A Doctor's Advice (a log)

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

( well, I put this here because they are talking in Asgard... but if I'm wrong it can be moved! )

It had been quite a while since Ryan had blacked out when Lenneth took over, and even a bit longer since Donald got pushed aside for Thor, but, the good thing about all of that was, that Ryan was alive and fairing much better off after being returned to her body. and while she was currently passed out, Donald was fully awake, kicking his legs over the ledge of the floating city they where currently in. waiting for her to wake up.

As it happened whenever Lenneth took over De'Ryanna didn't remember anything, infact, most of that particular night was a bit of a blur. She lay there not too far from Donald, her eyes shifting back, forth, and all around under closed eyelids as her mind played fragments of images that took place. Her body felt better. A lot better, and she moved her hands cautiously to her stomach as her eyes drifted open. "Don... ald?" she asked softly, seeing that they were in a different location than she remember falling asleep in.

"I'm here. how're you feeling? "Donald looked up from where he was gazing offering her a small smile. reaching behind himself to grab a bowl with a small loaf of bread and what looked like stew. " Are you hungry?

Hearing that he was there gave a bit of comfort and she rolled on her side before using her elbow to help her rise to sitting. "I'm okay. Physically. Thank you for your help." She was speaking slowly and just a bit soft. Looking at the cloud embankment she had an idea where they were. "I was bad off, wasn't I? She tipped her head from side to side while she indicated around her with a hand. "Because we're in Asgard?" Or close enough to it she thought.

"You're welcome, but really you should thank Lenneth, she is really the reason you're still here." he leaned over and set the stew down in front of her. "I haven’t had to field staple anyone in a long while. I was a little afraid there for a while

"Afraid?" Looking at him sideways now with one eyebrow raised as she reached out for the stew he placed in front of her. "You will make me think twice before lifting my shirt to see if there are any marks or if they are still .... there." That was a curiosity. She felt better, but where the staples still there? "On the plus side of it, at least you had a chance to freshen up on old skills." Her voice was lacking the usually 'umph" it normally had. She was very humbled at the moment. Taking up the utensil she stirred her stew. "I haven't been giving her, her time. I know that. Perhaps doing so will be a way to thank her. Thank Thor for me too if you would."

"Well yeah, with three deep gashes in your stomach, its something to be afraid of there De'Ryanna. "And then her comment about brushing up on old skills." yeah, some skills I kind of hoped would rust over you know? not the nicest thing to do to someone. stapling their stomach." kicking his legs a bit more before speaking up again. "Yeah, that was really the crux of their conversation."

She looked down at the stew and took a bite, letting it move around and settle in her mouth before swallowing it down. Even then she was quite for a bit more, her gaze intent in her bowl as she tried to remember the things that were just out of reach. "I don't forgetting things." she said suddenly.. "I don't like.. not knowing what's going on. And, and not having full control of myself and... " her eyes narrowed more a she shifted in her spot. "And having to put trust into others. It all makes me feel so vulnerable."

He shook his head and then gave an awkward smile. "Nobody does De'Ryanna, People are naturally afraid of putting faith in others, not knowing what happens when they take a leap...I don’t like it either...but that’s called the human condition, and its a part of life. you cant just wall yourself off."

"Why not?" She looked at him with a tilt of her head, the stew bowl held securely in her lap. "Or at the very least go back to not having to associate with people in the everyday and working with people. I'm not any good at this. This social interaction. I push Lenneth away and she lives inside of me. How bad is that?" Ryan went back to her stew, stirring it around before eating another spoon.

"Well, its pretty bad there De'Ryanna... but tell me, if you want to wall yourself off so much. why do you want to work at the welcome desk at an inn?" he had his stew earlier. and it was damn good for him so he really didnt need to ask. "You know, you don’t have to be a social butterfly. but to completely shut yourself off... makes you easy prey for someone who would wish you harm"

Because she was eating she didn't answer. And that was her excuse for not answering a moment later either when she put another spoonful in hr mouth. She was hungry. After a fight like she had, and all the blood loss and then recovery... De'Ryanna could eat a whole pot by herself and it was taking effort to do the proper and ladylike thing and eat bit by bit. "I admit that part of it was for control." Squaring back her shoulders and lifting her head as she cleared her throat. "The other reason was to force me into interactions. It's not a lot of interacting. But doing that and.. helping Armandeus at the bar it.. caused me to have to pay attention to people. Listen and help. I don't.. didn't hang around people and now any that I would probably won't hang around me anyway. Yes. Well I guess that solves the social interaction problem now doesn't it."

“See, that’s your point of failure De'Ryanna... you don’t want to hang out with people. yet you force yourself to... and you're giving up on the people you said would hang out with you, without even going to bat for that friendship... and then you test yourself with fights and you almost die in the process... why? if you want to live a life, why are you so willing to throw it away?"

"Because until this.. this.. devil of a man let's me live my life and I don't have to worry about what will happen to them, if they'll be okay I can't even begin to try and live a normal life." she shook her head. "I don't even know what that is.. The normal life. I see it. Sometimes.. at times I think I have a chance for it or a semblance of it, but then it all ." she made a wiping motion with her hands. No words just her way of saying that in the end it all vanishes.

"real quick... just a moment, do me a favor, do you know where we are? and if so, do you know who lives here?" feigning ignorance for a moment, but its what she said about a devil of a man preventing her from living that made him outburst like he did." because you have an entire city of people, as well as one within you. that would die to protect you, yet you let a single man... govern how it is you live your life?"

"I don't mean any offense to the Asgardians." Said with a bow of her head. She didn't. "They are new to me. He isn't." As she thought about it she let her spoon rest against the side of her bowl. "Ways of being that have been engrained in you at a very young age are often hard to change. I admit that I have a fear of what might happen. Maybe not to myself, but the others that would be hurt in the process."

"That is true, as to both points you made there. but it stands as true for the Asgardians as well. You're one of us, and that you're putting yourself through these ringers and endangering yourself for spite, they don’t take too kindly to it... as for this guy, I'm not his biggest fan either... but he really hasn’t wronged us yet, and Asgard is a rather xenophobic culture

Ryanna shook her head. The stew bowl in her hand she simply lifted it up to her mouth. She was about to be very unlady like as she drunk the rest of the juice in the bowl, pausing here and there as she took in a chunk of food and spared a moment to chew before continuing. Probably not the best thing to do after having operation on the stomach but . . . When she was done she put the bowl down. "So what does that mean? That I'm stuck in my same predicament unless I can somehow get him to do wrong against Asgard? And then they will be able to deal with him? "

No, you're not stuck... because Thor wasn’t lying when he said that he may be able to free you... from what i know of him, I think he's too smart to outwardly strike against Asgard. Self Preservation overrides ego in most instances... but I could be wrong, I don’t know... " Truth be told any information that Donald had about Benjamin was second hand, as he'd only ever seen the man one time maybe two. and he did get two conflicting stories of him, from the people he knew... but that didn’t mean Donald didn’t still dislike him. Maybe Donald himself should pay a visit to this guy's cave, and call him out for a man to man chat. Pris was away now, and free from any potential backlash a meeting could cause.

"He wouldn't." conflicting stories in deed. Pris may like the guy whereas Ryanna believed that she wanted nothing to do with him. "Tell me how you do it Donald." Taking a deep breath and looking into her now empty bowl wishing there were more in it. "Tell me how you repair relationships when pride and arrogance, self-righteousness I suppose... gets in the way." She would ask him because she didn't trust enough to ask another.

"Well, my unending charms tend to help." Donald said with a smile for a second before allowing it to fade. "An amazingly wise woman once said, 'someone's got to give for growth to happen'. and what I took that to mean is that, someone has to take the hit to their pride and ego in order to move forward.... Me, I'm a member of doctors without borders, I've seen alot of really messed up stuff in my time doing that... It helped me see, that you cant dwell in the now, where you're right and wont budge upon your principals because of ego or pride... but you have to preserve those around you, and in doing so, put your own things aside, for the sake of their pride or ego... because god knows that there will come a time when they will do the same for you. Point is... someone has to be the first to break down, suck it up and repair that bridge.

Studying him for a moment, her eyes openly examining him and taking in his appearance and demeanor. "You do have charm Donald. It must have driven Tyger crazy." suddenly remembering the cat back home. "I'm not any good at apologies either. I always thought that they were much more effective when physical contact was involved. Works well from what I've observed. Still. " She offered Donald the bowl, keeping her hand to one side to avoid contact when he took it. "I will think of something. At least then if I cannot get them back. I can ... start over."

"I don’t think he likes me very much... and I know he doesn’t like Thor... but then again Thor is about as charming as a porcupine..." a small chuckle as he reached over and took the bowl, setting it down on the other side of his body. "well apologies suck De'Ryanna no one is good at them, I don’t care what they say... as for starting over, I'm going to say no... instead you're going to go fight to get your friends back. no matter what

Now she laughed and it sounded real with the musical undertone in it. Though it was brief it was there and it was in response to his statement about Thor. To her that was funny and the small smile remained as she listened to the rest that he had to say. "Some people are not the easiest to make up to. I guess for them I will have to employ other means of changing their mind. Life threats work nicely to get results." Perhaps she was joking about that too.