Thoughts at the Falls

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

“In so far as one denies what is, one is possessed by what is not, the compulsions, the fantasies, the terrors that flock to fill the void.” - Ursula K. LeGuin

The beams of moonlight that filtered through the trees made the small rocks that laid just below the waters surface shimmer. Their light twinkled and the water took on a irridescet glow all it's own aided by the light mist that grew from the waterfall not too far away. The spot was quiet, peaceful, and the air here felt just a bit cool. It was the perfect place for her to be for it opposed what she was feeling on the inside. Empty.

Sitting atop one of the rocks her skirt was hiked up to the knees; feet were bare as they swung lazily back and forth in the water. Her eyes were focused upon her moving feet, watching as they broke up the rock shimmer on the water only to see it form again. A sigh escaped her lips and her torso leaned forward until chest met upper thighs and her arms wrapped under her legs to hold her in place.

I could never fully leave you. Those words echoed in hear head and she closed her eyes. How could he have said that and she not be jumping for joy? If he left in a small measure or a larger one he would still leave and that is what should bring her joy. All it did was make her feel empty. For a very long time there were always things that came and went in her life: the Sisters in the Tower, the so-called friends at Court, the men who stated so strongly for her hand. They all served moments in her life and when they left she felt nothing of it. She didn't even care much when her Mother would come and go for that was just how things were.

Now she was older and things were different. Somehow. Was it because the one stable part in her life could change? It doesn't have to change, she thought, it doesn't have to change.

But it did.

It had to change because she wanted to make her own decision concerning who she wanted in her life. She wanted to not be afraid to experience the emotions that she saw exhibited all around her.

Maybe it was change that scared her, or the thought that this empty feeling she felt from his prolonged silence would endure as a constant reminder of what she lost. But I'll have someone new then. Someone that I can share with, who doesn't want me for what I can do for them. They'll only want me for me. She had asked one person, asked him to consider it, and now she had doubts. Or was it fear of rejection?

“I didn’t have a choice before,” she confessed to the rocks in the water. “Having the choice makes all the difference.”

[Xavier]

"Having a choice is the difference between freedom and slavery. Hi, Ryan." He smiled, walking out to where he could be seen. Of course, she probably felt him coming, or scented him, unless he had come from downwind. I kind of hoped to find you tonight." He sat down beside her, sliding closer, and looked out over the water. "Good place to think for us, you know. Nature is our element."

After a moment, he took the dagger out of it's sheathe behind his back, holding it in front of him. "I talked with Mother. There are quite a few properties to this that make it more a weapon than I had thought. Not to kill or cut, but to sever as well." He turned his head, seeking her eyes. "Everything changes, little sis. Well, except for one thing." He leaned over, kissing her cheek. "I still love ya. That's why I'm going to be quiet now and allow you to speak, be silent, or whatever you want. Well, after one more thing."

He closed his eyes, holding out his left hand while gripping the dagger in the right, and began to concentrate. The dagger seemed to glow a bit, and after a moment, a soft sigh escaped him. A sound from the water would most likely divert her attention, and the sound was coming from a column of water rising from the rest, seeming to hang there as if suspended. He opened one eye and grinned. "Pretty nifty, huh?"

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

Perhaps he had been downwind for she hadn't known that he was coming. It could always be that she wasn't focused on that either. Since she has downplayed her Lycan abilities for so long they were not as developed as her brothers or fathers and she mostly had to focus to be able to use her sense as she should if the person wasn't trying to be found. When Xavier exposed himself she knew he was there and turned her head to look and scooted over on the rocks when he continued to come near.

De'Ryanna pursed her lips together and looked at him a moment longer before she turned her head to look at the water again, listening to what he was saying as she watched the twinkling rocks. Body tensed a bit and rocked to the opposite direction when he pressed the kiss to her cheek. She was glad for his display a power for it served as a good reason for her not to say anything right away - even if him holding a bit of the Source made her skin prickle. "So you made contact with Mother." That was good or bad depending on how things had gone in their conversation.

"Be careful with that." indicating his small pillar of water before she looked behind her and looked out into the dark. "You never know who could be watching. Hide your hand." She did not mean his literally hand, she was speaking symbolically as in hiding his hand of cards.

She stretched her legs into the water and submerged them up to her ankles and her hands pushed palm down on either side of the rock she sat on as she lowered her chin a bit. "That's a bit harsh isn't it? To call me his slave." She started to sniff at her brother but stopped half way and sighed instead.

"And severing's what daggers do, isn't it? Like all blades they have the ability to cut something from another." Said with the limited knowledge she had about blades.

[Xavier]

He released Saidin, causing the water to fall back into it's normal flow, and looked to her. "Good idea....just wanted to show you. Oh, and you misunderstand, Ryan. I never called you his slave, I was drawing a comparison. Such as this: one who is born into slavery looks upon freedom as an alien and possibly frightening thing, just as one born into war could look at peace as boring and undesirable. It's all a matter of perspective." He nodded, hoping that he had made his point.

"You know, Mother told me a few things about this weapon. It isn't just a weapon. I have come to think of it as a tool...something to be used as a means to an end. I need to know something, De'Ryanna, and please, be completely honest with me." He paused, seeking calm and composure to mask his feelings of urgency. "Would you be free of Benjamin's influence? Would you cast off the yoke that he placed upon you uninvited?"

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

"As he so directly stated to me: he could never fully leave." De'Ryanna said as she pulled her feet up and out of the water, she didn't make the statement just so he would know what Benjamin had said, but she said it for her own reassurance. He said it and he had never lied to her. Even if that was a hard to swallow truth.

Without even shaking the water off of her feet she turned and sat them down on the ground and stood. "So whether or not I would be free of his influence or not doesn't carry much weight." She said that over her shoulder to him. She had already taken her feet out of the water but now she wished that she hadn't. It wasn't that the ground was hard or she was bothered by the grass and natural things found there, but the water and the rocks had provided a distraction whereas the ground and it's properties were only a slight annoyance.

She wasn't going to let herself get riled up simply because he was asking her about freedom from Benjamin. Her answer was honest. As honest as she could get it for the most part since her answer to his question was both yes and no.

"He gave me one of his gifts last time he visited the Inn," making where he visited specific and started following the water edge around to locate where she had put her slipper shoes. It was a good thing that she had decent night-vision or else she would never be able to find them. "After all this time he decides that now he'll let the bond go if I find someone to take it. "

[Xavier]

Xavier watched her carefully, pondering his next move. "How very gracious of him. As for his claims that he could never fully leave you, that remains to be seen. Sister." He added that last with an acid tinge in his voice, and quickly seized Saidin, holding it through the dagger that he rarely put away anymore. "I apologize for lying to you, De'Ryanna. The amount of Saidin I can hold is, as it stands at the moment, quite a bit more than I have led you to believe. I must also apologize for this." Channeling Earth, he pulled a rock from the ground, and, while she was turned away, sent it rushing toward her head at a great speed, much faster than a running human. Why? It would become clear later. That is, if the rock struck true.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you Xavier!" Those words were practically growled at him. She may not be able to see a man's weave but she could tell when one was Channeling by the way her skin prickled. Take that and add it with the natural reflexes that came with being a Lycan and that rock just missed her head as she spun around to face him head on. She had taken a firm grasp of the Source and her eyes were as cold as the water as she looked at him.

De'Ryanna stood where she was, not even moving much as she waited for him to make his next move. "Is everything you do a lie? How can I believe anything that you have told me or anything that you're going to tell me when you keep lying! Light help me you better answer me in truth or I swear, under the Light, that I'll hold you down and bind you against lying till the day you die."

Could she really do it? Probably not, but there was more than a trickle of anger showing through on her and that meant that her emotional pathways were open.

[Xavier]

He had to remain calm, or he would lose his grip on Saidin. He knew she could block him if she really tried, but she hadn't. His heart had not been in that strike at her, but he would do what he had to. "I lied because I had to. Light burn me, I don't want this! Blood and ashes, De'Ryanna, you don't know what I was told I must do! If you knew, you...."

He closed his mouth, teeth clicking together, on the verge of frustrated tears. "If this is a gift, Ryan, I never want another. You have no idea what I was told I must do in order to see you freed." He ground his teeth, almost cracking a canine. "If the bastard son of a whore can hear me, let him know that I do not fear him. Let him know that I would rather die here and now than to see him continue to rob you of privacy, of freedom...what he did is little better than rape!" He snarled at the last, his boundaries momentarily forgotten.

He realized he was losing control, so he backed off, visibly relaxing. "I'd gladly bind myself against lying to you, De'Ryanna. Pass the bond to me. You won't regret it. Anything but...." He trailed off, shaking his head. "Don't be so quick to pass judgement on me, Ryan. I wasn't lying when I said I love you. Yes, I lied about how much I could channel because I don't like to tip my hand until I have to. Think about it, if you had a secret weapon that could win a battle without a single person on your side having to even be wounded, would you broadcast it to your enemy?"

"I know he watches you. That's why I'm here. I want to see if the jack-daw fool will come out and face me like a man....if he even remembers how."

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

"You act like Father." Was her pointed reply to what he said, the last word almost spitted out and the growl filtering along the bottom of her words. His retort to her could be that she acted like Mother. It was to be expected. Her eyes remained steady on him even as he spoke. Xavier really was the more emotional of the two of them but, as twins or siblings, that happens. The same traits can not go to both, someone has to lack in a department.

Xavier was more empathic than she.

"What he did to me is in the past, Xavier, in the past and I've come to terms with it." De'Ryanna came to terms with it enough that she could say it for truth. "I hate what he did to me those many years ago. I hate how that I can't take the man that I choose and do what I want with him because of what can happen when I get emotional, but you can't make that decision for me and decide that now is the time to end it. It's my decision. Mine! And I'll make that decision when I'm damn-well ready and not before!"

She had already been teetering on the edges of her emotions when she first came to the falls, that's why she had been there, to straighten things out in her mind and she had been doing a good job at it. Until, that is, Xavier tried to hit her with a rock and in her mind was trying to decide for her what she needed to do. Throughout her life De'Ryanna never felt like she had much of a choice with anything, that she only always had to do what was expected of her and what she was told. Even when she gave orders to other people it wasn't always what she would want them to do but things she had to have them do for some other purpose. She had gotten angry and had only let that anger in her start to grow as he spoke and she did in return.

And now, now perhaps she had gone a bit too far for her last words to him were a blatant growl. De'Ryanna stumbled back a step and her fisted hands pressed hard against her eyes as she hunched over. She had twisted the top off the anger in her without knowing it. Usually it wouldn't have been allowed to go as far as it did but this time it wasn't stopped and it was flowing through her.

Another step back and she dropped to her knees.

[Xavier]

He almost rushed to her side, but he waited. So long as the dagger was near his skin, he could feel it, and it made him feel secure. So, he un-tucked his shirt and slid the dagger behind his belt. After this, he would slowly walk toward her.

"De'Ryanna, I'm sorry. I've not done this properly, but I was told...something...I'd rather not do. It is your choice what you do, I only wanted to help you. I fear we have become very different for our different paths....but one thing I can't do is stop trying. You'll always be my little sister, and I will always love you, even if I don't get everything right. I never did, so why expect it of me now? Light, De'Ryanna, you'd think it was easy just shoving a dagger through your heart!"

He snapped his teeth together, knowing it was too late and cursing himself for a fool. She would know, and now so would he. He could only hope the devil wasn't listening. Even if he was, though, there was nothing he could do to him. Either way, they were at an impasse.

[B.D. Adams]

Benjamin Adams always kept an eye on the things that he claimed to be his. Every move they made and conversation that they had held with it the possibility that he would know exactly what they were doing even if they didn't know this truth for themselves. A person could not claim that they knew what was going on with their items if all of their attention, all of the time, was on one item. No. It had to be broken up. Just because he wasn't actively watching his items did not mean he was not aware of what went on with them.

This was the case with De'Ryanna. After giving her the chain he had decided to step back and allow her time to make the decision she needed to make without worrying about him being an influence. Staying away from her was a harder task than he would admit, especially as they were bonded – rightfully or willingly done – and he knew what she was feeling. It made him antsy to stand aside and not act but that is what he did up until the point where her brother made her angry.

Did he not know the game he was playing at? Had she not told him about her problem with anger? Benjamin was sure that she had and yet the boy was trying to goad her instead of doing with the dagger the thing he was meant to do with it. He felt De’Ryanna’s anger strike when she first yelled against Xavier, but he let it go. Part of him letting her handle her own affairs was in letting her handle her own emotions; that included her anger. It was a part of her that she needed to learn to control if she ever wanted to bond with another. He could handle her if the anger got out of control.

The more Xavier spoke the more he felt De’Ryanna’s anger grow and decided that it was time to make an appearance.

For a moment the night became darker and still as from the shadows a few feet behind De’Ryanna the whites of his eyes could be seen and they were trained on Xavier. With his appearance she would know that he was there and the feeling of him would be hers again – but he would not pull a handle on her anger nor would he allow an chance of her accidentally drawing from him. As he stepped forward more was revealed from the toe of his boots, the baggy black pants and leather vest that were constant components of his attire. Clean-shaven as always with his short cut hair Benjamin moved from the shadows and into the fullness of the night’s light. Remembering Xavier from his time in Cairhien and he was looking at him now no differently than he had those years ago. Xavier had always been a good solider and he got the job done. He may not have known that Benjamin always kept an eye on the boy’s progress.

Stepping closer to De’Ryanna his eyes turned to regard her and there was a slight bend in his legs as he reached out and his hand settled upon her shoulder. He said nothing, only let his hand stay there as pressure upon her body. It was touch that he knew she needed and perhaps that would be enough to push through her anger.

Benjamin’s hand stayed for a moment or two longer before his fingers lifted and his attention went to Xavier. His fingers flexed in and out at his sides and he gave a roll of his shoulders as he stood between the two siblings.

[Xavier]

The dagger was in his hand in a flash as he dropped to a defensive position. He had not heard the approach, and was quite unaccustomed to being approached without being aware of it. As recognition dawned in his eyes, he relaxed a bit, not loosing his grip on the dagger, but keeping it at the ready. He nodded once, then, switching hands to hold the weapon in his left, he pressed his fist to his chest, a salute to a former commander. "I see you, Roderick. Or...well, I am at a loss. Should I refer to you as Benjamin or Roderick now?" He paused, then, as if at a loss, added a quick "Sir." to the previous question. He was a highly trained and conditioned soldier, and one did not throw away lessons learned because of half-speculated revelations. The greeting he offered, speaking aloud that he saw him, was not a statement of the obvious, but was instead a standard greeting among the Aiel with which he had spent so much time.

He eased a bit, taking up a non-threatening pose that was something between a guarded stance and parade rest. Seemingly aloof, but ready for any quick motions from either of them. "Tell me, Sir, what has transpired since our last meeting? I was unaware that you had left Cairhein, and was, quite frankly, surprised to find that you were a frequent guest at the Inn in which my sister works. I've heard troubling rumors, and I cannot think of a better person to seek answers from than the source of them." His tone was mild, perhaps even friendly. He had, as he saw it, nothing to fear from the man, considering the time they spent working together. He had, at one time, looked up to Roderick as a young man would usually do when someone was their commanding officer. Now, out of the armed forces and working to establish himself, he was simply curious. He knew better than to think Roderick would tell him much, but he would not betray anything he knew or thought by senseless or rash words. After all, he had learned his lessons well on and off the battlefield.

"It is, as it stands, good to see you, Sir." Once again, he saluted the man, glancing momentarily to his sister. "I had no intention of riling her, for the record. Time passes, and the Wheel weaves tangents for us all. Sometimes even the closest of family and friends change to almost unrecognizable in the span of a few months." He stood stock-still and silent, as if waiting for the man to explain something. He had colored himself as a chatty blabbermouth since arriving in this land, but that was a different story altogether. He was not putting on the facade of an untested youth for the time being, since he knew he could not fool Roderick with the act for even a moment.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

The moment De'Ryanna had dropped down to her knees she had started taking in quick deep breaths as she sought to hold on to some semblance of calm. What was that her brother had said? He was told something he'd rather not do? Told to do it, wasn't doing it, but it was upsetting? Her fist clenched even tighter and in her quest to find calm she had grabbed a strangle hold on Saidar and her anger ebbed away by an inch. It was small, but it was still there. How was that possible? Before she had never been able to grab hold of it when she wasn't calm? Maybe she wasn't as angry as she thought? There wasn't any time - or room in her head- to think on that now as the sweetness of the power going through her created it's own conflict to the feral wolf that was clawing to come out.

It was safe to say that what he told her about stabbing her through the heart did not register due to all the din between her ears. She had to do something to release all the pressure that was building up and perhaps it was a good thing that Xavier hadn't tried to attack her. She was bound against using the Source as a weapon, but there were exceptions and self defense was one of them. When Xavier snapped his teeth shut she slammed her fist into the ground. At that instant there was the small rumble in the ground - as that's where she directed her energy she was holding. Earth was the stronger of the five elements she could tap.

At the same time, as soon as the rumble started through the earth, she felt Benjamin appear. Having not felt his presence at all for weeks only to feel it now caused a growl to come from her lips, hands pressing out flat on the ground as she readied to stand. She moved up an inch only to feel his hand on her shoulder and she paused. Everything seemed to stop for her or at least quieted and it was due to the calm composure Benjamin had about him. It was enough to push down the anger down enough so she could think clearer and she let go of the Source and her position relaxed on the ground. De'Ryanna hung her head and focused on breathing, the Lycan was still there, she felt it as she always did, but she felt more in control.

When Benjamin let go of her shoulder he did something she wasn't expecting: he blocked her from Xavier. Did he really think that her brother was going to hurt her? And then he was being nice to Benjamin when this was the same guy he had been up in arms about for what he had done to her? "No. No, no Xavier this is the same man." Words through partially clenched teeth as she stayed on the ground.

"Roderick. Benjamin. Benjamin. Roderick. He's the same person you who has done those things that grieved you."

[B.D. Adams]

"He's the same person you who has done those things that grieved you."

That grieved you. Why had she not said 'that grieved us'? A person could argue that it was all semantics but whether it was or not picking up on small things like that was something needed if the words of the speaker were to be fully understood. This matter was tucked away for now as he continued to focus on the brother, this task being made simpler now that De'Ryanna had calmed herself. This was something that he was proud of even if his presence had been part of the cause.

The Xavier that was speaking now was different than the one that was speaking earlier. Indeed, he had heard all the conversation at the falls and had taken note of the change in his personality. Would he say any of this? Hardly.

Benjamin did not move from where he stood in light of Xavier's revelation of his intentions towards his sister. He had the dagger and knew what he had to do with it. Benjamin was not concerned with his own life - the dagger may be able to harm him but he wouldn't die - but he was protective of the life of De'Ryanna. "Unless you are going to use the dagger your purpose here tonight is through." Why else would he have brought it if not to use it in some other way than to tell her the truth about his connection to the Source. If it was for the purpose of making Benjamin appear then here he was.

Xavier had questions for them and he was inclined to answer none of them. "I am with your sister now as I have always been." That was enough of an answer for it spoke to much of what was asked: about the rumors and why he was here. De'Ryanna had already explained about the name, what else did he need to know?

[Xavier]

Those things that grieved you. He didn't allow it to show, but that gave him pause. After all, if it had been anyone else besides her, he would have let it be. The truth was, he wouldn't have spared it another thought. But this was his sister. That made all the difference. His eyes shifted to De'Ryanna for a moment, hoping she understood why he hadn't just jumped the man. That was for someone who didn't know how to be subtle. Wit, like strength, could be used as a cutlass or rapier. A cutlass, to hack and slash until tired, or a rapier, to pierce the heart and be done with it. "That's the trouble I am having, De'Ryanna. Why would he do such a thing? Roderick was a man of honor, and to do something so...tacky...well, it's quite beneath him."

His attention turned back to Benjamin just in time for him to hear him speak, first about his purpose being done, then about him being with De'Ryanna. "I am no longer yours to command, Benjamin." The name was spoken with the same tone Xavier would use to refer to a Trolloc. "I am certainly not yours to dismiss. Leave us. You are a lot more boring than you once were." Xavier stepped forward, then laughed. "Oh, my mistake. You don't like to be approached in a frontal manner." He pivoted on his heel, turning his back to them both. "Is this more to your liking? After all, the kind of man that forces a Bond on a young woman would certainly not have the stones to attack another fairly." He had not lost his mind, of course. His dagger was out, spinning around the first two fingers of his left hand before being gripped firmly by the handle. Saidin flowed into him, like a river of molten steel, and he sighed. Calmly, he looked over his shoulder. "If this isn't to your liking, sir, I could plug my ears and close my eyes." A fair deal in his own mind. He never said he was going to ignore his other senses. "At any rate, I would like to speak to my sister undisturbed, and you have wasted enough of my time. So, either do something to make me leave, or go yourself. The only thing that angers me more than someone purposely boring me is someone purposely wasting my time. Go." It wasn't a simple word, it had the weight and authority of one who had grown quite accustomed to being in command. He didn't expect Benjamin to leave without a tad of witty repartee, but there was always the chance. Of course, there was an equal chance that he would slip up and reveal something. A level head didn't give it's secrets up, but an angry man would tell you exactly what you wished of him.

He had not forgotten what he was told of the dagger's true purpose, and he firmly intended to use it. He would decide when, though, not someone else. Least of all a failed commander. Did the man know anything of how much he had learned in the years since they had met? Or, perhaps he needed a crash-course in the subject?

[B.D. Adams]

If this was Xavier being subtle then it was lost on Benjamin. The way that the male in front of him switched personalities on and off spoke of the mans character. What it was saying Benjamin was not going to utter nor would it be seen reflected on his face. The only one who may have an inkling of what his opinion was on Xavier's behavior was De'Ryanna because of their bond. And that all depended on what he had not blocked from her. 

In retrospect it was all quite interesting - the one who proclaims so much at wanting to see him and what he would do turns and tells the one they wanted to leave once they arrive. Surely a man who was known to be trustworthy and throughou had not been boastful and spoke those words only to turn tail when the buck comes to call. That would be lying. Although Benjamin was made to wonder: how would the two of them ever have met if what Xavier said was true and Benjamin didn't like being approached from the front? Pretty hard to command when all you see primarily are their backs. 

If Benjamin said anything to Xavier it would have been to tell him that he speaks on things - like why he had bonded De'Ryanna - that he didn't understand.  He was sure that the reason she had was not fully correct either but as she never asked he never did tell. But Benjamin didn't say that, in fact he did not feel compelled to say anything to the man. 

He had come not because of Xavier's desire to see him face-to-face (or was it face-to-back now?) but because he had felt De'Ryanna's anger gripping her and the pain it was causing. 

Benjamin stepped to the side and partially turned his back on Xavier to look at De'Ryanna who was still down upon her knees and extended out his hand for her to take. 

Still he said nothing.

[Xavier]

Oh well, so much for Benjamin being an angry man. Or, well, any sort of man, as it seemed. All the Light-blasted fool did was stand there and manage to look like an idiot. Wonderful. And this...this was the person who had caused Ryan so much heartache? Why had his mother suffered him to live? That would be a question for another time. The present, though, was more important. He turned to look, noting that Ryan had seemed to relax somewhat, and filed that away. She would be fine. She was much stronger than even he gave her credit for sometimes. "A funny thing occurs to me. You come to the rescue, time and again, saving my sister from 'herself', as it were. Has it not crossed your fool mind that she would not be in the condition she is in if you had left her alone?" As he spoke, his eyes froze on Benjamin. "It's logic, Benjamin. Pure logic. You caused the problems you purportedly save her from. Whether this was intentional or no is irrelevant."

"You have convinced me of one thing, though. Whatever it takes, no matter what, she will be free of you. Fully. You see, I have another sister, and were it not for the sacrifice of another, she would have been a history lesson. Yes, Ben, you murdered her. I am not surprised, though. A stab in the back, an attack on a woman...just how long has that been your style?" He shook his head, bemused. "Sure, there were rumors, but who could believe that Gaspar d'Milquetoast here was capable of such? I should have listened to the other men. Well, all but the one that said you liked them young AND male. I think he had taken a few too many trips to Shadar Logoth, if you get my drift." He began walking toward them, obviously both unconcerned and unafraid. The eerie part? His voice had never faltered, never raised. He spoke quietly, knowing they could both hear him even if he whispered. He also spoke dispassionately, as if he really did not care. He did, of course, care about his sister, but best not to let on too much. His ruse had been successful, and now he could only wait and delay whilst the fool sprung the last of the trap.

He could wait. After all, it was quite entertaining watching Benjamin try to figure him out while trying not to seem like he was. One of them would feel the bite of the dagger he bore before the night ended, though. He had already, after all, promised that it would be so.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

De'Ryanna was relaxed because of Benjmain. He might have caused her problems but it was a good guess that they were not the same problems that Xavier stated that she was being saved from. "You still are not listening to me. Are you Xavier?" She was trying to keep her calm - or what cold be considered as such. Picking her head up to look at the two men. Benjamin was holding his hand out for her to take and her brother was coming forward.

Cold set eyes looked at each of them in turn before she sought to settle them on Benjamin's hand. Was there a double meaning in his offer to help her up? She didn't feel anything from him. Anything. And not feeling anything didn't exactly instill confidence. She could take his hand and instead of only helping her to stand he could take them both away from her and to somewhere else. That's what he was here for right? To take her away from her brother and the dagger he was wanting to use?

"Despite what I said you're still not listening to me." Her voice was close to raising but she was barely keeping it in check. She pushed up from the ground and firmly took Benjamin's hand, her fingers wrapping around his as she stood up. De'Ryanna knew that she could apply lots of pressure to that hold but it wouldn't cause him to teeter forward or loose his balance in anyway.

Once she was on her feet again her other hand dusted over her knees to brush off any debris from the ground. It didn't cross her mind to let go of Benjamin's hand yet, perhaps it was because if she were to take her aggression out on someone it would be him and it was easier to do so - with all the walls he had up around his mind - if they were touching. "Why can't you let me make the decision? He's in my blood Xavier, what are you going to do, bleed me to death to make sure he's gone completely?"

Remembering that she was holding Benjamin's hand opened her hold to let his hand go as she made move to step away from him. "Now he gave me an opportunity to have the bond passed and Light help me if you ruin that chance for me...." Trailing off and not letting the rest of that thought be said. She was keeping her 'calm' and her voice wasn't raising at all. "I can only guess at why I have this opportunity."

De'Ryanna moved from both men, how they were positioned now likened a triangle. And she was still without her shoes. "But I want to take it." That was directed to the both of them.

[Xavier]

He really should have been angry, perhaps angry enough to do the dark deed his mother had told him about, and that Benjamin had clearly alluded to. So, why was the young man called Xavier smiling?

He had won a small victory, that's why.

Usually, when given a chance, most every person, mortal or no, human or other, would tell on themselves....a sort of karmic slip, if you will. Benjamin had done what Xavier knew he could never force him to do, and that was completely tattle on himself. After a moment, when he could trust his voice not to crack, he turned to Ryan, fixing her with a look.

"Well, De'Ryanna, dear sister, have you figured it out yet? It seems we're both being played in one form or another. Point one. Mother had the dagger made by some unknown shadow-figure....Light, Dad doesn't even know who made it, only that Trollocs guarded it in the center of Cairhein!" He raised the forefinger of his right hand.

"Point two. How exactly does Benjamin know of the dagger and it's purpose?" Another finger raised...was it coincidence that he was now saluting Benjamin? Two-fingered, but still a salute! "And finally, Ryan, why does he want me gone quickly? Oh, I am sure he gave you an out, but have you stopped and wondered why now? As you said, he has held you in this for quite a long time. Why give it up now? Why hide it from all but a few from the beginning?"

After a moment, he looked over to Benjamin. "Don't come any closer, fool. She has spoken her wishes, and you claim to respect her wishes. If this is not another lie, take your leave or stand silent. Allow her the chance to speak." It seemed a bit like the skillet calling the teapot iron, but yes, Xavier was shushing Benjamin.

After another moment, he turned to face Ryan once more. "I bow to your wishes, De'Ryanna. If you need any assistance, please feel free to call for me. I will, of course, be here for awhile yet, if just to make sure everything is followed according to your wishes. Wouldn't want someone going back on their word. Reverting to type. Either way you wish."

[B.D. Adams]

So much of what Xavier prattled off did not make much sense, but that is what happens when a person speaks with limited knowledge. Contrary to anything the boy might believe Benjamin was not being fooled by the act that was being performed. Time back in service would help the young one to learn decorum - something that he must have forgotten. It wouldn't be for Benjamin's sake, but that of his sister. How interesting it was to see a person claim to care so much about his sister and her well-being and yet keep so much distance from her. In truth he should be doing the job that Benjamin was doing - calming her and controlling the situation - instead of trying in vain to belittle what he perceived to be the problem. Benjamin had made any aggressive action but it was clear that he was seen as some type of threat. Why else would the other man speak so loudly? Speak little and accomplish much.

As remarked earlier: if Xavier wasn't going to use the dagger then he had no purpose.

Contrary to belief, Benjamin did care for De'Ryanna in a way and those who have seen the interactions between the two would know this the chose to actually open their eyes. Xavier knew him as Roderick and had seen how he treated his sister. He did not lie.

Benjamin made the slightest ghost of a smile when De'Ryanna actually took his hand and he wrapped his fingers the same way she had hers. There wasn't anything to fear in that hold as he wasn't going to quickly whisk her away and there was nothing more of him that could automatically transfer to her. As she said: he was in her blood and that made all the difference. Surprising to him, she did not let go of his hand after she stood and the thought had crossed his mind to pull her to him, but he didn't, not even after hearing her say that she would choose when their bond was ended. There was something in that statement though that gave him reason to pause.

De'Ryanna moved away from him and he didn't move to follow - this of course had nothing to do with Xavier. Why would he follow her when she wasn't going anywhere? And if either of the two needed to be silent and allow her to speak it was not Benjamin. Perhaps he thought that De'Ryanna was going to ask her brother to stab her after all.

He would break his silence to speak at this point for Xavier continued to speak on things when he was ignorant. "Why now?" He spoke to her brother. "She already knows that answer." For she had asked him a similar question when he gave her the 'out' that day at the stairwell.

There was a lot of that meeting that, if Xavier knew, then his actions here may be different..

[Xavier]

Maybe so, given the fact that Xavier had no way of knowing of the meeting on the stairwell. Regardless, he had not raised his voice over what was needed for the two of them to hear, which was not very loud at all. He had no illusions that either of them needed him to raise his voice in order for him to be heard, so he didn't. He was actually quite calm, in fact. Of course, this was from the oft-mentioned years of training he had endured. He would not speak further on the subject, having said his peace sufficiently.

As De'Ryanna moved away from them both, he caught himself before he smiled. Everything was going as well as could be expected, given the gravity of the situation. He would have offered soothing words or something, but he knew Ryan well enough to know she would think he was patronizing her, leading to still more hostility.

After a few moments, and with a casual flick of his wrist, he flipped the dagger in his hand, thrusting it behind his belt. "Hey man. You know, Ryan has a point. She's got a good head on her shoulders, despite your influence, so I guess I'll trust her to do what's right for her. She knows what is best for her, and I've done her a grave disservice in not remembering she is our mother's daughter. So, be careful, Ryan, and...well, you too, Benjy. Wouldn't want you to do something awful like....oh, I dunno, die horribly of amoebic dysentery. No, that would be just awful." With that, he turned to go. Ryan could handle Benjamin, he had no doubt about it. He would linger for a moment before stepping into the darkness surrounding them, just in case there was a parting shot.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

De'Ryanna saw that Xavier was leaving and while she didn't move to stop him she did call to him as he went. "His name is Benjamin, Xavier. Not Benjy."  There was a level of control granted when using the persons given name and not one spoken out of pretensious kindness. She didn't like to speak his name and avoided it when she could, but she was trying to prove a point: don't be afraid to say his name. Hopefully he understood.

Then she took a step towards Benjamin and tried to look him sqaure in the face but could only get as high as his nose. "He's going to take the bond. Tobias. I asked him if he would and he said yes." At the last word she was able to look him in the eye even if it was only for a few moments before she lowered her eyes and turned away. He knew who Tobias was. Before he had given her this way out she was going to ask him to let her go so that she could be with him. But Benjamin had changed her plans and she didn't have go before him and petition. Maybe that's what he meant when he said he gave her the gift because it was what she needed. 

Maybe. Or maybe it was something different. 

 "That's who I'm choosing. It's my choice." I only have to figure out the 'when'. Those words were unspoken and she picked up her shoes though did not bother to put them on. Xavier was leaving and Benjamin was still there. She felt oddly nervous yet calm at the same time. 

Looking at Benjamin she started to say goodbye but the words didn't come. So with a single nod of her head she turned and left the Falls, going in the opposite direction as her brother. 

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