Visiting Derick

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

Azlin slipped down the halls, until she got the right vibe of energy from one of the doors. Before she knocked upon the door she would lift her hand slowly, placing it on the door it self. Deciding she had the correct door, she would lift her hand from the door and proceed to knock upon it.

When she had ran into him the other night, she figured that they should talk, it had been quite a long time since they had saw each other last. And she had to run off so quickly they hadn't had time to catch up.

She was wearing her normal white flowing gown, that hung to the top of her feet. Those feet were bare, a anklet that jingle-jangled was wrapped around her left ankle. Her long locks of silver and gold were hanging loosely around her. Baby blues filled with curiosity.

[Derick Silverleaf]

Hearing the knock a curious brow would arc. He would be sitting against the window sill, looking out to the land that surrounded the Inn. He of course was lost in his thoughts before he was pulled back into reality with that knock. Standing, he would begin to walk to the door. Wearing his usual leathers and a soft green shirt, he made his way to the door before it was opened.

Once that door opened, crystal blues fell upon Azlin. Instantly, eyes once again went a bit wide. It was the second time seeing her, and this time it seemed she was more.....real. He was stunned. Seeing her standing there brought back the memory of when she would come to his door those few years ago. He would though try to speak, words turing out to be a bit difficult to form.

"Az....Azlin. Um...Hi. I....I didn't think I would be seeing you. I mean....I...wasn't even sure I saw you the other night. Um...."

And so, that was that. He trailed off a bit, his mind still trying to wrap around the fact that she was standing in front of him...again.

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

Az was indeed in the flesh standing at Dericks door. Poor guy if he thought she wasn't real for she was really real, flesh and all that! She had a small urge to tap him on the back to see if it would help the words come out, but she didn't. Nope she just stood there a moment to let him get out his words, it was sort of endearing, in that odd way.

Her head tilting just a moment at his words before righting itself. After he finished she would speak softly, "'ello Derick. Why did you not think you would see me when we both reside in the same inn?" Of course she could very easily make it so he didn't see her. "I pinched you! Didn't I?" She was looking as if she was going to have to pinch him once more!

[Derick Silverleaf]

Those blues would still look to her in disbelief. Even as she spoke, he would be looking to her lips, as if trying to see and make sense of the words coming out. A hand would come up to brush back a few stray locks of hair from his vision.

"No, I don't think that will be needed. But.....why did you leave so suddenly? I...I thought you were just leaving to....avoid anything."

That shy look came across face, eyes slowly moving down to the ground as he spoke. She still wore what she always did. Still looked just as he remembered.

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

She grinned, "Are you sure?" Lifts up her fingers all ready to pinch if need be! And then at his words her baby blues would blink a bit, her head shaking. "Oh no! I was suppose to be at the Tavern with some friends, and I was running late! I was just making an appearance here to see what I could see! And then you showed up, when I was on my way out. I'm sorry you felt that way!"

She hadn't meant to make him feel that way, she was used to fluttering in and out and everywhere in between! It's what she did anymore. No strings to hold her down, no one to check in with, just coming and going as she pleased.

[Derick Silverleaf]

Blues would watch as she spoke. And in the end, he would be nodding slowly as her words came, and actually made sense. Head would tilt slightly to the side as a small smile of relief would be made. "Oh, well...that makes sense then. Um...I just thought that you were.... I don't know. Nevermind. Um..did you wanna come in? I mean, you don't have to but, you could...if you want?"

Oh yes, typical problematic Derick. Those words always stammering as heartbeat rose and nerves rushed. Of course....it was nearly a constant around her. She had that effect on men...or at least him. Eyes just watched as she would make the decision; stay with the awkwardness in the hall, or risk the emotions in the room? Hmmm....

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

She looked at him, "That I was running away?" She was curious if he thought that. She hadn't been, but perhaps she should of! She would give a slight shrug of her shoulders, "Are you sure I am not disrupting anything?" She wasn't here to be disruptive just letting him know that she was real and that he had a good chance of running into her at the inn. Because she wasn't planning on going anywhere! And it was best to face things head on so things didn't come up at odd times!

[Derick Silverleaf]

Eyes would look back to her at the question. "I...well...yeah, I guess? But, it would seem I was mistaken, right?" He would let lips form a small smirk. Never would he tell her what actually happened that night that he saw here. The hours that he spent in a blank and useless state. But he was better now. At least that's what he was going for...better.

"Oh no, not at all. I mean, you are not disrupting anything. I was just, well, actually I wasn't doing much. I am still getting used to this place. I was looking out the window, looking to the area. It's all still new to me." The door would still be opened wide, his form leaning against the side of the open door. Plenty of room for anyone to walk on in, if they wanted.

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

She would give a small nod, she hadn't meant to cause him any issues, by running into him! She wasn't one to wish harm, at least not for the longest of time. She would slip past him when he said she wasn't distrubing anything. Slipping into his room she would look around and nod towards a chair, seeing if he minded if she had a seat.

"What have you been up too?" Then she peered over at him a moment, "Derick do I make you uncomfortable?"

[Derick Silverleaf]

He in turn would nod, an arm also coming up to motion towards the chair. "Oh please, yes. Please sit." As she was in, door would be closed behind. Eyes would watch as she moved. A small part of him still unbelieving that she was even in the same room with him once more. Steps would be taken to go back to the window seat. Turning around to face her, as the chair was not too far away from the window, he would lean form back, hands going to rest next to thighs on the padding.

Hues would turn to look to hers once more as he was about to answer her first question, but then that second came. So, not only was he nervous, she was asking about him being nervous. Perfect. "Um...I...no. No, of course not. Just, after what....after what had happened with us, and then with The Alliance. I...I am not sure how to act around you. I mean, I left there to escape everything that had happened. I thought I was ready to come back, so I came here. I thought.....that I would have a new start. Being gone from this place for so long really changed me, I thought. So, there I was, getting adjusted once more, and I saw you."

Crystal blues would not look away from hers. But they did start to glint just a bit from a few small tears that started to form. "I....I thought I would never see you again. And after what happened, I didn't know what would happen if I ever did. Or even if I could handle it. So..um...no, you don't make me uncomfortable. I just....don't know how to act. Hell, I might even still be delusional and you're not hear at all. That would be the simplest explanation."

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

She carefully made her way down into the chair. As she was getting comfy in said chair she would hear his words. She didn't mean to draw attention to it, but he did seem a bit, and she didn't understand why he would be nervous. Though she waited till he got everything out that he said before she would begin to speak.

"All of that is in the past, it is a good time for new beginings, and holding grudges isn't going to help anyone." A gentle shake of her head as she would pause a moment. "It's been years!"

She almost laughed gently but she did hold it in, it wasn't the glistening in his eyes but the fact he still thought she was a figment of his imagination. "Can you handle seeing me around Derick?" It was a straight forward question, "Because I am really here..." She looked thoughtful as if she was trying to figure out how to prove to him she was really there.

[Derick Silverleaf]

Climbing into the window's seat, he would turn body to lean up against the side. One leg raising up and bent at the knee, the other left dangling off of the front. "I have no grudge to you, Azlin. It was that place. I just needed to get away. And now.....the past is coming back at me." Eyes would drift off a bit, head turning to gaze out the window, looking to the surrounding land.

"I know it's been a long time. Just....no, forget it." He heard that last question, but seriously had no way of answering without lying. Head would then lean to side, lightly thumping to the window. He had gotten up the strength to pour his thoughts on a select few, but could he with Az?

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

She watched him, just as he spoke, when he turned to face the outside she would speak. "The past isn't always a bad thing, bad things may of happened in the past, but I am sure there were good things as well. One shouldn't dwell upon the bad, but they should cherrish the good with fond memories." Az was a firm believer in that as she had pushed most of the bad memories save the new ones from her own head.

She wasn't one to hold grudges or share other's secrets. But she was a curious little goddess and her head would tilt, and those baby blues would land upon him once more. "It's just what?" She knew he wasn't the sort to tell her everything anymore, but Az always did care about her friends, and what they were feeling.

[Derick Silverleaf]

"But....what if those good past memories are the ones that you dwell on? The ones that you can never forget. The kind that even brings pain?" Head would be turning back to look to her once again. Tears would be running down cheeks now. He was trying so hard to hold it in. But nearly 3 years of holding the emotions was coming back to haunt him in a bad way.

"Just......I thought I was over....us. But as it turns out, I'm not." He would chuckle a bit, but then head just tilted down to look to the floor. Had he really just told her?

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

Lids closed in a blink at seeing the tears! First instinct was to wipe tears away but something held her in that chair. "So your good memories bring pleasure and pain? Kind of bittersweet?" She glossed over her own memories anymore, it wasn't a good thing but she really did not let them affect her so.

She gave a small blink of her eyes hearing that, she had expected alot of odd things to come out, but not that. "What?....its been years...surely you have moved on?" She didn't like seeing anyone in pain but she was, well a bit shocked she wouldn't of thought that he would of still, well yeah! Her mouth was a second away from falling open

[Derick Silverleaf]

Eyes were fixed in place, taking in all the details that the floorboards had to offer. But he would nod a bit at the bittersweet she had mentioned. Hands coming to cross over legs, fingers entwining together. "That would be one way of putting it. But, I guess I have grown accustom to it."

And then, there was the reaction. He should have held it in longer. He had been holding it in for so long, he could have lasted longer. Though, another breakdown would not be good. Blues would look back up to her, looking to her features. Was she overly shocked? Worried? Mad? Any of the above he wanted to know. "I'm sorry Azlin. I....I don't think I have. And when I saw you .....I knew I wasn't. I.....I'm sorry." And back to the floor eyes would go. Tear starting to drip down tot he tip of his nose.

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

She paused in thought, "And you can not just let go the bad feelings?" She was once more herself and curious about such a thing. She was sitting still at the moment.

But that changed when he spoke, she wasn't mad, and perhaps it was shock. She had not a clue that he still had feeling, or that he hadn't really moved past her. And perhaps that shock did show in her baby blues as she slipped up from the chair, as he was looking down, and she'd well she would hug him. "I...didn't know Derick, I am not here to cause you more pain. If I would of thought my visiting you would cause you harm of any sort I wouldn't of come." She shook her head slightly, Az wasn't one to shove a knife into someone and twist it, unless she was in a vengeful mood which she obviously was not. And what if he held it in, and it keep festering? After the hug, though she would move back to the chair, thinking it was probably best.

[Derick Silverleaf]

"It's not the bad feelings that I can't let go of. it's the good ones that are missed." And then, he would be watching her stand and come over to his form to deliver a hug? He was, in shock almost. Hesitating just a bit, arms would slowly come up to wrap around her body in a soft, and almost awkward hug. He truly didn't know what to do now.

"You....you are not causing any harm by being here. It...it is truly good to see you. Just......I....." And he once again would trail off. He would look to her, eyes looking into hers briefly, but then he would try to turn attention to anything else in the room.

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

She was listening again to his words, wondering if there was something more behind them. "But if you can forget the bad ones, can't you find other good ones? I am sure you've had many good times, since we broke up." She nodded again, and hoped maybe he would remember those times.

"If your sure, I am not trying to cause pain..."Yes she had already said that but sometimes she felt she needed to say them again. "I really hope...when your ready that we can be friends Derick." Those were probably not the words he wished to hear, but those were the words she had to say. And she really did hope that they could be friends again, it had all started with them being friends, and she missed having her friend. It all happened so long ago, and she wished to keep her happy thoughts and not perhaps create new bad ones, or make it so one of them wouldn't feel comfortable in thier new place of residence.

[Derick Silverleaf]

"Azlin, for a majority of the past 3 years, my only thoughts have been on you. I.....you were the best part of my life. And I can not forget it. I can only think of how happy I was by your side." Tears were free flowing now. He must look so pathetic to her. Sitting there, crying over events that happened years ago. Not moving on as she had, as anyone would have.

He would be doing everything he could to not look to her eyes now. Hand coming up to wipe eyes as he just sat there.

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

She was shocked into silence for a moment. It wasn't that she had no compasion it was that it had been so long ago, that she hadn't expected that he would still feel this way. After everything, that had happened, she hadn't realized what a hold, for lack of a better word, she had on him. A part of her wished she could just give in to what he was saying and try to make everything better, but she knew better. That would only invite bad feelings later on. Honesty was what she could give him, and that really was for the best, in the end of it all.

Her voice was soft as it slipped past her lips. "Derick...I don't know what to say. I am sorry that I can't say I want that back. But things happen for a reason. We do have alot of good memories together, but we have some not so great ones as well. It got pretty ugly for a while there. I want you to be happy Derick. I really do." A soft sigh. "It's just that...." She was having trouble with words, being around so many mortals for so long it seemed it was effecting her. She didn't want to leave him like this but a part of her wondered if he would be better off if she did. "It's not that I don't care Derick, there is a spot of course that always will care. But I don't feel the way I used too." She didn't want to hurt him, but she knew the truth had to be spoken. "I feel friendship." Perhaps that was a kiss of death.

[Derick Silverleaf]

As her words were spoken, the razor sharp words that they were, those teary eyes would simply just look up to her. How did he get here? He had managed to escape from it all, disappearing into the unknown word for years. But perhaps it wasn't enough. For now, he was instantly taken back to a forsaken night where he was left broken and torn. She had been the love of his life, he had to escape that. And now, when in his mind he may have had been given a second chance, it was death once more. But, in all of that, he would just be looking to her. Yes, those words were daggers, but he had been living 3 years in pain, reliving that night in his mind. So, when she said those words again, it would be easy to simply nod slowly.

At this point, he was like a blank slate once more. Emotions would be turned off again. No reason for them. They just brought him pain. Hands would come up to wipe tears from those crystals blues. "I.....I am s..sorry Azlin. I shouldn't have said anything. Umm....thank you. You are a dear f...friend to me as well." He would force lips to move into a small smile. Looking to her for only a moment, but then anywhere else he could. No, he wasn't lying, she was very dear to him. But now, how could he ever tell her that she is the love of his life? How would it favor either one of them? No. This is what must be done. He would seal his own fate by not mentioning it again. And so, he would just go silent.

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

She had not wanted to hurt him, but she couldn't live a lie, either. Perhaps some might think her cruel, and other's would think she did what she had to do. She was rather unsure at the moment, and a part of her even felt guilty for not feeling the way he did anymore. But if one tried to make a relationship out of friendship and guilt on one side, it would not work, and she did know that. It wasn't that she didn't care about Derick, for he would always be dear to her, just not her special one.

"I don't know what to say...and I am sorry." She let out a soft sigh, "Do you want to be alone Der, or would you rather I stay?" She didn't know what to do to make it better, and a feeling was that nothing she could do at that moment would.

[Derick Silverleaf]

Alas, nothing could be done or said that would ever change the way he felt. Azlin was the love of his life. Deep in him he knew nothing could change the way he felt at the moment. Hell, three years couldn't change it. But for now, nothing could be done at all. Those cold blues would look back to her. Hand once again coming up to brush away the tears that were still flowing. Legs started to bounce a bit as they dangled from atop the window's bench.

"Nothing can be said, Azlin. I.....I think I have heard....all I can for now. Um......you are always welcome here. I would never turn you away. You....you can do as you wish." And those eyes would lock onto hers. He wouldn't say anything more, just look. He would look as if it would be the last time seeing her.

[~*~ Azlin Zoi ~*~]

She really was unsure what to do. Then she gave a soft sigh, and a gentle shake of her head, she listened to what he was telling her. And a part of her wished things were different, but they were not, and she knew that. She would look at him, "I know you wouldn't D, but I think maybe I should leave you alone for a while? I don't want to keep causing you pain by staying here."

She would slowly get up from the chair once more, she had thought about hugging him, as would be her nature, but she knew she couldn't right then, she figured it would do more harm then good. She would walk towards the door, before turning at the door and looking back, "I'm sorry."

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