Balance: From Brother to Sister

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

De'Ryanna waited to go back into the kitchen until Jamison and Madeline left, along with the white kitten. As she turned to go she gave her brother a look. It was a straight look that didn't say much but she flicked her eyes towards the door before she turned and headed there, using her hand to push it open and step inside. In there was the work that she had been doing earlier though now it was only half done. She went to the sink and started washing her hands while she waited for Xavier to join her.

After a few moments spent wiping his face with a bar towel, he rose, walking into the kitchen after her. "Hey, sis. I wanted to speak with you, you know, about the...well, you know. The stuff in your room, with Mom, and the slapping, and the loss of temper." He seemed to be trying to say something, but failing. Finally, he blurted it out. "I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier, and the last time we spoke. I'm waving the white flag, so to speak, so....well, you know."

She had gone from washing her hands in the sink and back to the vegetables she had been chopping. Her head tipped to his direction when he started talking and she paused. "I can't say that I'm sorry for splashing water in your face." She looked down at his clothes. "Though I am sorry that your clothes are wet. At least the Inn is not cold. There's no risk of you catching a chill." That was a bit of both: her trying to be nice - in a way - and funny, even if it was lost. "Having an honor debt has no doubt been very.. trying upon you."

"Nice toss, by the way. I can see that the time we've spent apart hasn't dulled yur reflexes or your aim." He sighed. "Yeah. I love Rhuarc like a brother, and the thought of losing honor in his eyes is worse than death. Coupled with the fact that the bloody Source runs from me like a frightened cat when I try to touch it....look. You know I love you, right?"

"It's a bit hard to miss when you're standing in point blank range." She had been, only separated from him by the bar. If she had missed then there would be a problem. He was speaking and she was slowly dicing a carrot. "As a brother would a sister.. yes. If you didn't then you probably wouldn't have stayed around me all those years.... or probably even came here. Even if you're here because of our Father.'

"I swore a long time ago to protect you. I have failed, and I ask for forgiveness. My toh to you is great for this, De'Ryanna, and I apologize. I don't understand how Roderick became Benjamin, or what hold he has over you, and I would gladly end him for you, if that was your wish. I'm not, by the way, here just for our Father, though I would be a liar if I said I wasn't happy to have finally met him. It was great to get to know him after all these years of wondering what he was like...."

De'Ryanna scooted what she was chopping into a bowl and set down the knife and turned to look at her brother. "I don't know about Father.. I haven't formulated much of an opinion on him besides the fact that he's emotional. I suppose I haven't really tried. I tried once before...." before as in the last time. Things were slightly different between them then, but then again, Ryan was slightly different too. She let that drop as she crossed her arms. "Roderick is Ben...." She almost said his name but caught herself. "Him. That's just a name he uses for that area.' She sighed. "He's been attached to me since I was three...or four, it was during one of the times that we came home from the tower and I went out late at night though Mother told me not to. He and I are bonded. Xavier. I feel what he does, when he lets me a lot he doesn't.. And he feels all of me. A forced bond. " to make that clear.

"The Light-blinded bastard! That's as bad as rape!" He paused, his eyes growing dark. "He hasn't...forced you to do anything, has he?" They had had their share of arguments, but she was still his sister, and he would die before he allowed anyone to harm her. "Is there any way to remove the bond? Say the word, give me something to go on, and he won't live long enough to ever hurt you again. I don't need my other side to take care of him, all I need is this." He patted the hilt of his sword, making sure she could see the heron-marked cross guard.

"Of course he hasn't," saying that quick and brushing it off with a hand. "He's wanted to. I know it. I could feel it every time he's around me. Senses you know?" He'd know what she meant right? "But he never physically touched me with his hands until I turned 18..." she drew in a slow breath. "then he embraced me, he's kissed me but.. that's all. I already gave myself to someone else. He didn't like that. But he's... recently.. he gave me a way out but with everything it has it's strings." She was looking at the floor but she looked at him now. "You say the Source runs from you when you try to touch it. Our Mother, the women of the Tower, Foster dad and all those people at court.. All of them were kept from having physical contact with me because of him. And you wonder why I can be so bitter. You would be to if you see people embracing all the time and you refrain cause of fear that touching them could bring them harm and there's not thing you can do about it . "

He stopped, his mouth dropping open. "Ryan....Light, I had no idea. All this time, I wondered why you were so distant. I...well, I didn't think you even liked me. I know, childish as always, but there it is. Does Dad know? It would probably make him feel a little better that it's not just him, and that it's not that you hate him. He thinks you do, you know. He told me as much, and went on to say that he didn't blame you. He had a daughter long before we were born....her mother was a Drow, and she went insane. She murdered their daughter, and gave her body to a necromancer. Dad had to kill her." He looked away. "Is it any wonder why he was so willing to embrace death? Between that and what Madeline has shown me about Gareth, he carries a burden that I'm not sure I could even begin to carry." He shook his head. "Enough about that, though. I'm assuming that this is no ordinary dagger. Do you have any idea as to what the runes mean?"

"He doesn't know." she was quick to say that. "And maybe he doesn't need to know. Mother knew and aside from you the only one who knows is Tobias. He wants to touch me despite everything and it's why I choose him." She didn't think that he had met Tobias, their father has...."I hear that when you've been around so much death that it doesn’t' bother you as much and you want to experience it yourself. But he has. Maybe a part of him likes the peace that death brings?" she wasn't saying anything bad about, only trying to see why he would want death. She held out her hand. "Do you have it? the dagger? Let me see."

"He doesn't want death, but he does want peace. I don't know, the last time I talked to him, he was really morbid. He even quoted a manuscript from the Age of Legends. 'Duty is heavy as a mountain, death lighter than a feather.' I wish I knew of some way to get him to open up about things, but he seems to share that common trait with Mom." He nodded to her question, reaching behind him to pull the dagger from his belt. "Yes, I've been carrying it with me since she gave it to me." He handed it over to Ryan, hilt-first in the practiced manner of one who has been around weapons his entire life.

Ryanna handled it like a knife - she didn't know weapons like he did so to her it was a knife. she looked at in it's sheath before she pushed off of the sink and moved to the island counter in the middle of the kitchen. "You know Mother doesn't give gifts for no reason." She took hold and pulled the blade from it's holding and set it down on top of the sheath on top of the counter. Looking over at him she looked back to the weapon and traced a finger along the rune at the bottom, closer to the hilt. "I assume you never learned various languages?" Had to ask, she didn't know. "Uruz, Kenaz, Algiz." she said as she pointed to each one. "These are pretty powerful depending on how you use it.. The first one, Uruz.. Is for physical strength, speed.. Untamed potential. I think it suits you. A shaping of power. Does she know about you and the Source?"

"I hinted at it, but it's a bit embarrassing. I learned some, the Old Tongue a little, and some of the languages of the people who live around these parts, but I'm unfamiliar with the runic language. And thank you, that's the nicest thing you've said to me lately." He smiled, looking to the blade itself. "She had it made especially for me, didn't she?"

"My guess would be yes, but the why is still lost on me. I don't even know why she gave me her necklace. ." except to reach her when she needed to, but she didn't say that much. instead she moved on to the next. "Kenaz. Harnessed power, fire of transformation and regeneration. Sounds like your Lycan ability to me. It also enables a person to open up to new strength energy and power.." She cleared her throat. "And sexual energy. Passion."

He nodded, not even considering speaking on that topic. A soft smile flickered briefly on his lips, though. "Sounds like it was custom-made with me in mind. Do you feel anything when you hold it?" He was intrigued by the properties of the dagger, and wanted to know more.

She gave a small shake of her head. "Only the power locked within the symbols. You know, Xavier. To Channel may be what you want but... these have power. You do have a spiritual energy. Your aura, and if you focus it into the symbols, you can gain what's locked in here. " looking up from it to him. "This is a man's weapon. What it's made of is for a male Channeler. Maybe if you learned to focus your energies this could help you have a trickle." then she looked back down. "Algiz. Protection, a shield. The protective urge to shelter oneself or others. Defense, warding off of evil, shield, guardian."

He nodded slowly, tilting his head. "You don't think Mom already knew, and was trying to help? Or maybe....warding off evil, protection...maybe it's meant to aid in ridding you of his influence. Honestly, it hadn't occurred to me to think it may be of the Power, but then, I'm a little less than well-versed when it comes to the One Power. I'd like to be more proficient...can I ask you something, Ryan?" He wasn't going to be a jerk again, his face showed that he was sincerely seeking an answer.

"Or maybe it is to help the ones you care about." That would make it pretty open and board and not narrow it down to any one person. "Maybe even Father." She was trying not to think about herself. As she was done with the runes she let her fingers linger on it as she was trying to put bit of power into it only to find that there was a block from female power. "Hmm.? She partially turned her head towards him. "What is it?"

He looked down, coloring slightly, and sighed. "How does it feel? Channeling, I mean. I've seen people, man and woman alike, do things with the Power that seemed impossible. I....well, I guess I'm jealous." After a moment, he simply looked back to her. "You're one that I care about, little sis. Dad has shown that he can take care of himself, and even though I know you're more than capable, there's still the factor of Benjamin to consider. Maybe the dagger could sever that tie without harming you...."

At that point she pushed the dagger away from her and wrapped her arms around herself,, hugging herself effectively as she turned away from him and took a few steps as well. "Do you remember your first time, Xavier?" she didn't know if he had any partners in the past. "With a person you really cared about. How that.. The I don't know.. passion, energies... the total feeling that you can't describe but it feels so good and it consumes you? Open your eyes and you feel like you never felt before?" She still wasn't looking at him and now she was biting her lip. "That's what it like when you grasp it. It's the most wondrous feeling." Her voice had gotten softer when she spoke. "As for him... I'm afraid to loose the bond...." It was a big thing for her to admit she was afraid of something.

He stepped over a little closer to her, speaking softly. "I have never known you to fear anything, Ryan. And...well, yes, I do remember my first time. It isn't hard to remember, considering it was both the most thrilling thing I have ever experienced, and because it wasn't very long ago. A week at the most." He smiled a bit, thinking back to that night. Catching himself, he looked her in the eye. "And you are SO not allowed to poke fun at me. Those frail things at court....I was afraid I'd hurt one of them if I even...well, you know. It isn't like there were none willing, it's just that I felt like I needed to wait." He took the dagger from her, holding it unsheathed in his left hand, and reached out with his right. "Take my hand, sis. You said it yourself, the runes give me protection, and Mother would not gift me with something that did not live up to her specifications. I think I know a little of what it's meant for now." His right hand was still out, and the look he gave her was one of both concern and love.

She looked quickly at him before looking back... at the wall. Yes, she had been looking at the wall and trying to focus on it, anything of it, to help her keep her cool. It had been a very emotionally trying past hours.. First at the bar, and now back here, her mind was in many places, especially with what she just told him about the Source. It made her miss someone and want for touch and now... There was her brother offering out his hand. Her eyes looked down to his hand and they stayed there a moment and her arms tightened about herself. "Don't ask me to take your hand...." she spoke softly still and if he looked close he could see the slight shaking of her head. Though she said it she started to reach out with her hand towards his. "I get scared too. I do have a heart."

"I know, Ryan. I know. Light knows we've both had our hearts broken too many times to count....raised by strangers, surrounded by sycophants who wanted to use us...all of those holidays spent alone. Not knowing where Mother was, not understanding why Dad left. We haven't had an easy life, but I swear things are going to get better now." He moved the short distance to her, taking her hand in his and pulling her into a monstrous big-brother hug. "We could still deal with things together, you know." This was whispered, since she was so close. "We always did make a bloody good team. Remember the old lady that did the baking at the palace in Cairhein? How many pies did we wind up stealing out from under her very prominent nose?" He had not, for the record, loosed his grip on the dagger, but held it with the blade away from her, concentrating on the runes engraved upon it. He felt a pull from the dagger, something familiar, yet alien.

Hold it together...hold it together. It was what she was telling herself because she wanted to believe that she could hold it together. But when he took her hand and pulled her in Ryanna held her breath and held it for as long as she could. She felt the warmth from him and he would defiantly feel the warmth coming from her. She was warmer than average like there was a fire burning inside of her, but Xavier kept talking and she could feel him there. Leaning in she placed her chin upon his shoulder and wasn't saying anything. Aside from the hand that he held she didn't reach to touch him further. Ryanna stayed her place a moment and then her head tipped down and her cheek rested against his shoulder instead. She even closed her eyes cause she knew that if she tired to say anything that she would most likely start to cry.

The bond between twins was something that had never been fully explored. He could feel things about her, and at such close range, he could almost hear her thoughts. Almost.....there was a lot he did not know about the woman she had become, but he would learn. He pressed a kiss on the top of her head, and smiled warmly, feeling as if he, too, would tear up at any moment. "I love ya, little sis. Don't ever forget that, okay? I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you. You didn't deserve harsh words from me, and that's all I've given you since I arrived here. But here's the thing. I'll always be your big brother, and no matter what, I'll always be right around the corner looking out for you." He released her hand then, and mussed her hair a little bit, playfully. He knew she hated that, but he's her brother, and it's in the job description! "As soon as I can, I'm going to speak with Mother. I owe her an apology as well, and I would also like to know more about the gift she gave me."