Returning with partial conviction

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

( Ya, I'm posting this here even though technically this takes place just outside the Inn.)

"And yet, you come back here." Benjamin was coy sounding in his words as they drifted through the air and straight to the ears to which they were intended. De'Ryanna's. Currently he was only a voice, but as he continued on the words were soon accompanied by the visage of Benjamin in a relaxed stance and standing just off to the side of the woman that was his. "After what happened last time, after what you did when those bottled up emotions leaked through.. After judgmental eyes were set upon you. What do you think will happen now." A question intended to be a statement that he knew she would answer.

De'Ryanna hadn't been back to the Inn since the night everything had happened. After Donald had taken her away she spent time in Asgard healing and when she left there she had gone to her Mothers home far from here and thought about her life and the more recent events. Every time her mind started to settle with the idea of going back to the Tower or the lands of her Foster Father she could hear Donald telling her to fight for her friends and she'd feel conflicted. Aes Sedai. Things always went their way, didn't it? And when things started to slip they handled the situation and kept things on track. But those women were a lot older than she and as much as she hated to admit it she was still a child in many ways. Especially when it came to emotions. Bottle it up, ignore it, channel it, those were the three primary things she knew what to do with them and everything was going well until she came to the Inn.

Nevertheless, after a few weeks of internal debates and struggles she left her Mothers home and now stood a block away from the Inn. "This is Rhy'din." De'Ryanna said with more confidence than she felt she had. "Breaking furniture and not dying from life threatening wounds is not jaw-dropping news." She wanted to hate him - and in her mind she did. In her mind she hated him with every fiber of her being. Only she was feeling overlly calm and relaxed (another reason for hating him. He was making her feel that way through the forced bond.)

Benjamin liked to think of it as 'assisting the emotionally handicapped' and what was the harm in that? He could feel the swell of emotions that swirled inside of her and knew the damage they could cause. He was doing her a service for now she would have the ease of mind to think straight. "Quite right my dear, things like that are not noteworthy." He stepped closer, reaching out to take her shoulder in his hand as he took another step forward and turn so she could see him squarely. There wasn't anything different in his touch that she wasn't already feeling from having his presence next to her. Though, this didn't mean that such a simple thing like a touch on the shoulder couldn't make a difference. He had restrained from touching her all these years and now that she was old enough he wasn't going to not. In his new position his gaze was directed straight to her eyes. "You don't have to return here. With them. You deserve more than the unspoken words and guarded looks that the people of the Inn give you. I can give you what you want."

"Then release me." Benjamin's touch did do something for she could feel the flames in her own body responding to him and her hand wanting to reach up to capture his. It was a very simple thing: his hand on her shoulder, but in it their was no judgment, their was no fear or worry. It was a caring touch that made her crave for more. Her mind started to drift to remembrance of another touch and she quickly closed her eyes and pulled away from Benjamin before it had any more chance to form. "Release me to live my own life and never come around me again." De'Ryanna was turning herself from him to walk steadily towards the Inn.

When she shrugged off his hand to walk away he reached out and grabbed her by the hand to pull her back to him. "You can't lie to me," his tone slightly darker and deeper in tone. "That's not what you want." He pulled on her arm as his words were laced with the command 'Come' and he pulled her against him. It was rare that he would ever compel her towards any act that she didn't want to do but he knew she wanted to be held. And he knew that she needed the comfort after what she had gone through and he was selfish enough to want to be the one to give it to her. Benjamin would pull her to him until he was able to wrap his arms around her waist and shoulders.

"I didn't heal you from your injuries and I even let you pull on my strength to carry you back here when I could have easily brought you to me instead." And away from that man who had taken interest in her. "I let you alone as you believed you wanted but I will not let you become victimized by your emotions and foolish pride."

"What are you going to do about it!" Came De'Ryanna’s sharp words to him. She had been feeling calm up until that point when she felt his emotions welling to the surface. Benjamin had pulled her against him but her arms -once he released her other hand - stayed at her sides and only allowed her head to rest against his chest. Things had been well until he brought into question the matter of her control. Then her hands came up as balled fist and she hit them at his sides as her brown eyes bore into his. "Pull on my strings to make me sing and dance for you all for the sake of knowing what's best for me? To teach me?" She tossed her head back as she pushed against his hold. “It’s my life. Mine!” And one that I don’t want you in. She could say that in her head but when she tried to speak it nothing would come; that only meant that to say it would be a lie.

So Benjamin let her go, hearing what she didn’t say underneath all of her spoken words. It was enough for him. As he let her go he stepped back and put a hand in his pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. Just because he let her go did not mean that he was going to not do what he had already made up to do. He unfolded the paper and held it out for her to take and once she had he turned his back to her. “He’s looking for you.” Of course it was a flier from the coffee shop. When his words were said he began to walk away from her, taking the controlled and calm feeling with him as he did. He didn’t approach her with the belief that she would suddenly have a change of heart and leave with him, he appeared to make his point and he felt that he had.

She took the paper curiously and a sinking feeling gripped at her stomach. Her picture was on it. Why was her picture there? Where did he get this? Were there more? She also felt something else: a tinge of panic and a sudden emptiness from him walking away. Because of that she didn’t bother to look up and see if she could see him leaving – she knew that she wouldn’t – so instead she folded up the paper as she turned and headed the rest of the way to the Inn.