Here comes Peterette Cotton Tail...

[Gwendolyn Zoi]

After she went back to her room, and gotten the basket from Spider, Gwen decided it was a good of time as ever to go visit Archer. Perhaps she should of changed out of her bunny outfit, but in her mind she had to wear the bunny outfit when she delivered his gift. Hopefully the night wasn't to chilly. She picked up the basket the one with the mad genius bunny, the only basket that was left. She walked into her bedroom to grab Archer's card. Then back into the living room of her rooms. She went to the basket from Spider and grabbed one of the items, she placed it inside of Archer's basket. She thought it was best to carry it that way.

Taking the basket in hand, she moved to the window, prying it open, and then stood on the sill in her stilettos. It took just a moment, of her eyes closing before her wings came awake. The one good thing about this outfit, she didn't have to worry about wing holes. When her wings came out she did make a small wincing look of pain flashed. The business card was taken, fingers upon the same spot, and the words were repeated again. Once the little cardboard bird came out, and began it's flight, Gwen would follow suit. Now that would be a sight if one saw, a light blue playboy bunny persay, flying with a basket in her hand, following a cardboard bunny.

Once they arrived at Archer's place, she would glide down, her landing was a bit awkward in her heels, she hoped none of his neighbors were peeking out their windows. Closing her eyes, the wings went back into her, without much effort. Tonight they seemed to be playing nicely. The small cardboard bird was floating at the door, as Gwen, left the basket in one hand, the other hand moved out to press the doorbell that was there.

He was lucky that she forgot the words to the song Peter Cottontail, else she might of been singing. Instead she was humming, what she thought was the tune, which she might of been way off. Straightening her hair, from her flight, because she didn't want to have her ears messed up.

[Archer Caughey]

It was one of those nights. Archer had been having a lot of those nights ever since the damn hell leprechaun and his damn hell curse. Headache was a word that had become a part of the genius' daily vocabulary. As were a lot of nastier words that Archer used to both describe and react to the splitting his brain felt like it was doing morning noon and night. It wasn't just the lack of drink and the sobering heap of withdrawl. It was also all those things Archer drank to - not forget, he couldn't do that not with his perfect memory - but to blur. There was no blurring them now, and he really needed to see someone about that.

He needed to pay a visit to the Doctor. Time for the timelord to save the day.

Of course, that's what Archer'd been thinking to himself Monday... Tuesday... Wednesday... Thursday... you get the picture. Days and days were going by as the genius hatched this same plan to see his brother and yet somehow he never made it off his couch to actually put said plan in motion.

But he'd have to get off the couch now. There was a knock at the door. It was either answer the door or lose a potential client, the way he saw it. And losing clients was something he couldn't afford. Palm reached up to rub over his chin and jaw. Stubble, probably a bit more shadow than the 5 o'clock. But at least he didn't look like Walt Whitman. He ran his finger through his hair to tame it down, picking up a vest he he'd left draped over a table. He buttoned it up as he headed to the door. Sure, he wasn't bothering with a jacket or a tie and his sleeves were rolled up, but at least with a buttoned pinstripe vest to match his pants he'd look decent.

He greeted the knocker as soon as he started opening the door. Trying to pep up his tone to sound like a go-getter. "Hel - looooo, Gwen..." The pep obviously hadn't lasted long. Trailing off into a tone that wasn't sure what it wanted to be. As Archer was looking her over in all her dressed up glory he suddenly wondered if he hadn't gotten off the couch afterall. Maybe he'd just sank into it deeper and started dreaming. Because Azlin's kid in a playboy bunny outfit knocking at his door? Yeah, that fit his typical twisted nighttime dreaming.

But there was his card, flapping right in front of his face. Archer caught it, smoothing it out with the skill of a well-trained magician before holding it out to Gwen betwen two fingers. All done with one hand. At least his headache hadn't killed his other talents. "What can I...? Do you...uhm...y'know, why don't you come in." Once he made that decision he must have felt pretty strongly about it, because he reached out with his free hand and clasped her by the shoulder to usher her inside.

All the sudden she wasn't the only one worrying about peeping neighbors. Or even an angry mother hiding in the bushes.

[Gwendolyn Zoi]

Now, with her standing there, and his voice changing from peppy to down right depressing had her looking at him. Now she wouldn't know what was wrong with him, because she when she had seen him last he was able to drink, and well he seemed rather jolly at that time. Not jolly like the fat man that delivered presents but jolly none the less.

But the Archer she knew, was there too, because he did the trick with his card with one hand again. She smiled, "Thank you." Speaking of how he fixed his birdie card back into a card again. Though when she looked for a pocket she blushed, "I forgot I don't have any pockets!" But then she had a thought, and the card after it was in her possession again, was lifted up and slipped into the top of the leotard, snug against her breast. "There! Now I won't lose it!" She thought it was a rather good place for the card, though she did look down to make sure the card did not, distract from her outfit. One hand lifting upwards to press against the fabric there to make sure. Okay so if one was looking that might look odd, but it didn't seem odd to Gwen. Instead she looked up to Archer with a smile. "See all set!" All proud of herself was shown in her voice.

She was going to answer him, she really was, but then he had his hand on her shoulder, and tugging her inside. So she went inside easily enough. Besides she had a question for him, besides dropping off the basket. Well she would of just been dropping the basket off, but then she got her own basket from Spider, it could only be Spider, that had a ton of questions forming in her mind. And she didn't fear her mother, silly silly Archer!

Once she was inside, she would look up to Archer, and smile. "I brought you a Easter Basket! I didn't want you to feel left out." Awe, see she thought about him, because he had helped her out. Before she would hold up the basket she grabbed out an item. And then she looked down a moment, before looking back up at Archer. "And...I fear...I got a gift...left at my door. And I have questions, and well, I promise I am going to spread out the questions to others too. But with you being a genius...and rather handy..I thought maybe you would know." Not giving him a chance to back away or down, and she feared if he got out of the doorway that he would not answer, she held up the item that looked like candy. Five flavors of candy even. "Do you know what this is for?" Innocent as can be those words tumbled out of her mouth. She had his basket in one hand and the item that looked like candy in the other. Maybe he would need a seat, seeing he wasn't drinking. The girl was good at just jumping in.

[Archer Caughey]

Let's break this down. Azlin's kid was in a playboy bunny costume putting his business card on her boob for safe keeping and holding edible lube out to him and asking him what it was? Pardon Archer for taking a minute to look out his window. If this was Azlin trying to test his honor….

…he closed the curtains. Take that, potentially spying mother. Not to say that Archer was paranoid. He was just, you know. Paranoid.

Now that the curtains were closed, he could handle this situation. Left hand went behind his neck, scratching it as Archer always did when he was trying to figure out how to proceed. Dead grey eyes were switching between the basket she was gifting to him and the five flavors of dirty licking. Right hand reached out and took the basket. Call him a coward.

"Wow. Thanks, Gwen. I mean…thanks. That's really sweet of you." So sweet he'd use the basket to stall. Taking his time to go through each of the items she put in there. When he pulled out the bunny he laughed. A single, "Ha! Funny, that's funny. I've never seen a bunny like this before." Then he unceremoniously snapped off one of the ears and stuffed it into his mouth. The whole damn ear. Maybe chocolate would help him figure out how to deal with this. This being the finger-licking-good-time candy Gwen was asking him about.

In the meantime, question for her. "Who ah…who'd you say gave you that basket? You have a boyfriend, or…really forward secret admirer?" Of course, there was a question on his mind that he didn't say, and it was this:

...Are you sure your mother's not trying to set me up to bite my head off?

[Gwendolyn Zoi]

Exactly, Azlin's kid was indeed standing there, in a playboy bunny suit, light blue stain even, silky to the touch, his business card was now nestled to her boob, and she was holding the lube. Yep, he didn't miss a thing did he?

Although she did watch him as he went to peek outside. And saw him close his curtain. That was a little odd, wasn't it? She would look over to him. "Are you expecting someone? Did I come at a bad time?" A hint of worry came into her voice. The way she was holding the lube, she had not a clue what it was, she thought it might be a strange candy. But she hadn't opened it and tried any of it. Because one shouldn't just eat things that came with a egg that came to life.

When he said that it was sweet, she was glad, because he seemed to well like it. And she was the sort that liked to know that her gifts were liked, even if they weren't if one faked it she wouldn't know the difference, most likely. She giggled as he broke off the ear and plopped the whole piece of chocolate in his mouth. Gwen had to throw out the random fact she had learned earlier that day. "I didn't know it when I got chocolate for people, because chocolate bunnies are proper for this time of the year. Except Spider, I got her a chocolate spider, but anyways. I read that chocolate is a aphrodisiac." She had a feeling he knew what that was so she didn't have to read what she had looked up later after reading that.

Now the question, she could answer his question. "It had to be Spider. See she's the sort of girl that if you give her a gift, she returns it with something she thinks is appropriate. When I gave her a valentine card, she brought me a doctor." That was said so rather basic, its how she knew it had to be Spider, no one else would of gifted her things. A shake of her head, "No boyfriend." A small frown, boys were, confusing, to say the least. "And if its a secret admirer, I wouldn't know cause it would be a secret! Silly Archer!" Really for being a genius that was just a silly suggestion.

Azlin was no where to be found! Nor was there a hidden camera, or microphone, she didn't even know that Gwendolyn had met Archer! But Gwendolyn couldn't put Archer's paranoia to rest cause she didn't know he had it!

[Archer Caughey]

Archer had never had the inclination, the hankering or the urge to spit a chocolate bunny ear out. Until today.

But first, he almost choked on it. Right after Gwen was so kind to remind him that chocolate was the preferred candy of sexcapades. An awkward cough or two as Archer ducked his hand into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief, and then one last hacking cough when he put the cloth to his mouth. As he cleared his throat, the genius just folded the cloth up into quarters with a few smooth moves of his fingers and returned said handkerchief to said pocket.

No need to tell Gwen there was a slobbery half-eaten bunny ear in that hanky. No need at all.

"It is," he said with a croak that made him clear his throat one last time. "Right you are. Bad chocolate, thing of sinners." What the hell was coming out of his mouth right now? What he was saying was about as eloquent as the chocolate he'd spat up. Jesus H. Christ. He really needed to get it together.

"If this was given to you by a secret admirer, and you know that Spider is the one who gave this to you, wouldn't it stand to reason that you know who your secret admirer is and that the genius standing before you isn't silly after all?" Ha. Take that, Gwen. Meet the most logical man alive. Working that syllogism as hard as some meat-heads pumped iron.

"I wasn't expecting someone. Until you knocked. Dressed like that," a gesture to her sexy little bunny outfit, "waving around this," said as he snatched the package of lickable stickable lube out of her hand and waving it at her like contraband. "Telling me it was given to you by a spider? C'mon, Gwen. Are you pulling my leg? Because if you are, you're a few days late for April Fools."

And Archer was no April fool. No sirree.

[Gwendolyn Zoi]

When Archer began to choke and cough, Gwen blinked, oh dear! She was going to never forgive herself if Archer died eating the candy she got for him! What a good friend she would make, here have this candy, oopsy sorry about the fact it killed you. So when he was coughing and choking, she moved up behind him, and sort of pat him on the back. "Don't die Archer!" Oh dear heavens!

Once the choking and coughing stopped, she would pat his back, one last time for good measure. "Whew! Don't scare me like that Archer!" She shook her head, "Gwen killed the Genius." She sighed. "It just wouldn't be good! Not good at all!" She shook her head, as she spoke, and her hand moved back down towards her side. Then she was blinking, yes blinking, as she peered at Archer. "Chocolate is not a thing of sinners! Chocolate is rather good. Even little kids love chocolate. Perhaps it doesn't effect them the same way it does adults?" Her head tilted as her statement question was put forth. "That would be a interesting experiment. Because if people are giving little kids chocolate...I mean...that doesn't seem right." At least now that her mind was following that, after reading the definition earlier.

Giggling, was what Archer's logic was met with. A shake of her head, "Spider's a girl, silly! A married woman!" Gwen, of course, couldn't say why Spider was the one that gave the gift. Because she could not, or rather would not give away the secret that she knew about Spider now. She had given Spider her word, and even if Archer did not know Spider, she couldn't talk about her like that, even if Spider said it wasn't a big deal. Gwen thought it was, you didn't just out someone of what they are. "It's just how she is. I did try to sneak attack with the gift, but she must of figured out it was me." A small impish little grin formed, "Besides Spider wouldn't be a secret admirer, I spend my time, unwisely." A small shrug of her shoulders, that wasn't the exact wording, but unlike Archer she did not have a memory of stone. "And why would someone keep it a secret from me if they admired me? That doesn't make any sense. It's not like I bite." Did she bite? Well she didn't think she bite. But then again, lately her new fascination with vampires might change that?

She did relax that he said he wasn't expecting anyone. She would of felt bad if she had just intruded on her new found friend, when he was expecting people. And the way he was peeking out, it gave her the idea that he was. "What does the way I dress have to do with you expecting company?" That she didn't understand, before she pouted, lower lip trembling, as big hazel eyes looked up at him. "You don't like my bunny costume?" She thought her bunny costume was cute! And Epiphany didn't seem to find anything wrong with it! Epiphany said she was cute!! And then she glanced up at the package in his hands. "What is that? That's what I needed to know! Its why I brought it!!" She was pointing at the product in his hands now. She took a deep breath, "Spider, isn't a spider, she's a lady." She was a lady right? "April fools? What's that have to do with anything? When is that?" That wasn't a holiday that she was familiar with. She let out a deflated noise. "I just thought you would be able to help me."

[Archer Caughey]

"Nah. A good hard stab to the back works a lot better than chocolate if you want to kill me. I speak from personal experience." Meant to be totally light-hearted, but an edge snuck its way into his tone. Blame it on the sobriety, the fact that his time in the hereafter was something he'd been agonizingly unable to not think about. It suddenly made him kind of glad he was being asked about the edible pleasure goop. Distraction. Wasn't that what the alcohol was usually for, to give him a heaping spoonful of distraction?

While Gwendolyn was thinking about using kids as guinea pigs for dirty chocolate experiments, Archer rounded his couch. Hand that didn't have the package of lube in it waving for Gwen to do what he was about to do - take a seat. He did it on the right side of the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table. If she didn't want to sit next to him, there were two plush chairs (which didn't match each other, and which didn't match the couch either) that she could use to take a load off.

He flipped the package over. Eyes were scanning over the ingredients. "How come you didn't sneak attack mine?" Pause. He slowly looked over at her. "This...you didn't consider this a sneak attack, coming here dressed up like that, did you?" Because if she did, boy did she need some lessons in the art of subtlety. While he was looking at her he pointed out something else. "Ever like someone and not tell them?" If she was guilty of that she would have a possible answer to her own question about why any admirers of her didn't speak up.

"Your costume...." He balked. After he cleared his throat, suddenly there was a change of conversation. "April Fool's day is an old holiday, goes way back, people argue over how it really started but in recent times it's been celebrated on the first day of April and it's all about doing pranks." Archer sounded really damn official with the explanation, probably trying to distract from the fact he'd just chickened out from saying anything about her bunny clothes.

He gave the package in his hand a wag. "Because of what this is I figured you were playing a joke. This married woman, are you sure she was the one who gave this to you? It's something couples use with each other." Pause. "To, uh, 'grease each other's wheels'." Oh yeah. Archer totally used his one hand to make quotation marks when he said that euphemism. Pause. "You know what I'm getting at?"

Notice he totally stayed way from any discussion about the randy effects of chocolate on children. He wasn't touching that topic with a ten-foot-pole, not with the screaming headache he was suffering from.

[Gwendolyn Zoi]

Blink, flutter lashes, blink. "Oh! I..wouldn't stab you in the back Archer." Or the front, or any sort of stabbing. No no no! The girl moved rather quickly and gave Archer a quick little hug. Almost as if she was punctuating her words. See if I hug you, I wouldn't stab you, made sense to her. See! Her showing up on his doorstep as she was, was a distraction, just didn't know if it was a good or bad distraction for him, yet.

Gwen didn't have a dirty thought in her head! She just...was curious about that now. Things were not stacking up very well in her mind. So when Archer motioned to take a seat, she did plop down, gracefully next to him on the couch. She wasn't scared that Archer was going to bite, and besides if he was Mr. Crabby Pants, he just might need random hugs! Hugs made things better, at least she thought that they did. Poor, poor Archer!

Well, that was a good question, but she had a answer! "I didn't sneak attack yours, because if I was coming all the way over here, I thought I should say hi! And I wanted to ask for your help." Her hand motioned towards the lube in his hands. A small pause, "And I need to rest when I fly. The muscles are still building up." She blinked a moment, her head tilting, a look of complete confusion slipping over her features. "Why would me dressed in my bunny costume be a sneak attack?" That just went over her head. She looked thoughtful and then she laughed, "Why wouldn't I tell someone if I liked them?" She was the sort that wore her feelings on her sleeves, well if she had sleeves, unless the feelings themselves were hidden from her too.

She was listening, really listening when he said your costume, and then he just dropped it. She shook her head a bit. "No no..why don't you like my bunny costume?" Frowning, causing her forehead to pucker as well, she wanted to know. Oh, the girl was easily distracted by shiny objects, and food, but every so often, she would dig those stiletto's of hers in, and this was one of those times. Sorry Archer. She gave a nod of her head, "I don't think I like that holiday." She frowned, "It's not nice to play pranks on people." So that was that!

A sigh, did he not get it, and he was suppose to be a genius. "But that's why I brought it! So you could tell me what it is!" Her eyes were rather large at the moment, because he was explaining things. A bob of her head, "Yes, I would bet anything it was Spider." Once more she wouldn't say why she would bet it was Spider, besides the fact the basket that it had came in was the very one, that she had gifted to Spider, they were all different! "It also was in the basket that I had her Easter Gifts in. They are all different." A bob of her head, before she blinked looking at Archer. And here is what she got out of it. "When you become a couple you get wheels that need to be greased?" And then it hit her, she looked at the package in his hand. "Why does the grease need to be flavored?" Oh dear!

Yes, Archer having to deal with Gwen with his headache, probably wasn't the best for the man, he would have someones sympathy perhaps?

[Archer Caughey]

Ohhh, couch. He shouldn't have sat down. He shouldn't have put his feet up. Because now he was sinking back, and the back of his pounding head was kissing the back cushion of the couch. Archer was in full recline. Lucky Gwen talked a lot, and lucky his head was throbbing. Otherwise he'd be hopping the happy trail to the Land of Nod in no time. As it was Gwen would have to forgive him. Some of that talking she was doing was getting lost between the throbs. Today wasn't one of his better days.

He had a sneaking suspicion he wouldn't see a better day until he was no longer sober in October.

"Okay..." A single word from a man who didn't know where to start. What to answer, what not to answer, which order to answer it in or... "Y' know, let's just get down to the brass tacks." That way he could conveniently consider answering the question about not telling people you like them as not getting down to brass tacks. His eyes closed, his hand that didn't have the package of lubes in it was rubbing at his forehead. Evidence of just how severe his headache was.

"For starters, I didn't say I didn't like the costume, and you know I like you so what I'm about to say isn't anything against you, but..." It's a good thing Gwen was sitting down, because holy hell was Archer about to be blunt. "You do know those are f-ck me heels you're wearing, right? 'These make me tall enough to bend me right over a table!' That's what those shoes say. To guys, at least. I mean, they're not called f-ck me pumps for nothing. And the fishnets and the..." he gestured in a general way at her leotard, "things like that send messages. To guys, at least. And probably to this Spider chick too, if she's sending you wheel greaser. Did you show up at her door in that outfit too?" He turned his head and gave Gwen a grin. It was a weary fool's grin, but still a grin.

And speaking of wheel greaser. "As for this and why it's flavored," Archer tossed the package of flavored lubricants into her lap, "haven't you ever wished that when you licked someone they'd taste like a banana?" Okay, so that answer was less than serious. Typical Archer 'talking around the issue' banter.

But then again...why is lubricant flavored if not for our wish to lick our guy and gals and have them taste like bananas?

[Gwendolyn Zoi]

It was okay! He was still technically awake right? Maybe his reaction time was slowed down? That wasn’t always a bad thing. And of course, he never mentioned his not being able to get drunk off of alcohol…nor did she know he was a chronic drinker. Not that she would of ever put the two together, unless flat out told.

Watching, she was watching poor Archer, so when his hand went to his head she pondered, after he spoke of course, she wasn’t going to cut him off! “Is your head hurting you terribly bad?” She frowned at that, Gwen was the sort that did not like to think of anyone on pain, no matter her connection to someone. “Is it at the temples?” She knew about pulsating temples, but his hand was there, so she couldn’t reach over and help him at the moment. She might react without thinking, but not when someone was already doing something! Perhaps that was lucky for him. But she thought she would offer anyways. “I can help you massage your head if you want.” See she was being thoughtful! After all the stuff that Archer had done for her so far, she thought it only fair to offer him services. Besides she didn’t know what the brass tacks were, she would just have to wait, patiently she could do that, maybe.

She looked at him, wide eyed innocent at that very moment, “So you do like my costume?” That was the first thing she took from him. You know, when she went to the store to get the bunny costume, she had gotten a bit of a weird look, because she explained what it was for, but she didn’t let that phase her. Not one bit! She liked the ears the best! She nodded at his words, she didn’t know anyone that really disliked her. Head tilted just a bit, “F-ck me heels?” Now that was probably the first time that word EVER came out of her mouth. “I didn’t know shoes talked.” Then a thought came to her. “You mean you can do that in other places besides the bedroom?” She looked rather in awe at that. She knew that people went into the bedroom to fornicate, but well now she was getting even more of a education even if he wasn’t trying to provide it. “So then my costume is sending bad or good messages?” Her head tilted in the opposite direction, for a moment before she leveled it. She let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. “Oh no. I saw Epiphany and Leo. And once they left me, I came here to see you.” Yep, Archer was her second stop, or rather the only person she had gone to see. “When I got back from the bar the basket was there. Spider’s are quick.”

“I never thought of that.” She looked thoughtful for a moment, and well if Archer didn’t move, which he very well might of, she would lean forward. Since she was on his side, her small pink tongue would dart out, flicking over his jaw line, right by his ear. Instead of moving right away, she pulled her head back a little bit, “Your right, you don’t taste like a banana. Can’t quite place my finger on what you do taste like though.” If he did not stop her, she would attempt to taste him once more, in the same fashion.

Archer did have a point!

[Archer Caughey]

After he tossed the lubricant into her lap, Archer rested his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. Everything she said, he let her say it in one straight shot besides her first question about the pain. His reply was as dry as sand paper and probably fifty guineas worth of sarcasm. "Only as bad as a sledge hammer knocking down Stonehenge one slab at a time." He didn't specify about the temples. He figured his surly metaphor took care of that answer - the pain was the widespread grab you by the head and shake you down to your teeth kind.

But eyes were closed and he was silent through all the rest. He figured it was the best policy, when he was feeling crappy and she was…well, she was the kind of person who asked questions like most people made grocery lists, and what's the use of heading to the grocery store before you had the whole list, right?

It was the lick, though, that shot his eyes open. Good and wide, by the time she got in the second lick his eyelids really got a nice full stretch. "Uh…" was all he said out loud, but inwardly it went something like this: No mental picture no no no mental picture Azlin's kid that's Azlin's KID don't you dare get a ha - arcticfreezeglaciersnudistcolonyoftheelderly Azlin'skidAzlin'sKID!!! "Clothes - " he stopped there. With a pitch like his someone would mistake him for a soprano.

So Archer cleared his throat to get his man voice back. " - aren't the only thing that can send signals, you know. What I mean is, licking…well at least you didn't crack open the lube I'll give you that but licking, it's…? And massage? I know why you're offering, my head hurts and sure it's only logical but…well not every guy's a level-headed scientist and genius like me, Gwen." That's right. Archer was painting himself out to be the noble white knight of virgins everywhere. "Other guys would look at you in your…special shoes and your silky leotard and your - I mean, there's massage, and there's….massage." He tried to make that second massage sound pointed and gave her a pointed look to go with it. "So other guys, guys who are totally and absolutely not me - how's your mom doing, by the way, I hope she's doing great? - they might think with the licking and heels that you were offering a massage"

It wasn't often that Archer didn't think he wasn't qualified for something, but if ever there was a time, having a talk like this? Not to mention that Gwen was right. The genius tasted like cologne, sweat and maybe a hint of sterno-style gas from all the time he spent in the lab. He definitely didn't taste like bananas.

[Gwendolyn Zoi]

Now, if he wasn't having a massive headache, she might, might of took a little bit of hurt from that. But well he did, so she didn't, because she thought even the most gentle of people could become surly when their head felt as if it was being kicked in by cement boots. She could be quiet, besides there were ways to get someone to be quiet, ya know. But even without ways, she could be quiet. Especially if her mind was pondering something. Less talk.

She noticed the change in his voice, it would of took a lot more, for someone not to notice it. Lucky for Archer, she didn't know why a voice would change like that. Because when he said the word, it wasn't a word that would make one overly happy, at least not that she could assume. And then he was going, the words coming out of his mouth, she was listening too. "But if I didn't lick you, how would I know that you don't taste like banana's?" She thought it was logical. See he should of been proud of her for using logic? She looked to Archer, "But you are a level headed genius, so its okay?" Questioning him she was, because that was his words implied, and she wanted to make sure. She still hadn't moved far away from Archer even during his talking. And then it hit her. "Oh! Archer! Because I already tasted you and know you don't taste like banana's...can I make you taste like banana's?" She looked down at the packages of lube between them. "Is there a banana flavor? I like banana's do you like banana's?" Her attention was off of him, and down to the package looking for it....and when she found that flavor she held it up triumphantly.

She took a breath, he was back on the clothing, she glanced to Archer, and he already said he wasn't like most guys, that he's level headed and such. She wasn't wanting to leave yet, so she thought she would make a offer. "Would you be more comfortable if I wasn't wearing the bunny suit? And the talking shoes?" She looked around a moment, before looking back to him, "But I didn't bring any clothes with me." A pause, "There are different types of massages?" That was new to her. And he stressed once more, guys that were not him. "Well, I don't know I haven't seen her for a while. I think she's hibernating again." He always brought up her mom and she wasn't quite sure why, but that was okay. And she gave him a look, you know that well you still didn't answer my question, sort of look. "So did you want a massage?" Yes, he had painted himself safe, so if she said it to someone else, perhaps they would take it differently, but not Archer!

And now, she wanted Archer to taste like banana's! And give him a massage! See how thoughtful that was!

[Archer Caughey]

"...because I'm not a banana?" Now that was logical. With the wry tone of voice and the way Archer dryly cocked his brow at Gwen it was one of those moments where a person could tell Archer and Caddy were relations.

When Gwen asked if because he was a level-headed genius the clothes, licking and massage stuff were 'okay' Archer suddenly felt like he'd set himself up to be a eunuch. Fan-freakin-tastic, that was not a perception he wanted circling around. So it was a good thing Gwen kept talking and asked if she could make him taste like bananas, because otherwise his headache was going to get the better of him and some crabby ole bastard words were going to come out of his mouth using 'peeling my banana' as a euphemism for something on his person that wasn't a fruit. Instead all he said was, "Depends on your definition of 'okay'." Semantics, semantics.

When she offered to not wear her bunny suit Archer sat up rather suddenly, taking his feet off the coffeetable as he said, "Whoa whoa whoa. Take off your clothes? Gwen I don't think - " He stopped. He replayed what she just said. And resisted the urge to smack his forehead. Even level-headed geniuses can hear things wrong when gutter-mind was clogging their ears. Why were Archer's ears cluttered with sewage? Just ask the container of banana lube Gwen was holding up at him. The lube knows. Jesus Christ.

He tried to play his misinterpretation off by switching how the sentence was going to end. Sly, right? Sly. " - I have anything that fits you, just sweats, t-shirts, I could get you a set if you want to - okay, Gwen, you have to understand something here." That's right, he didn't even bother finishing his last sentence. He was eying the lube and she was dropping the 'm' word again. "Telling a guy you want to lube them up and give them a massage is totally massage," he stressed the word pointedly, "Not massage. Kapish?" Archer looked stupidly hopeful that he wouldn't have to clarify that again.

But then again, why not just go with the flow. Archer leaned forward, elbows on knees, head in his hands. The position of a man giving up. Because he realized that no matter what other guys - including level-headed geniuses like himself - would think when she said this stuff, he knew what she meant was totally innocent. Which is why he finally threw in the proverbial towel and agreed, "Why the hell not. Sure, Gwen. Take off your bunny costume. Make me taste like bananas. Give me a massage. And best of all, tell your mom I said 'hi'."

Ha.

[Gwendolyn Zoi]

Well, okay he had a point, but couldn’t things taste differently then what they were? “So then all flesh tastes the same?” She had not made it a habit of going around and licking people. So she had to ask, if he didn’t taste like a banana, did everyone taste like cologne, sweat and maybe a hint of something else?

Well, it depends on your definition of okay. She looked thoughtful towards Archer, because he had basically said that he was safe, that he wasn’t like most men. He was way to level headed for that. So she told him so. “Well, I mean it’s okay cause you won’t take the things I say, in the wrong way? Even if they have other implications!” That’s how she took it as being okay.

Lids blinked as he moved and sat up quickly. That had to hurt his head! “Your head!” She wasn’t thinking about the poor man and her taking off her clothing, oh no. Her thoughts went to his head, “Don’t move so fast!” And then she gave a simple little shrug of her shoulders, she may be innocent, but she was Azlin raised. “It’s just clothing Archer.” She had a few shy moments, but it wasn’t really a shy because of what she was wearing, the girl was comfortable in her clothing.

And then he was finishing, his sentence, about the clothing. “If you would rather I was in your clothing.” She gave a small shrug of her delicate shoulders. So that might not of came out the way, that she was meaning it to, but she wouldn’t realize that. She sat back a moment, looking to where Archer was looking, which just happened to be the banana flavored lube. And she let out a small laugh. “Oh silly Archer, not that sort of a massage, well, I can’t exactly say that…because I don’t know what that sort of massage constitutes as.” Poor Archer, unless he just gave up, he’d eventually have to explain that again.

Oh she would of clapped, Archer was going to let her make him taste like banana‘s!!! But she didn’t because she didn’t want to hurt his head any more. See she was thoughtful! She was innocent with her thoughts, she just didn’t get how things came across. Legs would be lifted from the ground, one at a time, slowly because she did not want to scratch his coffee table. The heels of her shoes hooked right onto the edge of the table. Bending forward she would unlatch the shoe closest to him, carefully. “Don’t worry I’m being careful not to scratch your table.” Once her foot was free the shoe would fall to the ground, and she’d wiggle her toes. “That feels good.” Putting that leg down off of the table, she moved to her other foot, unbuckling that shoe, she cast a glance over to Archer. “I didn’t even realize my feet were getting cramped. You had the best idea ever!” That shoe fell off as well, then up she stood, her hand went to her side, where the zipper was, right under the arm pit, well okay not right under the arm pit, but you get the point. Fingers found the little blue zipper, and you could hear the zzzziiippp, sound. Then that leotard was lowered and she stepped out of it., setting it on his coffee table. Left in her fishnets, a teal thong and a teal strapless bra, she had to ask, “Is this better? I can make you taste like banana’s now? I will tell her when I see her next!” She didn’t want to forget his one favor of saying hi to her mom.

[Archer Caughey]

Head in his hands still he was rubbing his forehead with the meat of his palms. His answer to her question about flesh was automatic. Like his genius was on autopilot. "I'm no cannibal but that's not logical. The only reason beef tastes basically the same or pork is because those animals are pretty much uniformly raised and fed. I know Caddy's said everyone's blood doesn't taste the same. Everyone's diet's different and that affects our body chemistry." If he wasn't distracted by the headache, he wouldn't have mentioned Arcadia in that way. He knew she didn't like to broadcast her blood-drinking habits and he was usually pretty good about keeping mum about them. Partially because he had a dislike of vampires in the first place.

Still hunched over, Archer waved off her apology about the table and her shoes. He'd just had his own feet up on it after all. "Don't worry about the table. But to a scientist nothing is ever just." He was talking about her 'just clothes' comment. Still rubbing his temples. "If things were just there'd be no reason for science. Every action has an equal and - "

Archer looked up just after she said he'd had the best idea ever. And that's also when he stopped talking in mid-sentence. Because that was also when she was unzipping her leotard and he was right in time to see it. He was trying not to wear his shock like a bad suit, but…he was a genius, not a miracle worker. " - opposite…reaction. Yeah…."

He had to say something other than that. He knew he did. But when she pulled that leotard down and all she was wearing was a bra and fishnets and a thong?? And then asked 'is this better' to boot?! Come onnnnn. Come on!! The first thing that came to mind besides head-pounding white noise (which would've translated vocally to an unending 'uhhhhh') he said. "Gee. If only I was wearing one of my fancy bras. We could've been bra buddies." Oh witty repartee, how many a time it had saved Archer in the past. Save him now, humor-as-a-safety-net, save him now.

Note he avoided talking further about massage. Or tasting like bananas. Boy oh boy. If only Archer's nephew were here, Killian could fix the situation for him by yelling at Gwendolyn to put on pants.

[Gwendolyn Zoi]

So what did Gwen take from Archer’s words? “So then everyone tastes differently. So there was a chance that you could of tasted like banana’s. Right?” I mean there was a chance, maybe slim to none but a chance. “And if I wouldn’t of licked you I wouldn’t of known for sure.” See she was just experimenting like he did with her blood samples! She had learnt something! Oh! She wasn’t about to say anything about vampires and their blood drinking. The fact that Arcadia was a vampire did not matter to her, I mean the girls very bestest friend was a vampire, and that did not have any ill effects on the friendship.

True but it was different when it was your own item, you could do what you wanted to do with it, and not always want someone else doing something with it as well. And she was the sort that tried to be courteous at all times. She was raised that way. And he was teaching again, that’s what it sounded like, so she was all alert to his words, her head was nodding to that. “Oh, and that would not do, because if there was no need for scientists then the Genius would be without some of his work.” A frown, that wouldn’t be good at all! Some because he was handy too, he said so there would always be work for him to do.

Really he shouldn’t be shocked by it, he is the one whom told her to go ahead and do it, and she was just trying to make things easier on him. She figured he had something against the bunny suit and the heels so she just got rid of them. Wasn’t that what friends did? Besides any other type of undies would not of went well with the costume, and she did not want to have any underwear peeking out, that would of ruined her costume! Underclothes were not meant to peek out from costumes! And she perked right up, “Oh! You have a fancy bra too? You should go put it on! And then we really could be bra buddies! I haven’t ever had a bra buddy before.” Did Archer just give himself a nickname? Then she wondered, “Do bra buddies do anything besides wear bra’s together?” Now that might have been a loaded question, but it was very sincere, and she wanted to know the rules, if having a bra buddy had rules.

That was true, if Killian was there, he could of started right from the git about Gwen needing to wear pants, but he wasn’t. And then she was slipping back down on to his couch, her legs were pressed face first into the couch, and she sat back upon them, facing Archer. Then she would pick up the banana lube, and look at the container on how to open it. It might take a few moments, but then she would figure out the top pretty much was a bit of a twist. “I got it!” First thing she did was lift the tube up, to her nose, and took a smell, her laugh escaped. “It does smell like banana’s!” Then she looked at Archer, smiling, “Ready to taste like banana’s?”

[Archer Caughey]

"No chance." Archer should really be letting this go. But Gwen was getting treated to that side of Archer. He was funny, he was goofy, he was an all-around charming nerd but the facts were facts, damnit. He wasn't going to give her a false answer just because she was a couple shreds of clothing away from showing him all the gods gave her. Even if all the gods gave her was damn nice to look at. "If I ate nothing but bananas I might taste sweeter, sure. Like sucrose. Fructose. You know, sugars. But we're not all potential scratch-and-sniff stickers just waiting to happen, Gwen." So hopefully she wasn't going to run home and eat twenty pounds of raspberries hoping she'd be berry-lickin-licious.

When she asked him if he had a fancy bra too, Archer just stopped. Stopped cold in whatever position he happened to be in - which probably looked something like the Thinker, with migraine - and looked at her absolutely dumbfounded. He went to reply, but then he shook his head. Instead he sat back into the couch, nice and slow. Then he reached for her leg, nice and slow. He proceeded to give it the 'there, there' pat before he moved his hand to her nearest shoulder. As if to brace her for what he was about to say. "Gwen, Gwen. Gwen. Tell me you know that the norm is that bras are for women. Tell me you know at least that much." If you asked him any girl who'd found the thong bin at the local department store should know that bras were predominantely ladies only.

He didn't give Gwen a chance to answer though. At least, not right away. With his hand on her shoulder still he kept talking. "So I absolutely don't have a fancy bra, and I don't even know if there is such a thing as bra buddies, it just sounds to me like something you women would do, so I've got to apologize here, because my genius doesn't reach as far as knowing what the bra buddy rules are which means you're going to have to quest that one on your own." Archer could, however, reach his genius far enough to give her a what he thought was a solid first stop on her bra buddy crusade. "Why not ask the one who gave you this stuff?" He picked up the package that had the rest of the flavored lubricants in it, indicating it before he tossed them on the coffee table. "If this is what she considers giving someone a Happy Easter she's probably the type that knows a lot about fancy underwear slumber parties."

That cleared up, all that was left were bananas. "I'm so glad. Nothing worse than false advertising." Said in a sober (way too sober) deadpan as he held out his hand palm facing downward. Assuming she'd know that's where she should put the banana-flavored wheel greaser. As he waited to be lubed, Archer took in a nice calm breath and made a point to look anywhere but Gwen's body.

Because as he sat next to Azlin's grown daughter who knelt near naked on his couch, Archer had one of those moments that we all have, once in a while. One of those shining, oh-so-precious moments where there's nothing else we can possibly think to ourselves but...

Is this seriously my life?

[Gwendolyn Zoi]

Even though that side of Archer wasn’t as fun as his other sides, it wouldn’t flap her or ruffle any of her feathers. Her feathers weren’t showing right now, to be ruffled! Instead she had that same smile upon her lips, that happy, unshaken smile. She thought about that, well he had a point, and she was a bit upset that she couldn’t go home and eat a bunch of peaches and cream. She wanted to taste like peaches and cream! Oh yummy!

Now, she did know that bra’s were normally for females, but that did not mean that some men did not have bras. As a matter of fact, she still remembered that guy that was walking around her home when she was little in a pink lacy bra, she was suppose to be sleeping. Impressionable youth. And so when he patted her leg then grasped her shoulder she giggled. “I know that bra’s are usually for women, but some men wear them.” And then he was going on about how he didn’t know if bra buddies existed and he didn’t know the rules and he sent her on her quest to ask Spider. “I can do that.“ Well, there was a good chance she would be going to visit Spider, she frowned, looking crushed for a moment, then she lit back up. “But you can still be my bra buddy! I can give you one of my bra’s I have a bunch. I have some I don’t wear anymore!” She looked as if there was a light bulb that had just turned on over her head. Once more she would of clapped with delight at the idea, but she did remember of his headache, so that impulse was tampered down. “I can even give you this one if you want?” She did not know if he had a preference for a bra, so she thought she’d offer him one he had at least seen. See there she was being thoughtful. “We can make our own rules for being bra buddies!” He shouldn’t of ever said it, because she was latched on to that one, and she could be rather, determined.

“Well, you know some candy says its banana flavor and it really isn’t. It doesn’t even smell like banana’s.” She really was disappointed in the candy that wasn’t true to flavor. So when he placed his hand out, palm facing down, she would look at his hand a moment. Then she spoke as she was squeezing a drop or two of the banana lube onto his hand. “Does your hand taste like your jaw?” It was a good question, because maybe different spots tasted differently? Even as she asked, her hand that was on the outside of the couch, would move to grasp Archer’s fingers, fingers holding against them lightly. Her head would move lower to his hand, her tongue peeking out once her face was near his palm, darting out and licking the banana lube from his hand. Leaving a small drop, her tongue dipped out one more time, in a small circle on his flesh. Before she looked to Archer. “You do taste like banana’s! But your hand doesn’t taste the same.” She answered her own question now. But then she let go of his hand, and sat up straight, shoulders back. “Archer…will you taste me and tell me what I taste like?” She looked at him all expectantly, because knowing that Archer’s jaw and his hand tasted different, she was curious what she tasted like to someone else. Really he should of expected the question.

[Archer Caughey]

Let's get this straight, said Archer to himself. She still wants to be bra buddies. She's offering her bras. She's offering the bra she's wearing.

Make no mistake, Archer was a guy. He could think with what the gods gave him between his legs like the best of 'em. One of the best things thinking with the twig and berries got him was letting him know when opportunity was knocking in the shape of woman. 'Should I want to wear a bra?', asked the genius of his twig and berries. 'Oh No', said they to Archer. 'But should I say I want to and yes please hand me over the bra you're wearing?' Said the twig of berries back, 'Knock knock? Who's there? Bare boobs, buddy it's your birthday!'.

So it was a good thing Archer was also a genius who had just about the crappiest dating history a guy could manage. Having so many train wrecks under his belt, he'd finally learned that women were a lot like inventions: just because you can make something happen doesn't mean you should. He had a pretty good feeling this was one of those times. So instead of taking that bra off her hand (or off her breasts if you want to be literal about it), he decided to fight fire with fire. As a great man once said, if you can't beat 'em? Join 'em.

After a long, contemplative stare at Gwendolyn he finally replied. "Well, Gwen...maybe I should put it like this. If I scratch your back by being your bra buddy, you've gotta scratch mine. Because my jockstrap buddy has totally bailed on the last three meetings, and it's really been tearing me up." Now Archer could be a total goof, but the scientist in him helped him be absolutely serious when the moment called for it. Which is why he could say what he said next with an absolutley straight face. "I mean, you know the jockstrap buddy motto, right? 'If jockstrap buddies don't give each other support, we're all left flappin' in the wind'"

Yeah, he make that wise crack while she was licking his hand. Gave him something to help distract him from the 'hard-pressed' advice of his twig and berries. Let's just say a woman licking him gave them a whole lot to stand up about. So when Gwen asked him to taste her back, Archer's fellas were giving him three cheers.

But Archer? Now that his smart-ass switch had been turned on he had other plans in mind. Which is why he clapped his hands on his thighs and stood up as he said, "I sure will tell you what you taste like! Come on back to the lab, and we'll slice off a skin sample so I can run a few tests. You don't need ten toes, right?"

[Gwendolyn Zoi]

Well, of course, she still wanted to be bra buddies! She thought it sounded like a fun time! Not that she would have came up with such an idea on her own, oh no, that was all Archer’s doing. Of course, she did not know about the talk Archer was having in his head with his nether regions, wouldn’t of understood it either. She was waiting for some sort of answer, but she was being as patient as a girl could. So when he came back with his fire, she would give a small nod of her head, as he spoke, a sign of paying attention. “Oh! Okay! You just have to let me know when to be there! I am sooo glad your going to be my bra buddy.” She paused for half a second, “Um, Archer…what is a jock strap?” She had just agreed to be his jock strap buddy without knowing what she agreed to, because she wanted him to be her bra buddy, for whatever that was. She figured that if she said no he would not be her bra buddy, wasn’t that what he said? So it was a no brainer for her. Her own dating history, was living with one guy, yet she didn’t have a clue about jock straps.

So, when Archer stood up, Gwen did too. She didn’t know what he was going to suggest, that wasn’t a good thing at all! Oh no, for she needed her toes and she was going to tell him that, exactly that! All of a sudden before he moved from the couch she moved rather quickly and pounced on Archer, perhaps pushing him back to the couch, with her on top. From the pouncing her breasts were bouncing in thier bra, looking as if they were going to spill out for a half a moment, before the bouncing subsided. Depending on the angle he might have bunny ears in his face. Long brown locks bounced forward from behind her back, hanging with the curls at the end wrapping around the bottom of the bra cups. Wiggling on his lap, as she moved her body around so that she was sitting on his lap, hunched over, locks uncurling themselves from her bra, as she grabbed her toes. Each hand was curled around five little piggy’s. “Arch-er….you can’t cut off my toes! I need my piggy’s! They help me walk! You can’t have them! Nor my fingers either! I need them too! They help me with things!“ Her words were punctuated with a bit of rocking back and forth, which caused her breasts to bounce just so with every rock. What things she wasn’t saying but she was putting it out there, that she did not want him cutting those off either! She did have ten of them, so maybe he might just very well suggest them too! Turning her head to look at him, she frowned, clearly not liking the idea of him cutting off a toe! “Can’t you just use your tongue?” She did not release those fishnet covered toe’s of hers. Nor did she move off of his lap, because for her to move, it would cause her to release her toes, and then he might think she agreed to him cutting off one toe!

She glanced back to her hands covering her toes, before looking back to Archer, seeing she was already there. “Want your massage now?”

[Archer Caughey]

She didn't let him get very far, now did she? On any other day, getting pushed back down on the couch wouldn't have been a big deal, but with a throbbing head? Talk about the punishment of sudden movement. It was enough to make him grimace as he weathered the minute of intensified throbbing. He didn't cover his head in his hands, but he did squeeze his eyes shut. Which meant, shame on shame, he missed the bountiful bouncing of her breasts. Chalk it up to Archer and his lifetime of piss-poor luck.

As he tilted his head to the side to rub at his left temple, her shifting around got him smacked with a bunny ear. Wonderful. She'd have to forgive him. Because he opened up his eyes just enough so that he could see her, reached up with his right hand, yanked the headband with the ears attached right off her head and then tossed it across the room to land...wherever. Who cares where it landed? She was barely wearing anything at this point, so she didn't need bunny ears anymore. In his humble opinion.

By the time Gwen was done protesting his genius idea about how to analyze what she tasted like, his pounding head had gone back to its dull roar. He sat completely back so he could rest said head on the back of the couch, and he looked up at her. "As a matter of fact, I can't use my tongue. When Caddy brought be back from the Land of the Dead my tastebuds decided to stay behind. Can't taste a thing." And that was the honest to gods truth. Archer Caughey hadn't been able to taste a single thing for about six years. Could he fix that? Maybe. Was he? No. Why? There isn't a short answer to that question, why. "So if you want to know how you taste, I'll need a skin sample. Otherwise, you're going to have to employ another taste-tester."

"As for jock straps, didn't you pay attention to the motto? If you didn't wear a bra your boobs would be flapping in the wind whenever you broke out into a jog. If guys didn't wear a jock strap with a cup when they broke out into a jog, same thing. Helps keep the log and two bits in place." He reached his right hand down and gave a squeeze to his junk to indicate just what log and two bits he was talking about. Normally he wouldn't do something like that. But Gwendolyn seemed to have a hard time wrapping her head around things unless they were explicit. He considered the grab an illustration, just like books had. "Of course you don't have any junk down there - unless you're not telling me something - so we're going to have to find you something to stuff with so we can get you fitted up and ready for the first meeting."

Was he really going to put her through that? Turnabout is fair play. As for the massage, if she gave him one he'd take it. He wasn't going to say yea or nay again either way though. That way if Azlin ever questioned him about Gwen's little visit today, he'd have plausible deniability. Well, sort of.

[Gwendolyn Zoi]

She hadn't thought about Archer's throbbing head, it was that fear of him cutting off her toe or finger that had done it! She didn't mean to make her friend worse! That wouldn't of been very nice! She had forgotten about the bunny ears, until Archer was snatching them off her head and tossing them across the room. Bye bye bunny ears. But she figured out why he did that. "Oh! Sorry Archer!" About hitting him with the ears.

Then he was talking about a trip to the Land of the Dead. And her eyes got all wide, as she looked over to Archer. "Oh my! Your poor taste buds! But you don't have band aids on them. Aren't you suppose to put band aids on broken things? If there is no band aids how is someone suppose to know that they are broken?" And well Archer got himself a hug, that was because of the fact he had been in the Land of the Dead and he was back, and well that sure did deserve a hug! Least in her book, but lots of things deserved a hug. When she pulled back from hugging Archer, which had her plastered against Archer's chest for a moment, her own breasts bubbling up in the bra again, but not spilling over, more smushing and bouncing back, as she released him. "I will! And then I can let you know!" Why she was going to let Archer know how she tasted was anyone's guess. But that's what she said.

Her toes had been forgotten, because Archer was seated on the couch, and she felt safe in her toe keeping for he hadn't tried to get back up again. Not to mention, she was holding him down with herself! So when he spoke about her girls, and how they would need the support of a bra if she was going to go jogging, her hands came up to cup them. Looking down at her chest most quizzically, as she wiggled her hands, causing them to jiggle before releasing her hands. "Oh! They would!" Yes she had not ever thought about that, because she wasn't a runner or a jogger, so she had to experiment for herself. One hand lifted to push her hair back over her shoulder, first the right side, then the left. And then she was looking at Archer, when he spoke and made an action with his hand, well she didn't think about it and she followed his hand with her eyes. Which did widen, as she looked towards him, quickly. "Oh! That's where they go!? Oh yes! We will have to find something to stuff me with because I don't have any junk down there." She paused, "So when your my bra buddy are we going to have to stuff your bra? I remember stuffing a one of Azlin's bra's when I was little." Was that to much information?

Well, he didn't say anything about the massage, she noticed that. But she figured he wasn't going to turn her down, because by not saying anything that you were in agreement with her. So she moved to face Archer, causing one leg to move on either side of him, straddling him. Knees were bent, as she lifted her hands, each hand lifted to the matching side of Archer's head so her arms were not crossed over. Her first two fingers on each hand, the pads would press against his temples with a bit of pressure but not overly hard, and they would begin to rub circles there first. Archer if he had feeling in his forehead, would most likely feel warmth seeping from her fingers. Her fingers were moving slowly toward the center of his head in small circles.

[Archer Caughey]

"Band-aids are to keep open cuts clean and to soak up bleeding, Gwen.  And splinting is best when things are broken.  Like bones."  He wasn't the healer in the family but he knew that much about medical practice.  He explained that while she hugged him.  Did he hug her back?  Sort of.  In this wary 'what am I getting myself into' sort of way.  She smelled nice.  Was warm.  Those were the kind of things he noticed so close to her.  As for the subject of jock straps, Archer started off with, "Bananas are - " but the sentence never got finished.  Because she touched him.    And he felt the warmth.  Oh he felt it alright.  Not only that but warmth like that was something he felt before.  When he was dead.  Plenty of people with her lineage where he'd been during that time.  And obviously one had touched him, for him to remember what getting touched by one of them felt like.  He was way, way, WAY too sober to be dealing with a sense memory like that.  It made him jerk.  Forward.  If she wasn't on his lap he obviously would've stood up but she was a road block to that.  His hand raised up he was just waving it like that said what he couldn't.  All he could say was.  "Hold Gwen wait I this isn't I can't do this."  Not the most genius string of words but hey.  It's what came out.

She thought about his words.  Because she had to think on that, and wondered, but that did make sense.  "So then when something like a taste bud is broken you don't put anything on them?"  Yes, she had to make sure on that.  Because she liked to clarify things.  At least he was getting a bit more used to her with that?  Her hugging that was because she was a hugger, though she did her best trying not to do so many.  Of course she smelled nice!  She showered or bathed daily, she adored the water!  Way better then the not doing anything with water smell that some people she had noticed had.  But she was curious.  And she wouldn't think about people touching him like that with the warmth when he was dead.  She barely knew anything about that side of her, nor did she know about anything in the Land of Death.  When he said hold it, her hands fell down from his temples, to her lap.  "You can't do what?  Explain about banana's?"  Maybe she got him way confused, but that's what she was asking.  When he had made a motion with his hand was when she had quit the massaging on his temples.  She just wanted to help him, and it seemed like she was doing the reverse, again!

Her question about taste buds would go unanswered. Archer's mind was elsewhere.  And elsewhere he didn't want it to be.  He'd take thinking dirty thoughts at the risk of her Mother's wrath to what he was thinking about now any day.  "No.  Yes.  Everything.  This."  Archer's hands dropped like he was thinking about taking her around the waist and getting her off his lap but he was having second thoughts.  Was that touch two way?  He was already thinking 'rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb' over and over again to keep from entertaining the memories of the day the Angel - "It's complicated.  When you remember everything like I do sometimes things remind you of what you want to forget about."  That's all he was going to say about that.  "Why don't I get you some clothes so you don't have to put all your bunny stuff on to go home.  Want me to get you a cab?"  That's right, Archer was trying to mayday his way out of his one by getting her out the door so he could have his meltdown in private.  For a man who's thoughts were torturing him and who was painfully sober through it he was doing a pretty good job of looking like he was just at his wit's end because of a headache.

The question was unanswered and she noticed, but she wasn't going to push him, at least not tonight.  Maybe another time.  She blinked looked at him. The one word that would be parroted back to him.  "This?"  Well, if he did touch her he wouldn't have the same feeling, it was her hands, at least in this form.  Anywhere else he touched, or was touched by, the warmth would not be there, unless it was normal human warmth from contact, for that was normal right?  She nodded a bit.  Lot's of things were complicated.  "Like about shadows trying to eat you?"  That she had actually had thoughts about.  And she wasn't pushing just trying to sympathize with him.  And she would give a small nod as she would slowly climb off of Archers lap onto the couch next to him.  "Could I borrow a shirt at least?"  The pants were not a big deal but a shirt, weather it was a button down or a sweat shirt or a t-shirt was fine.   She looked at Archer, "No cabs.....they are mean."  She had ONE experience with a cab it did not last long, because of her screaming with tears running down her face.  And he was doing a pretty good job because of that.  He was painfully sober and had that horrible headache, any maybe someone else would of caught more then she did.  But she lifted her hazels up to Archer's face.  Something wasn't sitting right with her.  Being her, she cared about people rather quickly, not like she loved people right off, but she did care.  And that would show in her voice when she spoke, softly but not so quiet he couldn't hear her.  "Archer...are you okay?  Did I make you worse?"  Lower lip was pulled into her mouth, where she chewed upon it.

"There are shadows that are carnivores.  But not on this planet.  Least not in large doses."  If he was thinking straight he probably wouldn't have mentioned that but right now his response was automatic without thinking twice.  He was getting off the couch instead, once she was merciful enough to get off him on her own.  Archer headed straight for the bunny ears he'd tossed away, picking them up and tossing them on the couch next to her.  Couldn't let her forget those.  "It's late.  You shouldn't walk home Gwen.  Not without pants on anyway."  What would a strange guy on the street think about this girl in heels, fishnets and a dude's shirt?  "I'll get you some.  I'll be fine.  Seriously, don't worry about it.  Long day."  Half of that was said over his shoulder as he was walking down the hall and hanging the left to go to his bedroom and get her some sweats or something.

Now, she had just gotten over that, from when she was in the dark with Catherine and the Doctor.  She of course, would hold that little gasp in well as long as she could, because he was getting up.  "The shadows want to eat me."  She frowned, she was not all comfortable at the moment, and as Archer was getting up to get the clothing, she was looking around for the shadows.  Bunny ears check.  Those she moved to sit with the rest of her costume, not that it was much of a costume, but still.  "I won't walk...I'll...get home the same way...."  Where her words died off.  And it hit her she couldn't get home the same way because it would rip Archer's shirt.  She didn't want to give him back broken clothing!  Now she had to think, and try to think quickly.  "Okay." She wasn't going to fight him, on the pants, because he was being logical.  And if she was walking home, that would of course, raise some eyebrows.  Now, he had to say the thing about shadows, and she was moving....right into the corner of the couch.  The corner that was warm from where Archer was sitting.  Her legs were pulled up close to her chest, she was as small as she could make herself.  "Shadows are bad...stay away shadow."  Thought he words were pretty much inaudiable, more like a very softly spoken whisper.  She had just noticed the shadow on the otherside of the room.  If he wouldn't of mentioned the carnivore shadows, she probably wouldn't of even thought about them.  Though for the moment it took her mind off of worrying about Archer, but only because he was off, for the moment.  ANd her mind had something else on it.

He heard what he said and the genius who wasn't thinking straight gave her the wrong kind of reassurance.  "They're called Vashta Nerada!"  The Doctor had him study one once, one of the harder assignments Archer'd ever had.  Dangerous bastards those things.  People thought a swarm of locusts was bad...  It wasn't just her fear that the shadows were going to eat her that he heard.  He'd heard how she was going to get home.  Since Archer was full steam logical side - which is what he always did when he was feeling something he couldn't handle, just shut off his emotions like a faucet - he'd try to fix that problem for her.   Not only did he come back with a pair of sweatpants that had a drawstring that she could put as tight as she needed to fit her, he came back with one of his long sleeve button downs that he slit down the back just under the collar vertically to make about a seven or eight inch gap.  Because he was being dense even though he noticed the fact she'd moved over to his seat and she was curled up he didn't think anything of it.  Instead he held out the unbuttoned shirt and said, "Okay.  Get your wings out, I'll slip them through this for you."  At least he was halfway sort of being thoughtful and keeping himself quasi-together to see her off right?

Yeah, when he told her what they were called, the people eating ones, well she wasn't going to remember that.  He gave her a name, did giving something a name make it better?  He could of told her the name of the shadows was Bob, and it wouldn't of changed anything either.  She stayed up, curled in the side of his couch.  Of course, she had thought to change her method of getting home, but that wasn't what was on her mind.  Not any more, for all she cared about getting home at the moment, she would walk home nude.  Or even get into one of those horrible cabs!  So when he was back she didn't move to take the sweats or when he said get your wings out and I'll help you into my clothing.  That didn't get a move either.  Instead her head was shaking, and she spoke quietly, as her hand lifted one finger pointing behind him.  "The Vesta Nerds are going to eat me!"  So he gave her a technical name and that's what came out, blame her fright, and nothing against the Lady of the Tree either.  But she did not forget her manners, "Thank you Archer...."  Was said pretty much offhanded.  Even though he was being thoughtful with the shirt with the holes in the back.  And the sweats with the drawband waist.

He sighed.  Now if he was good and soused like he used to be able to be before that damn leprechaun and his damn curse, he'd have had the common sense to keep that sigh to himself.  But he didn't.  And it was exasperated.  "Gwen, I told you.  The Vashta Nerada," saying the name nice and clear for her so maybe she'd get it this time, "don't really live on this planet.  And they're forest dwellers anyway.  They usually eat whatever predators leave behind.  Not much for hunting on their own usually their swarms aren't big enough for that.  Now come on, let's get your wings out so we can get you dressed."  Archer gave the shirt he was holding out with both of his hands a little shake.  Like she was a bull and he was trying to entice her or something. 

But he didn't!  And she heard it!  She heard that sigh.  And he was giving her the name of what it was, all technical.  Really when one was scared of something, how much of that knowledge did you think that they kept?  Especially when she was having that fear showing right now.  Not that she was rather proud of it, for the only thing she really feared was shadows, and that was because it was deep ingrained in her.  Most things that had scared her before her angel side was awakened didn't anymore, but shadows.  She gave a little sniff.  It wasn't his fault that he just freaked her out, he had a lot going on, and she would slowly uncurl from where she had been curled up.  But she did not make her way towards him.  Instead she moved over to her bunny outfit, and she stepped her feet into the garment and pulled it upwards, tugging it into place, moving around a bit, and holding it to her chest with one arm as she moved the zipper back upwards, zipped fully into it.  The bunny ears were not getting put back on, but she found her shoes, and sat back on the couch, rather quietly, she lifted the first shoe up, upon the table.  Once the shoe was up, she slipped her foot into the shoe, strapping it on, and then repeating the same motion with the other shoe.  Once both stilettos were strapped back on she stood up.  Now as much as she thought his shirt would be helpful she felt her stubborn streak kicking in.  She looked to Archer, finally she spoke, which well was odd.  Now she didn't know what he was fighting, all she knew was what that sigh told her.  "Have a good Easter, Archer."  And instead of going to him and the clothing he held out, well, she went the long way to the door.  She paused, thinking, because she couldn't leave without wishing him well!  You just did not do that, it wasn't in her.  "Thanks for helping me the other day.  I do hope your head feels better..." 

She was putting her own clothes back on.  Goddamnitsonofabitchingchrist.  Headache or no seeing her mood wilting faster than a flower in a microwave made him want to smack his head against the nearest wall.  Obviously he wasn't handling this right.  That much he knew.  That's what all he saw was telling him.  Where'd he gone wrong, what was he supposed to do to make it right?  Those weren't ready made answers for him.  That was more empirical science when he was a facts formulas and results kind of guy.  "Damnit Gwen..."  He shouldn't have tacked her name at the end of that.  Really the damnit was meant for him, not her.  Archer threw the clothes he had for her at the floor.  Like a kid throwing his baseball glove at first base after losing the big game for his team.  "At least take a flashlight, alright?  Shadows can't get anywhere near you if you have a flashlight."  Least he was just calling them shadows now.  He went over to his desk, pulling out two of the drawers at once and sticking a hand in each to find a flashlight that he knew he had in there.  One he'd made.  Archer made all of his gadgets himself.

She did have a stubborn streak that peeked up randomly, and unfortunately it had chosen that time to perk upwards.  It popped out more when something was wrong, like the fear of the shadows.  Now when he said the whole 'Damnit Gwen.' She stopped, and well she wasn't trying to make things worse!  The attempt was to just go and leave him be, but then he did tack her name at the end of that.  And she would actually wilt more, normally that wouldn't fluster her as much as it did at the moment.  But as she was already scared, and then Archer was mad, as she was taking it, and it was her fault.  It did cause her eyes to well up.  When he tossed his clothes at the floor she stepped towards them, even as he was going to the desk.  Kneeling very carefully, she picked up the clothing.  Fingers pressing into the cloth.  "Okay...thank you Archer."  Quietly.  And because she didn't quite understand the whole grr thing, she figured it was because she did not do what he thought she should, and so she set his shirt down on the table, and then attempted to stand on one foot, while placing her stiletto shoed foot into the leg of the sweats, bent at the waist.  Once that foot hit the floor, she carefully put her other shoed foot into the other pant leg.  Balancing, before she pulled the pants up as she stood up.  Taking the string on the inside and tightening it.  Lower lip was bitten upon so she didn't let the well break on her eyes, nor speak any more.  And if Archer made the flashlight that only meant it was a good one, and she wouldn't have to fear that it would die on her way home. 

With two hands looking, it didn't take him long to find the flashlight.  It wasn't powered by batteries.  It was powered by lodestones.  Naturally magnetic stones that had to be fed to be charged.  This one was powered up just fine, it'd last plenty long enough for her to get home and then some.  Drawers were shut and he offered the flashlight out to her.  "Get home safely, alright?  If something happens use my card.  Tell it help when you touch it.  It'll get me."  Because if something happened to her on top of him already upsetting the hell out of her he'd feel lower than turn.  Lower than dirt, sober and with a withdrawal headache.  Wouldn't that just be awesome.  "Oh.  Don't forget your...present.  Wouldn't want to forget that now that you know how to use it huh?"  He mustered up a sort of smile.  His attempt to patch up the situation, since Archer relied on humor to fix just about everything he screwed up when it came to stuff like this.

It was a good thing it did not take him long, because she had his shirt in her hands.  She saw the spots and had lifted moved the shirt over her shoulders, testing and realizing it would work.  Her arms then slipping into the sleeves the reason she was looking at the shirt was she wanted to see how it would work, and with how he had it, it would actually work perfectly without cutting them any more.  She moved over to Archer with the flash light held out.  "Thank you."  She would give a nod, her voice was still soft, even softer then when she was trying to be nice cause of his head.  "I will."  Meaning she will get home safely or she will get in touch if she needed him.  Her plan was as long as no one was right outside of Archer's door was to take off from there, and not have to much of a chance to get into trouble.  She had forgotten all about her present!  She moved over to the couch to pick up the package.  A small blush, crept over her features.  "Thank you I almost forgot it!"  It was always good to have flavors around so you could taste people right?  And because she could tell he hadn't meant to upset her so, she walked back to Archer, and gave him a hug.  Pressing a innocent kiss to his cheek.  "I hope you do feel better."  She was not the sort to say something she didn't mean. 

See.  She was only feeding his bad habit of using humor to patch up everything!  He didn't expect the hug.  His hug back was ginger.  Like sticking a toe in the water.  When he didn't feel the warmth that she'd touched him with earlier his hug had more to it with a bunch of pats to her back.  The kiss threw him even more off guard.  Without stopping to think he returned the gesture.  Kissing her cheek back.  "Thanks."  Short and simple.  And sincere.  He was trying out saying minimum words so he didn't upset her again.  And he went over to the door, to open it for her.  You know, like gentlemen do.

She was being nice to him!  Just cause humor worked this time, didn't mean if something happened in the future it would work for him again!  It most likely depended on what was done or said.  She also would notice the difference, and she noticed how he acted when she touched with her hands, which actually were not touching him in the hug.  She was being awfully careful.  It was her way of trying to make amends too, even if she didn't know what she was making amends for!  She didn't like when people were upset with her.  Or even if she just thought that they were upset with her.  She smiled, just a little bit, because unlike a wilting flower, she bounced back rather quickly.  He did open the door and that was either really sweet, or really his way of saying get the hell out!  Seeing Gwen had her own thoughts it was a sweet gesture!  She had already told him to feel better more then once, not that she could help him with that, but she could still think on it right?  "G'night Archer."  And out the open door she went, with the lube in one hand and wearing his clothes over her bunny costume.  If no one was around she would let the wings come out and fly off to the Inn!  Oh, she did forget the bunny ears after all.  Poor Archer.

End

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