Re: I have to admit. . .

[Beastie]

"Yes. Oh wait you said LIKE me....sorry had a Krystal moment."

Chuckles and toddles off to let others answer.

[Madeline Cauthon]

"OH Real funny Dre. Haha"

"But to answer your question Cas, , nahh. I haven't found someone to plat Tarzan with yet."

"If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?"

[Beastie]

"It would land on it's side. We can test this with Tasha or Sky"

Chuckles knowing he was kidding

"Ever wonder if the sun setting is really a sun rise somewhere else, or is there a time delay?"

[Gawain]

"The sunset here is the sunrise in the Other world. I've seen it once or twice. Quite beautiful, except for the fact that some folks say you're doubly cursed if you view it."

"Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?" A short pause. "Geez, I thought humans -liked- dogs."

[Beastie]

"Of course people like dogs. I mean you do have children, so that means someone loves ya pooch. We all know a little scratch behind the ear gets your tail a waggin, and your leg a shaking."

He rolls with laughter.

"Anyone else think I am a dead Beastie after he reads this?"

[Madeline Cauthon]

"Nah, all you have to do is just get your Mom to scartch him behind the ear some more. He'll forget."

"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?"

[Beastie]

Dies with laughter. "Thank you for stick up for me Maddy hun. And no morons are a by product of people holding in farts for to long."

"Ever wonder if me and Maddy are both dead now?"

[Madeline Cauthon]

"Nope!!! I have a sneeking suspision Old furry butt has enough to handle."

"If the professor on Giligan’s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?"

[Beastie]

"Cause he is a professor and not a carpenter." Shrugs

"Have you ever had relations with your lover in a public place?"

[Guest]

"And here I thought you weren't interested in my love life. To answer your question. Yes."

"What do you want Santa to bring you this year."

[Gawain]

"A baseball bat with spikes in. A BIG baseball bat. Large spikes. Rusty. Wonder how beastie cooked over a low flame tastes this time of the year....bleh. Probably like shoeleather and old plaid. The girl probably tastes of foppishness, strawberry TART, and perfume, which makes me sneeze."

"If the opposite of pro is con, then is the opposite of progress CONgress?"

[Guest]

Laughs at Gawain's question. "Come here fuzzy butt, let me scratch you behind the ear again." More laughing. "What? He's my son. And yes, I am a firm believer in the whole pro and con theory dear. But no more talk of eating little Maddie and my kid. Or I'll remind you that fireball trumps furball." Laughing harder.


"If you swear that everything is fine, an you do not act like anything is wrong, then why won't anyone believe you?"

[Guest]

"Because Mother we love you!!"

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

[Guest]

"Because Mother we love you!!"

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

[Guest]

"Because one if more intelligent than the other."

Who is Goofy and Pluto?

[Guest]

From what I here they are cute cuddly toys from Earth."

"Why do parents think they know everything.?"

[Gawain]

"Because they feel that they should, kid. Parents don't know everything, but tell me, what kind of parent shows his or her ignorance to the child? That is to say, willingly. Sometimes it just happens, and you have to explain it. Look...parenting is the toughest job in the world, and one of the only ones that no one can train you for or tell you how to do it. You're either good or rubbish at it, plain and simple."

"Why do bluejays suddenly like me?"

[Guest]

"Animal magnetism dear." Starts laughing. "That's why all animals, including mammals, like you." Winks and smiles.


"Why do children think they know everything when they haven't lived long enough to even know what their parents do know?"

[Guest]

"Bescause we have learned from your example!!!"

"Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?"

[Gawain]

"Because they are idiots."

"When people are looking for something, why do they say that it was in the last place they looked? Do some people keep looking after they've found what they're looking for? If so, they need their arses kicked."

[Guest]

Laughing. "Gawain, they are just too dingy to understand that they no longer needed to look. And that's putting it nicely dear."


"Why is it some people do things that they know push other peoples buttons, and do it on purpose, repeatedly?"

[Guest]

"Mayhap it du be because buttons du be needin tu be pushed. I du be meaning that iffen they were nae tu be pushed, then why du they be buttons? Why nae du be switched or levers? As what du be pushin it what du be repeatedly, mayhap they du be likin the effect."

"Why du be beings du be thinkin that iffen ye du nae be speakin as they du be or du be nae knowin what all ye du be knowin that ye du be less then them? Or iffen ye du be the Beastie, why du be most just be dismissin him and what du his strength? I du be sorry fer what du be two questions at once. Mayhap I ded be breakin the rules."

[Guest]

"Thank you Zeph, that is the best explanation anyone has ever given me for that. And I say I must have to agree with you. Thank you. And no, you weren't breaking any rules, the two questions at once was fine. People tend to fear that which they don't understand. And many people degrade that which they fear in order to make themselves feel superior. So people make fun of others to make them feel better about themselves. Those who act that way don't like themselves very much."

"Why is it that some people think that they are irreplaceable, yet others think that they are seconds away from being replaced?"

[Guest]

"Du be glad that I ded be nae breakin any rules. Du be a load offin my mind. I du nae be understand how it du be the best explaination, but it du be one. As fer yer's that du be easy. E'eryone wishes tu be wanted and tu be knowin they du be wanted. Sum du be fearin that they du be replaced wit one that du be better. it du be what I du be thinkin du be their own thoughts. But what I du be seein is that we du be replacin many a people fer those that we du be thinkin as better. Nae many du be havin the same friends they ded be havin a wee ones."

"Why du we be thinkin that iffen ye du nae be showin off all that ye du be knowin that ye du be weaker? Du it nae be best tu be waitin fer the right time tu be showin things? And why du be many people du be thinkin, that those of us that du be havin short lives du be weaker?"

[Guest]

"Because some people have egos the size of the whole planet of Earth. While others have the selfesteem of an ant."

Why when everything seems to be going perfect, things start going bad?"

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