Seeking Equilibrium || Gawain & De'Ryanna

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

When she exited the Gateway, she would note that she was not within the Inn, but in the garden behind it. Gawain was seated on the ground, cross-legged and in the lotus position. His eyes were closed, but he was aware that Ryan had arrived. With a smile, he let the gateway disappear, and nodded. "Hello, daughter. I trust you are doing well? Good burger, by the way. I did not know you had such a gift for cooking."

"Oh. Madeline decided to go to the stables. Something about not wanting to sit in on another 'family meeting'. " He chuckled. "She said something to the affect that she had reservations about getting into trouble again so soon."

"It's all about the nose" she settled herself down out of the Gateway and gave a bit of a shake to her skirt. She was still wearing the apron from the kitchen.. It would have to do. She didn't take much of a look around her and she wanted to stay as focused as she could. "You can't actually cook poorly when you can smell like we can, now can you?" Asking him that question with a raise of her brow.

"I suppose not." Another smile. "Still, when the other side takes over, you tend to forget those things...along with table manners." He gave a slight chuckle at that, and continued. "I wanted a chance to speak with you one-on-one. Is this acceptable?"

Ryanna didn't move too much further, she was unsure on where to go and she was watching her father with a curious eye. A bit of a tip to her as she observed him. "I wouldn't know about all of that. Since I grew up not being able to change like you or my brother I adapted." She paused and shifted from one foot to the other slowly, keeping her gaze on him. "I can't say that I blame Madeline for wanting to be elsewhere. What's so important that we have to talk about that could not have waited for another day."

"You can sit down, Ryan. Trust me. As for what I wanted to speak with you about, it's simple. Control. I taught you to change, then I had to go. I apologize for this, but in my life, I have learned that it is a futile notion to dwell on the past. The here and now is what matters." He sighed. "You know...I've heard it said that the Wheel weaves as the Wheel will, but sometimes, I feel it does us all a disservice."

"To be quite blunt, I would like very much to be allowed to teach you. But I wish one thing from you." His eyes opened, and she would notice that they were not the burnished gold that they sometimes changed to, but a deep ocean green.

She almost snorted. Almost. It was at the motion of control. She thought that she had a great deal of control and would tell him as much. "You would assume that I have no control?" De'Ryanna didn't sit down but instead she took two steps to the right, the movement very fluid and together even as the skirt swished around her ankles. "Why do you assume such a thing? I'm not running off tearing everything apart now am I? Or raging like some wild and untamed animal." Here she paused and even lifted up her chin a tad as she looked at him. "I have control enough to have not shifted forms since that first night." Whether that was due to her own power or someone else’s she didn't say. She saw the look in his eyes but she didn't know what it meant. She hadn't been around him long enough for things like that.

"De'Ryanna. I wasn't around for your childhood. One day, should you become a parent yourself, you will understand how painful that is. I didn't assume that you were raging like a wild beast, but mark me, the change will come upon you, and I would see you prepared for it." He paused there, looking as if he had more to say. "Look, I've never told you, but Ryan, I love you. You are a part of me, as is Xavier and Madeline. I don't want this strife between us anymore. Light, can't you see that I'm trying? I missed part of your life, and burn me to ashes, I don't want to miss anything else. I've lived a long life, but I never truly lived until I knew the love of your mother. When we found that she was with child, I was happier than I had ever been. Do you understand? There hasn't been a day that passed that I didn't regret the way things happened. Not a one. Just....the hardest part is reaching out. I am doing so, and I hope that you will. At least a little. Do you have any idea what it does to me to know you hate me? You are blood of my blood, and you care less for me than some hay brained farmer." It took a lot for Gawain to open up like this, truth be told. He would not even bother, except for the fact that she was his daughter.

Did she ever say that she hated her father? She had strong feelings of dislike for how thing turned out in hr younger years, but it wasn't her fault and it wasn't there fault. It's just how life turned out to be. She shook her head. "I don't hate you. What strife are you talking about?" Still she didn't sit. He wasn't sitting and she thought it would be rude otherwise. "If there is any strife it's in the fact that you are trying to hard to make up for loss time. Which you can't. That's why it’s lost." Seemed logical to her and in her mind. Her eyes turned from him a moment as she walked off a few paces. "You want me to simply open up and pretend that nothing ever happened. Well it did I can't blame you or Mother for it. Both of you were always off somewhere, which is why we were fostered off in the first place." Not that she had minded too much. It was duty. It had to be done. "Everything isn't that simple. Instead of thinking that I'm trying to be some rebellious daughter, have you wondered why I won't do things? Or why I'm not out rightly begging to be taught?" She was keeping her hands to herself, folding her arms across her waist. When she looked at him again she saw he was sitting...but on the ground. She was not going to sit in the dirt.

"It is not in our nature to beg, De'Ryanna. I do not think of you as a rebellious daughter, but as someone who keeps their emotions bottled up for fear of losing control of them. That's the problem. I'm the same bloody way." He sighed, looking around the immediate area for something for her to sit on. Ah! He had a spare cloak in his knapsack, which he withdrew and spread out before her. "There you go. You know, I had all these ideas about how things would go when I saw you again, but it didn't occur to me that this would be the way of things. I cannot apologize again, but I will offer to try and make it up to you. If you would like, you can sit there. I hadn't thought of...well, you know me. I'm not the most careful planner in the world."

And she didn't know how he thought that this would go. "I'm still not even sure what you are trying to do here." It was the truth. If it weren’t then she wouldn’t be able to say it. "I'm not asking you to apologize for anything for there's no need. You should do. If we're here for a purpose then we should be about it. I'm not like your other daughter and I'm not like your son. I have my own way of dealing with things and it's to move forward. But I'm not going to sit down there and offer you my hand and simply open up to you like last time, because I can't."

"Can't, or won't? Listen, Ryan, I'm here to stay. I knew there was a chance that I would be taken away last time, but Light help me, nothing will drag me away again." He paused, rising. "I see you're incredulous of this. Very well. " He locked his hands together, as if in prayer, then, seizing Saidin, wove complex weaves of Spirit. "I, Gawain Cauthon, do swear to not abandon those I love again. Not my children, not my wife, not even my friends. I swear this under the Light, and by my hope for salvation and rebirth." He released Saidin reluctantly, savoring the last few moments of the rush that accompanied it, and sighed. "I cannot go back on this, De'Ryanna. You know, having sworn on the Oath Rod, that this is an Oath that binds deeper than any." With that, he resumed his seated position, and looked up, directly into her eyes. "I only ask for a chance. That is all."

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

What...was he doing? After his first set of words, asking if she can't or won't Ryanna had something to say. It was on the tip of her tongue and just about ready to come out and say something when she felt and heard what he was doing. Since he was a male Channeler she couldn't see his weaves (though it worked the other way around) but she felt the power of them and that is what caused her to stop. Oh how she wished she knew how to make one of those Weaves. a Binding weave for Oaths and the like, though if she had she would have made a few on certain people. This.. was not something to take lightly for once you swore something like that only death , or a very painful process, could remove it. And then you would have wished for death. Ryan looked away, down at the ground, and then she looked at him and gave a small sigh. "All right Father. Since you are more stubborn than I, I suppose giving you a chance is the only thing I can do. But hear me when I say that I can't do some things easily. It's not that I won't. " even if that was a part of it. "I can't. Not easily."

He noticed the way she was looking at him, and smiled. "So, you understand that I cannot go back on my word." Nodding, he continued. "I could Delve you, find out what's wrong, but without consent, it would make me no better than that jerk Taim. Oh, Light, you have NO idea how many times I wanted to set his arse on fire....but that's a completely different conversation, and one for another time." He settled down a bit, and smiled. "I taught you how to draw the beast out, but not to control it once it was out. That was a great disservice to you, and as I have apologized once, I will not do so again. However, I can explain a few things that may help you to use the form as a gift. That is, if you are willing to learn." Why did he, all of a sudden, feel like Cadsuane was looking over his shoulder? The woman had an iron hand, and an even harder tongue.

"I have learned how to keep it at bay, mostly, since it was set free." She was looking at him with a bit of a cautious eye because he had mentioned Delving. She didn't know what he would find if he did so. True she was okay physically, she wouldn't find that she had any broken bones or anything like that, it was a wonder if the Delving could see other things. Non physical things. "To a point as I have not shifted since. He didn't want me to shift." The 'He' was Benjamin, but she wasn't going to say his name. "And after you left the Lycan kept trying to come out until he gave me something that restrained it. I suppose that's a way to put it." It was how she was putting it anyway because it was true. "His way of teaching me to not be controlled be the raging emotions inside my head." Without Gawain there Ben had stepped in to 'train' her in the way he wanted her to be trained. and she couldn't simply say no.

Gawain growled, shook his head, and sighed. "I suppose I should have seen that coming a mile away. He is an opportunistic, arrogant....burn me. It's my fault, isn't it." That wasn't a question, but an admission. "Look, it's not a bad thing....it's actually useful, once you learn control. However, I hadn't thought about how the Tower teaches to keep emotions bottled up behind a cool facade, so there is another failing on my part. I would like to make this right, but I need your permission. You may, if you agree to it, benefit from this in more ways than one." Yes, he had a few ideas swirling in his head. Benjamin had gotten his hooks in, but they weren't in so deep that they couldn't be removed.

Ryanna looked down at the coat he had put out on the ground for her and studied it a moment. If she was going to try to come to some sort of agreement with her Father the least she could do was lower herself on the ground. Looking at it she tightened her jaw before stepping over. Standing on it she bent down, shaking her skirt around her so it belled out. She didn't sit; rather she stayed positioned on the ball of her feet and steady. At least she was making the effort? 'I cannot give you permission if i don't know what it's for." If he said it, then she missed it.

"It's quite simple, and at the same time, complicated. You see, you have built walls around your ability, much like the Wilders that the Tower claims, and those walls must come down if you are to learn." He chuckled a bit, shaking his head. "I'm not going to get all Kung-Fu Master on you, nor am I going to force anything. I just want to teach you the way I was taught. That's an interesting story...would you care to hear it?"

Ryanna lifted her chin. Not too much but just enough. "The thing you should realize, Father, is that practically anything that I do that involves emotion is tied to him. He can feel it, he can sense it, he can use me by it. He can even make me feel any way that he wants me to feel if he wants to." She folded her hands on her lap. "Much like the way the Warder bond works. It's the same as that. You can feel the others emotions... sense them. You won't just be teaching me, but you'll be teaching him if he's choosing to listen in at the moment and if I were to do something like that.....let down the path to that side..." that was when she trailed off, but her eyes kept looking at Gawain. "He will know what I'm doing and pay attention. Whether he is already or not." She had no way of knowing when he was or not unless he did something to her.

That gave Gawain pause. "He can force you to do things?" Of course, a father's mind went to dark places when something like that was said. Still, shaking it off, he continued. "Let him listen. Let him come, if he dares. I swore over your crib that I would protect you, and Light knows I've done a piss-poor job so far. Let me do so now. Take my hand. You'll find that there is no way he can penetrate my mind, or my soul. You see....my soul already has another owner. One of the perks of the trade, or drawbacks, depending on the way you look at it. Come. Embrace the Source, and link with me. We have things to do."
He stopped, shaking his head. "I assume you already know how to link with a male Channeler. You've already proven to be quite gifted."

Right then she tensed, when he asked her to take his hand, and she did not move either forward or back but stayed where she was. Her eyes looked down to his hands and then back up to him. "What is it that we would be doing that I am needing to take your hand? Despite your words I am cautious about taking your hand. There's more to learn from a person - soul or not - and I’m not trusting of it enough to link. What will you be pulling from me." For that's what happened when a link was made, the other used the power and energy from the ones linked to make their own ability stronger. She wasn't too sure about having to men of power running around inside her system unless it was needed.

"No, no, you misunderstand. You will be directing the flows. I will be lending you the measure of my power. Not to brag, but when I was tested, Logain remarked that he was almost jealous. I have an affinity for Fire and Spirit, the latter of which made me the butt of many jokes in the Black Tower. 'Hey, Gay-wain, why don't you go find a nice white dress?' Of course, the one that said that just now went back on a solid diet. Having your jaw wired shut limits your diet."

"Would it make you feel any better if we didn't physically touch? Linking can be done without contact, it's just easier that way."

Her hands on her lap flexed slightly but she stayed still aside from that. "What is the linking for? You want to give me extra power so that I can learn to control power? Feed me energy? That is the part that I am not understanding. The why or the what that we are about to do. I rarely bound into something before I know the reasoning behind it." Rarely. She did on occasion and when she did she did things that caused her to nearly bleed to death...

"The linking will give you power. I am strong, not to be a braggart, and I feel that if we work together, we can, if not sever, at least loosen Benjamin's hold on you." He nodded, reaching into his coat pocket and withdrawing two objects. One was a jade statuette of a portly man, seated and with a sword resting on his knees, and the other was an ivory-carved woman with a flared skirt, holding an amber rod. "These will come in handy, and since I cannot use the woman, being as it is attuned to the female half, I think it would be safer in your hands."

That caused her to move, and move backwards and rise up a bit on her feet. "You said you wanted to teach me tricks and control, not that you wanted to tamper with the bond. Do you know, well of course you do." She assumed he did anyway, "what tampering with the bond can do to the people attached to it? The Danger you'd be putting me in if you tried to sever it or just 'loosen' it. Be-- He is as much a part of me as my own skin and blood." maybe it was a bit of panic. "How would you separate me from myself?"

"De'Ryanna, have you forgotten the night at the cliffs?" He spoke softly, and without any anger. "I won't lie to you. It will cause pain, hopefully more for him than for you, but in the end, it will work. Of course, if you would allow it, I could simply lure him out and burn him out of the Pattern. A weave strong enough would erase the changes he foisted upon you."

She only looked at her father a moment or two before she began to slowly shake her head. "That's your answer to everything isn't it. Father." Ryanna had almost said his first name but caught herself. "Take it and destroy it. What type of child do you think he is that you could simply lure him anywhere. He goes where he wants to go and does what he wants. He doesn't simply call when just anyone calls him." Didn't mean that he wouldn't when certain people called. But it couldn't be just anyone. "I highly doubt there isn't anything, besides killing me, that could make him come to you n a physical substantial form." He'd send his voice, or an image, but to get a physical man was another matter. "He has many ways about him that I don't even know and unless he's removed from me if you kill him you would kill me.."

That caused Gawain's eyes to squeeze shut. "De'Ryanna. That is not my answer for everything! Light, I had no idea he had....never mind. I won't even think of that. Instead, I suggest you take this. If you Ward yourself before you sleep, and keep it close, under your pillow, for example, then tie the weave off, he at least won't be able to invade your dreams. Ryan, I've fought the Forsaken and managed to get out of the fray with my skin intact. He cannot be even close to as powerful as they. You've heard the stories of the Forsaken. They aren't exaggerations. In fact, sometimes they're understatements. I just want to help. That is all. Whether you want to be free of the man, or to be able to control your Lycan form and retain your right mind, I ask you to please let me help. Use my knowledge, my experience, and my skill."

]y do you think that he cannot be as powerful as they are?" It was a simple question. "You're underestimating him." She wanted to turn or... move and do something more visible with her hands besides the slight picking at her apron that she was doing now. It was something so she couldn't complain all too much. "If getting rid of him was that easy... do you honestly think he would still be with me now? That Mother wouldn't have done something of him years ago when he first claimed me? " She didn't know the story behind what her Mother did, or didn't due in the issue of Benjamin. Sometimes.. sometimes in a fleeting thought she wondered if she had a hand in it all. Still..she was chancy about taking the item but she held out her hand anyway.

He handed the figurine over to her, and nodded. "Be careful. It's not a sa'angreal, but it is one of the stronger ones I've come across. As for knowing he isn't as powerful as the Forsaken, it's simple. They aren't cowardly. Stupid, yes, Light-blind fools, and jealous of others with power, but not cowardly. If he were not a coward, he would not use disembodied voices and spectral images. He would appear in the flesh. There is something we can do, if I have to bring half of my friends from the Tower to do it. Something." Anything, he added mentally. At last, he hit upon an idea. It was risky, but it was also worth a shot. "Ryanna. You said he could sense things about you, correct?"

De'Ryanna laughed. She took the figurine and rose to her feet in a single motion and laughed a short and semi-musical burst. "Then you're a fool Father. Either a fool or you're arrogant. Thinking he's a coward simply for not showing. " the standing was helping. She needed to stand. "I wouldn't waste my time by gracing those I didn't deem worthy with my presence either if I had the liberty not to." She saw Benjamin's action to be the same way. He wasn't going to give those he didn't feel deserving of the courtesy to have his full presence. But then again, he was that arrogant. "To answer your question.. yes. Yes he can." Looking at her newly acquired item as she spook.

He rose quickly, closing the distance between them in a blur. He kept his hands to himself, but only just. "The last person to name me fool had to be carried out. In pieces. Have a care. I am your father, De'Ryanna, but I am also not one to be trifled with. Beneath his notice? Hah! He's afraid. Too wrapped up in his 'oh, look at me, I can do stuff with my mind' facade to come and face someone without a human shield!"

"You know what? I'm wasting my time. I thought that if we talked things over, maybe you'd come around. Perhaps I was wrong, and you enjoy being Benjamin's plaything." He spat that last bit, clearly either angered or hurt by her off-hand comments.

"Before you decide to spout off at the mouth, Father, about whatever you think is going on between he and I you have some knowledge in what you speak." her tone was still calm. "If I were him." and she may as well be "I wouldn't bother to face you either because I'd have no reason. You have to change your way of thinking if you ever want to have a chance at him. He's not like the others you've meet in your time and years. Fight him with cool-headed logic and reasoning instead of brute force and whatever you concoct together of a plan might work. He needs reason and simply seeing you or engaging in ego's isn't enough." She knew it wasn't enough because she was thinking of herself, when she did that she often found it to be similar to how he would think. It worked that way, maybe because of their connection. She didn't move from Gawain even though he was close, he'd even see that his Daughter had a challenging look in her eye as she kept hers locked on him. The rest of her face was emotionless.

He moved closer, almost allowing his nose to touch hers. "You don't have the guts, little girl. I see that look in your eyes, and you don't frighten me a bit. What, are you late for a rendezvous with your beau?" He drew back, laughing in a mocking manner. "My mistake. I thought you were made of sterner stuff."

"Don't have the guts for what?" That was the question wasn't it? To have Benjamin come or to shift, something was being lost in translation. Her head would have canted to the side if she were not keeping with her appearance of calm instead of turning it into curiosity. "To learn control? Yes, I see you're doing a grand job of demonstrating it right now." He was a man and he was probably still holding on to the Source. It made sense if he was slipping a bit into madness. As for the remark about Tobias, she knew she wasn't late for anything so there was no need to respond.

Gawain had not released the Power, true, and he stood his ground, the carved angreal still in his hand. "I am in complete control, girl. The fact that you are not on your ass is a testament to that." Would he do so? Of course not, but she might not know that. His attempts at angering her were getting him nowhere, so he switched tactics. "You know, I've heard that it's a disgrace to be put out of the Tower for being under-powered. How long did it take them to give you the boot? They taught you to not show emotions, so I have no idea just how badly that stung your little ego."

With that, he slammed a shield between her and the Source, then, seemingly without a bit of logic, wove Air, binding her arms and flipping her to hang by her ankles. "Go ahead, break free. I dare you!"

The shield went up only for it to come undone like knife cutting through fabric mere seconds after it was done. It was quick enough to prevent her skirt from falling up completely around her waist in the attempt to turn her upside down. But the thing here to really note was that the Source used to cut this Weave was not her own. A female cutting a man's Weave wasn't unheard of, but it wasn't always the easiest thing to do for they couldn't see the threads to cut so it was more like cutting blind. No. What cut it, was a man’s power, and it was dark, and tainted and wasn't even a fraction of ability, but it was strong enough to make her right again. "Insults. You really must not know me. If you're going to insult me then so do with something that's real and not anything that will clearly mark you as a liar." If she had gotten kicked out she wouldn't have the ring. Aside from that, they'd never kick out someone as strong as she was. But what Ryanna did not like out of all of this was the burning feeling inside of her body when that side of the Source had been Channeled through and she felt queasy, her hands flexed at her side. "So go on and be childish. I've had enough of that sort in Court. "

He had felt the oily taint, reaching out of nowhere to sever his weavings. "Light. Not since the Taint was cleansed have I felt so....dirty." He shuddered, clearly unnerved. "Ryan, I only wanted you to show some emotion. Something. ANYthing. Keeping your other side bottled up is only going to make things worse. It isn't a housepet to be kept on a chain, it is a wild thing, but a thing that can be controlled. If you think me childish, so be it. But I will not sit idly by and watch you be destroyed."

"What do you want me to show? Anger? Aggression? Mournful regret and spite?" Spoken as her hands closed together. “After that day I had my first change Benjamin felt all the rising anger within me and believed that it would drive me insane." Yes, she had that man's name and it was stressed in three different places and had a slight roll on her tongue. "He put a thin silver chain around my bare waist that had not beginning nor end and I couldn't remove. Whenever I'd get past a certain level of anger and the ache of the shift came about, that chain would burn into my skin hotter than any fire I've ever known and would continue until I brought my temper back down. Control your temper, he'd say, don't be eaten alive by your emotion, he'd say." There was only a slight rise in her voice but it was more cold than hot. "Even with the healing ability I have from being a Lycan the scars wouldn't heal. Not as long as I wore it around me. I had to wear it and endure the pain and effects of that Light forsaken chain for three months. So pardon me, Father, if I don't get hot headed and fly off the handle and shift because you want to fling about insults to make me mad. If anything I learned from those months is that that shifting cannot happen in anger and blind rage."

[Gawain]

Gawain was experiencing something he was entirely unaccustomed to. He was failing, and miserably. So, he drew on what he remembered of being a lonely, conflicted young man and closed the distance between them. In an act of something between recklessness and bull-headedness, he wrapped his arms around his daughter, pulling her close to him. "I love you, De'Ryanna. I have loved you since the moment you sprang forth from your mother, whom I also love almost to the point of mindless adoration. I will never let you go, so please....don't struggle. You are safe. You belong to no one save yourself, and the one who you choose to share your life with. There is always a choice. Always." He spoke softly, as befitting one speaking to a beloved daughter, and while he was not crushing her, the tension of the hug he was sharing with her would not and could not be lessened.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

If he could hear heartbeats he would hear that under her quasi-calm exterior her heart was pumping a mile a minute, like a frightened rabbit, when he took that first step towards her. She wasn't fearful of what he may do to her for what she said - Ryanna figured she could handle that - but it was a fear that he was going to touch her and she didn't know what would happen because of it.

She had told him what could happen if he touched her and yet he said it was nothing to worry about and gave a bit of his reasons. But she didn't believe it. How could she believe it? Better still, how could she believe that he would want to touch her in any way that was comforting knowing what was in her. There was only one person who had a want to touch her (besides Benjamin) and after her Father had spoken to her....but here he was saying that he loved her and getting closer. Pride made her stand her ground and not move like the frightened rabbit she was on the inside. But she cringed. Cringed and tensed when she felt his arm go around her and when she tried to pull away and found no give, that was when she started to panic.

"Let me go." De'Ryanna started pushing back on him as hard as she could. He could see strain along her shoulders and arms. "You don't know what you're doing. Father, let me go! Please!"

Panic started into her voice and now not only was she using her hands but she was trying to kick him, anything to get him to let her go. Whatever hold she had on her side of the Source was gone but that feeling in her body was still there from the breaking of Gawain's shield that happened moments ago.

"He'll find out about you, let me go! Let me go!" Perhaps it was because she cared about her father, in some way, as to why she was wanting to be free. She had gone all those years without touch and now here was another person who still wanted to touch her and wasn't afraid to do so. It was a cracking her walls.

[Gawain]

Gawain, as it turned out, knew exactly what he was doing. "Hush, child. This thing has gone on between us for far too long. Don't be afraid, okay? Your old man knows what he's doing, and it's about time I started getting some things right." His tone was soothing, low, and non-threatening. All the anger of earlier? It was a facade, meant to search for cracks in that blasted Tower-bred calm. He thought idly to himself that if the Black Tower had taught calm in this manner, maybe things would have ended better. No time for that now, he was, as he held his daughter, showing her that he meant no harm. He had, it seemed, even released the Source. However, there were ways taught to him to mask that little fact from anyone, male, female, or Forsaken. How better to dupe your enemies than by learning the trick directly from them?

After many moments had passed, he pulled back just far enough to look her in the eye. "Do you understand now that I would do anything for you?" He hadn't loosened his grip much, but he did see the look in her eyes. "Now, if I release you, are you going to leave in any way, shape, or form? I ask specifically because after being duped by Cadsuane with that same exact question, I've learned a thing or two." One of those things being how you should never, ever underestimate the strength of an arm because of the head of white hair attached to it.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

If things had gone on 'far too long' between them was probably a matter of debate as each person had their own feelings about time. If De'Ryannna had been in a less panicked state of mind she would have question it well as asked what 'this thing' specifically was because right now it could be a number of things. Surely he didn't mean their dislike of each other because by his own words he had never not liked her. His voice may have been soothing but it should have been strong and aggressive to drive home the point in a mind that was racing through different possibilities of a "what if" situation.

Internally De'Ryanna was growing hot, her temperature rising the longer Gawain continued to hold on to her and would soon intensify to a level that could be felt by others. If her father was able to feel heat then holding on to his daughter would be synonymous to holding a stoked fire. One that was starting to prick and crawl over his skin and picking at his emotions as small sparks along his skin. Gawain had been displaying a lot of them. She knew what was going on and it was causing her to put weight against her push for a more concentrated effort instead of merely failing about. Her heartbeat was still quick and hard swallows were needed to ensure that got the breath she needed. She felt Gawain's hold and she felt the other's pull.

Calm down, it was telling her as her own emotions were being worked on to that degree. This unseen hand was pulling at the peace that had been buried by panic and was pulling it to the surface. This was going on at the same time Gawain started to loosen his hold. De'Ryanna's breath started to normalize and the pushing started to cease and her temperature pan out. She knew what was happening - or rather, what wasn't happening - and the question on her mind was 'why'.

That question came with other questions that would have to be examined at another time. Ryanna had a slightly distant look in her eyes when her father asked her if she was going to leave. To answer honestly she said: "I will back out of your arms reach."

[Gawain]

Gawain smiled slightly...she was a Sister, no doubt, to her bones. "You sound like your mother, always trying to trick the block-headed lunk.....very well. Even though we both know that, if I wish, I can easily catch you." After all this, he was not willing to take several steps backwards. "Maybe we could try this talking thing again. I hear all the young people are doing it these days...." He began to release her, slowly, stopping a moment to hold her shoulders as he looked her straight in her eyes. "Hey. Don't forget what I just told you...alright?" He leaned closer, whispering to her in a language that had been lost since before most of them were born, then placed a small kiss on her brow.

After that was accomplished, he stepped back, nodded, and took hold of the Power once more. It was getting dark, and in this form, his night-vision was getting kind of bad these days. "Just consider it, De'Ryanna. Alright?"

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

De'Ryanna cringed internally, but it was a toss up as to whether she did so because of the kiss to the forehead, or because he compared her to her mother. The latter wasn't necessarily a bad thing, simply something she didn't want to be. She wanted to be her own person and not sounding like another. Any unsettling feeling she had was quickly being squelched as she didn't want to think on it for very long.

As soon as he let her go she did just what she said she was going to do: move out of arms reach. She didn't dispute his statement about catching her because he probably could if he put his attention to doing so, instead she accepted it with a nod of her head. Out of reach for the moment, she brushed her hands down her skirt to settle herself and gave shake of her shoulders as she lifted her chin slightly in the air - it was her way of regaining her composure after her small act of desperation. "Congratulations to the 'young people' for doing something together besides gossip and sex." Sense of lack of regard for the 'young people' in her words, she made them sound almost an annoyance.

Fortunately she was well versed in the Old Tongue so his whispered words did not fall on death ears, but that didn't create enough impact to make her renege on her previous statement.

"You should realize, Father, that I'm not a tiny child anymore." Was how she would answer his request. "We may have the same blood in our veins but you were absent too much for me to see you as much of a father and I'm too old now for you to treat me like the little girl I once was or to expect those type of actions from me." She paused as she looked at him. "Eventually this may change but we can start by giving each other what is due to a man and a woman. And we will learn, and become friends - if that's how it works itself out. After all, isn't that what family is? People connected together through a common bond that's not necessarily blood?"

"Relationships take time."

[Gawain]

Gawain listened silently, smiling politely. He would take whatever she threw at him....but he didn't expect that. Her comment about young people, gossip, and sex took him by surprise, and he laughed despite himself. "Oh, sorry. It's just that that is the closest I have heard you come to a joke since..well, ever. Yes, I know you are no longer a child, and I missed out on a great deal. Fortunately for us, we have plenty of time to get things right." He grinned, turning as if to head back to the inn.

"Hm. Something....ah!" He placed his hands on his temples, as if he had come down with a headache. "Blood and ashes, but that never gets any easier! Remind me sometime that I have GOT to get Air to teach me that trick of closing my mind....those random bursts of psi-messages are gonna give me an aneurysm before I live to see my pelt turn grey!" He channeled, forming a Gateway in front of him. "I'll see you back at the inn. As you said, you are not a child, so I won't insult you by offering to walk you home." He turned to her then, winked, and departed through the gateway.

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