hardly anything to see. No personal affect in the open. "I am surprised that he did not come as he did the last time." he didn't answer her question ,that only told her that she might have been correct.

"We spoke about it. He knows I am in good care." Her room was nice, Armandeus liked the colors. The best part was it was as neat as his room, if not neater.

That was pleasant to hear, and she caught herself smiling. Not because Elessar was not going to come knocking on her door demanding to be let in, but what Armandeus thought of her. "You are in good care," Reaching out with her hand she placed it over his own. "And I will do what I can to help you. We can finish what we attempted to do in the kitchen that morning. And I shall give you something." She rose from the bed and headed to her dresser.

Armandeus noticed that smile and it even caused him to smile as he looked down at their hands. "If you can't help I don't think anyone could. You have something for me?" Ar wasn't as naturally curious driven as most Elves, but he couldn't help but be curious at that.

Over at her dresser De'Ryanna reached into the top drawer and pulled out a maroon leather box. It was not very large, it could fit in her hand, an brought the box back to the bed. Setting it down she opened it. Inside were three silver balls no bigger than a golf ball, or an egg. "Hold out your hand."

"Are we going to have target practice?" That's what the silver balls looked like to him. They were about the same size as the targets he was used to practicing with. He held out his hand as requested, wondering what she wanted him to do with them.

"No." She sounded a bit confused by his question of target practice. In his outstretched hand she began to place the balls. Since they were pure silver they had weight, a few pounds each. All together, when all three balls were in his hand, he would be holding six pounds. "Now, for your first exercise I want you to hold these balls in your hand, outstretched, and stay that way for an hour. When you can do that, we will move to the next task."

With her confused tone Ar made a note to show her his practice targets when he got a chance. It was then his turn to look confused as he looked from the balls back to her face. "Hold them in my hand for an hour? How does this help towards the visions?"

"It will help you learn to focus and concentrate. Above all else, you must learn how to focus, and remain focus, even with present distractions." nodding towards the hand that held the silver balls. "After a few minutes of holding them your arm will start to feel heavy, tired, and you'll want to put your arm down. It takes focus to be able to go through with the task for an hour. your visions disrupt your mind and ruin your focus. You need to get that back."

Given the choice he would have rather used them for target practice. He was looking at the balls with a frown, moving his hand in closer to look at them. "I can focus fine.. there is no focusing through chaos."

She shook her head. "Oh but there is. Practice Armandeus. Practice, strengthen your focus, and you'll be able to see through the chaos."

-fin

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