-Too Close-

[Om Kennedy Yajna]

OOC: Language Warning.

+ +

"Pain and loss impel us to look inward. Where else can we go? When we know ourselves, we can see reality; when we know ourselves, we can see what is; when we know ourselves, we can find our place in the cosmos."

+ +

When De'ryanna dropped the bomb on him about what that guy could -really- do, Tobias' first impulse was that he had to leave. His second impulse was that he needed to talk to Samatha to see if she thought that he was right about his first one. But because of his time in India and the teachings he ignored them both.

He ignored the first one because it's said that there's not much use in running from patterns. When patterns happen, it means it's not where you are that's the problem. It's who you are. It wasn't the first time he'd thought leaving was the answer. So maybe he'd been wrong those other times. Maybe it was him.

He ignored the second one because it's said that any advice you can give yourself is worth ten times the advice anyone else can give you. Even someone who's trying to be selfless is going to be biased by their own experience no matter how hard they try. Like Sam. She meant well, she worried about him, yadda. But where she was coming from always got in the way.

So instead he found a place to shut himself up where no one would bother him and he tried to deal with this. He wasn't getting far.

+ +

"We exhale, and we let go of the old moment. It is lost to us. In so doing, we let go of the person we used to be. We inhale and breathe in the moment that is becoming. We repeat the process. This is meditation. This is renewal. It is also life."

+ +

"Ham," inhaled. "So," exhaled. "Ham," inhaled. "So," exhaled. So many times he couldn't remember which he'd started with. Inhales and exhales didn't have a starting or a stopping point. Neither did the sounds. That was the idea. The White Swan was supposed to take off like wings flapping. Get a person beyond the bullsh-t to take a more universal view.

But he wasn't taking off. All he could think about was what was pressed against his left palm and why. The flat disc was the most valuable thing Toby had. He'd never have gotten his hands on it if he wasn't a Kennedy. Getting it had been one of the few times he'd ever used his American Royalty status to his advantage. Having it made him feel dirty. Using a quote unquote weapon discovered by the enemy.

The disc was too valuable to keep in his belt on a regular day. The morning after he'd seen Ryanna he'd fixed it to the inside of his left glove. He wasn't taking off his gloves now, at all. Until he found an answer he wasn't taking chances. The impenetrable substance that the disc was made of was what Toby was made of 24/7.

"F-cking -christ-," exhaled. The Hamsa cycle was broken.

+ +

"Do not persue the past. Do not lose yourself in the future. The past no longer is. The future has yet to come. Looking deeply at life as it is in the very here and now, the practitioner dwells in stability and freedom. We must be diligent today. To wait until tomorrow is too late."

+ +

He was too close to this. There was a difference between running and being too close. If he didn't get beyond the other day he'd never get inward and find the answer about what the f-ck he was supposed to do.

Wasn't even dawn when he stopped in front of his door at the Tel'ranaemyn. Hand snatched the folded piece of paper off of it that someone had stuck there. A glance was all it took before he was ripping it up. "F-cking a--hole." Over pronounced like the way the guy had written his name out. Door was open long enough for him to toss the pieces inside, then shut again. "How's that pronunciation? Pr--k." What came out of his mouth was proof. He was too close to this. Not like he needed the confirmation. If he stayed here the road he'd take was not going to be the Higher one. He was too pissed off. At both of them.

Change of plans. His sister's door was unlocked. He went straight into her room and shut the door behind him. He was done trying to find the answer to this that was nice. Sometimes life wasn't nice. Someone was going to have to accept that.

Now it was a question of who.

[FirenIce]

Samantha's room wasn't very different then it was when she first moved in. She didn't bother going through personalizing the room. Because she really didn't know at all how long she and her brother where going to be staying here. There was even a suitcase that was packed and ready to grab if she needed it. a white envelope sat on top of the suitcase. inside was money, enough to pay for her room up through whatever day it was. which meant that Samantha slid a bit more into it every day that passed while they stayed here at the inn. the envelope was meant to be left at the front desk upon her speedy checkout.

Toby probably wouldn't need to ask why Samantha did that, It was common with most people bearing their condition. You never knew when someone would try to come to you and steal you away in the dark of the night and you needed to get away in a hurry. It was also in part for when Toby decided that he wanted to rush off in a hurry and try to leave Samantha in the dust so that she couldn't find wherever he went off to again.

She was however fast asleep when he entered her room. Samantha slept on top of the covers of her perfectly made bed. sleeping in a mans button down and a pair of fleece pajama pants. She'd never admit that it was for the same reason that she kept the bag packed and ready to grab on the fly. But the truth was that even she was worried about the things humanity was capable of. Even in this land where she was so far away from home.

And It was the clicking of the door closing behind him that brought Samantha from a dead sleep to a state of alertness. Of course she didn't move. Moving was the absolute wrong thing to do when someone could have entered your room and have a gun pointed at you. Eyes where still closed and breathing was still regular. slowly in, and slowly out. Sam's body coloring slowly fading into a clearing sheen .starting at her feet and working slowly up her body. and once that was finished, whoever was in her room was going to be a work of art.

[Om Kennedy Yajna]

Over the years he'd been her statue plenty. Sometimes willingly. Other times not. Point was he wasn't looking to be posed as Frosty the Snowman right now and he saw what was going on with her feet. "Sammy. We need to talk. There's a problem." After he said that he turned around to make sure he'd shut the door. He had. Good. He didn't want to be overheard.

Blue eyes looked the room over as he took a few more steps inside towards the bed. He wasn't in here much. Usually she came over to his room. Checked up on him so much he barely ever needed to check up on her. Probably because she was paranoid she'd find he'd picked up and left without her again. Yet look at that. She too had a suitcase all packed up. But that was the problem between them. She was always yelling at him for things that she did too in her own way.

"Big problem." He was still staring at the suitcase. Beating around the bush wasn't his style. "There's a siphon here." Pause. What he was about to say he didn't want to say. He wasn't the type to talk about personal stuff going on with him. Samantha might not believe him anyhow. "I kind of slept with her." Pause. No use not getting straight to the point. "I didn't know what could happen through her. When I slept with her." Pause. What he said next he kind of growled. "Because she didn't f-cking tell me. Until after. -Weeks- after. God f-cking damnit." He jammed his gloved hands into his pockets. Because if he didn't do that, he was probably going to punch something.

There was a hell of a lot more to the problem than that. He knew how he made things sound vague too. But what he'd told her was a start right? Enough for Samantha to realize he had a reason for waking her up. Speaking of which. "Sorry for waking you up."

Least he remembered to say that.

[FirenIce]

"Just in case..."She said when she sat up, her voice cold and flat. her skin tone returning to normal when she reached over to turn the light on. she said that because she saw him looking at her suit case. hands coming up to smooth out her hair. but that all stopped when he said what their big problem was. Eyes widened greatly and then narrowed.

"There is a power thief here? And you slept with her?"Samantha furrowed her brow and shook her head, The woman's voice was back to its normal tone, though that was tainted with the the sound of confusion and apprehension. sitting quiet for a while, eyes watching his own. Wheels and cogs turning over within her mind It was only after that long moment of silence.

"So, You slept with a girl, and then several weeks later she told you she was able to take your ability? Who is she? How do you know she hasn't already taken your powers?" those where asked in her best, level, calm and collected tone. trying to sound scientific about the problem, it was the best way to solve a problem with scientific detachment from the situation. But she did soften her eyes, and ride from her bed, silently stepping towards her brother and wrapping arms around him."This is more important then my sleeping Toby. Thank you for waking me."

[Om Kennedy Yajna]

Hugging Tobias was like squeezing a bank vault. Under his skin his whole body was solid. He might even feel cold. What he was continually absorbing these days was different than any other substance out there. He was like a walking tank. Only more efficient, more likely to last, less likely to be infiltrated. One hand reached around his sister to touch her back. That was as close to hugging as he was going to get right now.

Part of him wanted to leave it vague. Let her think it was the girl who was the siphon. That was his fury talking. Seven sonofabitching years where he hadn't touched a girl and the first one he did....he felt played. When he stepped back from Sam he'd set it straight though. "Not -here-. Least not as far as I know. But where doesn't matter because this guy can use De'Ryanna to do his dirty work like a conduit. Before she said using her he could hurt me, kill me, sh-t like that." Obviously that part hadn't worried him. Samantha knew by now Toby didn't worry about himself.

"She didn't tell me he could use her to take my ability. Until a couple days ago." He tried to sound calm when he said that last part. Didn't work too well. Even if it did the way he was clenching his fists and how tight he stood would give just how pissed off he was away. "There's no way to god damn know if he's taken them already besides the fact she didn't think he had. She tried to say he didn't need her to do it anyway. Then she tried to say that he doesn't need my ability to kill people anyway like that was supposed to god damn mother f--cking make me feel better somehow but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see it doesn't!"

He'd started to raise his voice. He put a stop to that fast. Not because he didn't feel like yelling. Felt like roaring at the top of his lungs. Who they were talking about was across the hall. He didn't want this overheard. "And what's -really- f-cking ironic is that all this came up because I mentioned how if things ever calmed down I'd want to be cured. Like her telling me sh-t like this was supposed to make me change my mind and make me think what I can do is a -good- thing. What the f-ck." He swung his fist, like he was about to crash it right through her closet door but he kept the swing from connecting at the last second. Throwing his arms up and yelling loud as he dared. "Different planet same bullsh-t, What the f-ck am I supposed to do about this?!"

[Dex Kennedy]

"What the f-ck am I supposed to do about this?"

Toby was not the only one who knew how to follow someone home. If he had thought their altercation after Uncle Teddy's funeral was going to be the last he saw of his dear brother, he was dead wrong. Not after the bullsh-t he pulled. Oh yes. He knew the little a--hole and his motherly-wannabe sister would have stayed with their parents. His parting words had suggested as much. When would they learn their own parents were just as bad as everyone else? Hiding them, what they were, because their precious reputation as Kennedys was so much more important than their own children... pathetic. If it would not have turned into a weapon against himself, Dex would have outed the whole family a long time ago, himself.

So it wasn't very hard to dog their heels until they came back here, this little shack they had been hiding in. Toby thought he was so god damn smart. What Dex had found in that simple little head of his these last couple of days, though, had brought a sense of joy that he had not felt in a long time. The place he thought would be so safe from all the abusers and seekers of their power, was just as sh-tty and power hungry as back home. All Toby's arrogance and brilliant planning had all come crashing down... because his dumb ass had gone and made the same stupid mistake he made all those years ago. Ha. Just went to show. Those who thought they were the smartest were usually the dumbest sons of b-tches around.

That was why when they heard Toby's words echoed back at them, it was done so in a whiny, nasal voice that just reeked of mockery. Right about the same time they would hear the doorknob turn, and the door swing open. To reveal their dear, sweet brother Dexter on the other side. Smirking at the two of them. Inviting himself inside Sam's room, the door slamming shut behind him. Hands clasping behind his back, murky brown eyes casting between the two of them, before settling on Toby. That smirk persisting through the words that spit past his lips.

"Thanks for saying hi for me, Bias. How's Mom and Dad? As ashamed of us as ever?"

[FirenIce]

Sam fell back onto her bed when she started talking. sitting with a bit of a learn forward while Toby's words and concerns poured out of him. Sam wanted nothing more then to ease her brothers pain. hell that had been the primary motivator of his research. Making her good brother happy and easing the pain he was going through.

"Well, In any recorded instance of power transference, there has been notable effects on both parties.Grogginess, Lethargy Have you noticed feeling any different? Tired anything like that? more so then usual?" There you go Sam tackle one problem at a time. But she did have a point, the odds of someone taking his power without him noticing where waaaay next to zero.

'What the fuck am I supposed to do about this?' heard from the other side of the door, words that snapped the sisters attention over to said door. which was when she was rather surprised to see Dexter. their triplet. The Radical, convinced that the world was against them. And other any other circumstances she might have greeted him with a smile. but now, All he got was a roll of her eyes.

"Hello Dexter, yes please, enter my room and slam my door when there are people sleeping..." Her voice absolutely oooozing sarcasm at that. Yeah she thought such a grandiose display was rather childish. Standing again and giving her brother a bit of an evil eye before she spoke again."...Mom and Dad are fine... how are your smelly radical friends? still living in a hole in the ground?"

Apparently Samantha didn't take too kindly to such a tone being taken from the outset especially form a brother she hadn't seen in she didn't know how long. Which is why she took the exact same tone back with Dexter, offering him the exact same shit eating grin he was giving their brother.

[Om Kennedy Yajna]

God Damnit. He had officially gotten the karmic sledge hammer. He'd expected it, knew he wasn't going to get away scott free from beating on his brother. He just never expected the hammer'd come -now-. At the worst time. Worst. Soon as he heard the nasal mockery from the other side of the door he looked up at the ceiling.

Then he shut his eyes. Silently repeating something he hoped would save him: Om mani padme hum. Sonofabitch. Om mani padme hum. I can do this. Om mani padme hum. Don't lose it. Om mani padme hum. I love All. Om mani padme hum. I -can- love All. Om mani padme hum. Even things that deserve a punch in the face. Om mani padme hum...

"Let him be an asshole. He's justified. For once." He finally looked down. Opened his eyes. The first time he was in the same room with the two of them for what...two years? Pulling his hands out of his pockets, he folded them across his chest. "Your welcome." Looked right at his brother when he said it. He knew chasing Dex down was wrong. But he wasn't ashamed of what he did. Mistakes were mistakes. "I was grieving." Pause. "It was wrong." Pause. But he couldn't get himself to say he was sorry. Because he wasn't. That fact was something he'd meditated on a lot since they got back from Boston. To try to understand why.

Toby glanced at Sam after. But he couldn't get himself to explain to her, either. He never told their sister he saw Dex when they were in Boston. When she'd asked about his injuries he said he'd been wailing on a wall. Wasn't a total lie, if you asked him. All he did now was shake his head looking down. When he picked his head back up it was to look between them.

"So. Dex. Came all the way here to just mock my questions back at me? Seems kind of old news don't it? If you're so damn smart, prove it. Pose some -solutions- for a change. Instead of just getting on my damn case like you have for the past, what?" How many years he'd leave open ended. He made his point. Call him selfish - he didn't want to talk about their parents, he didn't want to talk about Dex's smelly friends. He wanted his problem solved.

But the real miracle? He didn't raise his voice, fist, anything. Om mani padme hum. He hoped it kept him steady longer than just five minutes.

[Dex Kennedy]

Poor retarded Samantha. There was a reason that Tobias and Dexter were the two trips that handled the insult and name calling department. Smelly friends? What was this, an elementary school playground fight? And she thought he was childish. His first instinct was to ignore her typically fail attempt at insult. But when he saw her smiling at him like she had said something clever, he couldn't let it pass. Looking away from Toby to focus on his sister.

"Samantha. Seriously. With all your schooling, and all the education you have, I was really hoping you would come up with something better than what I'd expect to hear from a kid who still sh-ts on themself. If you can't add something witty to this, or at least mildly interesting? Then keep that naive, clueless little mouth of yours shut. But, to address the things you said, and asked? F-ck the people staying here. Toby ranting and screaming the last couple of nights most likely kept as many people up as my door slam. And mine was a lot quicker than his tantrums. My... smelly friends? Are doing just fine. We're out and about, trying to set things right for people like you two, who are closer to being the ones hiding in a little hole in the ground, hiding from the rest of the world, and yourselves, than me and my friends are."

Toby had asked a question of his own, so he would again get Dex's murky brown gaze. "I don't give a god damn why you decided to come f-ck me up, Tobias. But you are right. You were wrong about one thing." Hopefully his little mantra was still going through that simpleton brain of his. Because Dex was closing the distance between them. Coming to stand directly in front of him. Face to face.

"I went to Uncle Ted's funeral to pay my respects to one of the greatest men who had ever lived. Even if I never got much of a chance to sit and talk to him as much as I wanted to, he was the one who taught me that people will walk all over you, if you're not strong enough and brave enough to stand up for yourself, and your beliefs. He didn't take sh-t from anyone. From his own family, or the rest of the world. If something was wrong, he fought to make it right. I was there to honor him. To thank him for all the wisdom he gave me, whether he knew it or not. And to do my best to carry on his legacy, now that he's gone. And I'm going to. I'm a fighter. I'm a Kennedy. Between the three of us? I'm the only one who deserved to be there to honor him. You two are exactly the people Uncle Ted, and now I, have to fight for. Those who are too afraid, and too weak to do it for themselves. You may not be proud of who you are... or what you are... but I am."

The sneer on his face persisted throughout the last half of his words. Starting as soon as he stressed their family name. And continuing on as he turned away from Toby, and Sam both, walking off a bit from them. "And now... you want to hear some words of wisdom from me, Tobias? Of all people?" Glancing back over his shoulder at his brother. "Fine. I'll give you a little insight into your f-ckup. It's really simple." Ceasing his movement, but keeping his back to the two of them. Though he was still glancing back at them. Who could blame him for not trusting either one of them?

"Both of you think that taking the high road is the best solution when people decide to trample you, use you, and treat you like sh-t. You know what doing nothing about the way you're treated tells those people? That you don't fight back, you're easy to control, and they can keep right on doing whatever they want to you. It makes you look weak. That is why, as you put it, Toby, its a different planet, same bullsh-t. As long as you don't stand up to anyone but me? You'll be a f-cking toy for anyone who wants to step on you."

Turning around then to face the other two triplets. Looking back and forth between the two of them. As much as he wanted to hate them both, for how weak they both were, he couldn't. Weak as they were, they were still mutants. Same as he was. He couldn't stop fighting for them, no matter how much he wanted to. He had a promise to keep to Uncle Ted. Brown eyes finally landing back on Toby. The sneer gone from his lips.

"Maybe it's time you took the other fork in the road, brother, instead of running away down the same old path."

[FirenIce]

Samantha was very good at poker face. you had to be when you where a Kennedy, doubly so when you where a radical member of the scientific community. So, When Toby tore into her about her rebuttal. She just sat there, arms folded over her chest , deadpan. eyes just watching her brother, and his current homecoming. Which really was shaping up to be a rather wonderful visit.

There where alot of things Samantha wanted to do to Dexter, involving but not limited to seeing him try and sap energy from someone while he's flailing from a third degree burn brought about by a slap to his face. Of Course he missed the brilliance of her come back. He couldn't, how could he? people seldom liked it when you used their own stupid infantile humor against them. It's alright though she expected a response similar to the one she got. Dex was good for predictability. Which is why she dismissed him and stepped into her bathroom for a moment, only to return just in time to see Dex really make an ass of himself holding a nice fresh glass of water, already drinking from it

It was he brought up uncle teddy and about how he was a better Kennedy then they where. That was when Samantha's poker face broke. The glass of water swung around to cover Dex's face in the water, The water itself freezing on his face, effectively shutting him up for a moment. Stepping forward and shoving her weight into Dexter, stupid silly boy had his back turned to them. when her hands made contact A wave of cold would wash over his body, Up against the wall her brother went next, spreading through the wall, a thick layer of ice building around him."How Dare you! You have no damned right to even say uncle Teddy's name in that context. You F-cking shamed uncle teddy!" She didn't scream that, she just growled it at him. right into his ear, holding him there." You're nothing but a terrorist Dexter... you can mask it however you like, pretend that you're doing the right thing... but in the end, its going to be you and your 'smelly' friends that are going to be the end of us all... You! who thinks that destroying a building, or holding hostages is a constructive way to make your point known... Maybe you should have stayed in School Dex, they teach you things like passive resistance... on the grander scheme of things... history sees them in a better light then people like you."

Samantha pushed back from him and stepped back, letting him break himself free of the wall."you're a f-cking moron Dexter...This isn't even about the greater plight of our kind. THIS! is about our brother, and his own fears and worries about someone not even on the planet F-cking earth... but you walk into my room and shake your finger like you know better then us. tell us we're bad Kennedy's because we choose the road that YOU don't like. I'm closer to uncle Teddy then you could be in your best wet dream...You're... closer to aunt Jackie's crazy relatives...(The Beals from Grey Gardens. crazy ladies, look 'em up)

Sam then took a nice deep long breath. and turned from Dexter, to Toby. Her calm tone back and her poker face back on" Toby, I think we should go... We need to get away for a night or two, try and figure out this situation with the siphon, try to figure out the best way to handle it..." Sam gave a nod. She had said her piece to Dex and well was effectively fodder to be ignored at the moment. but just in case Dex wanted to get slap happy she was smart enough to covertly position herself around Toby, putting him between herself and Dex, still frozen to a wall.

[Om Kennedy Yajna]

It's too bad no one else was here to see this. Because it was the answer to why Tobias smoked his damn hookah so damn much. He had half a mind to get it right now. Or to just leave, period.

Wasn't hard to see this was why the trips kept their distance from each other. What happened with Ryanna and that guy wasn't the only different planet same bullsh-t. Everything Dex said, Sam said, he said was different planet same bullshit. He wasn't about to have the same god damn fight with Dex and Sam again. No point to that.

So he didn't say anything about how Dex spoke to Sam. Even though it pissed him off. Didn't say anything about Uncle Teddy, even though that pissed him off too. He didn't say anything about Dex's solution, nothing new out of his brother's mouth and half of it pissed him off like usual. Just stood there solid with his arms folded across his chest. Staring between the two of them.

Didn't say anything about what Sam said back about Uncle Teddy. He didn't want to talk about Uncle Teddy. Didn't do anything when Sam froze Dexter. His brother could take care of himself. Didn't say anything when Sam shot back at Dex about passive resistance. When Sammy went behind him and make him a human shield he didn't say or do anything to change that fact. Just stood there solid arms still folded. Sighed. That was it.

"We're going away for a couple days. To figure out how to take care of the siphon." Emphasis on the last sentence. To make sure Dex got it that action was being taken. If the siphon was human Toby wouldn't consider Dex's road. It was a difference in how they saw things. To Toby a man is weak if he only picks on those weaker than him and Dex had that talent in spades. But this Benjamin wasn't human, he wasn't weak. For Tobias meant a whole new moral ball game. "Are you coming or not."

He hoped that by saying only that Dex and Sam got something else. That Toby's old rules were back - if there was something they were screaming about that he didn't feel like talking about, he wouldn't. Plain and simple. He'd come into Sammy's room trying to lay his personal business on the table for the first time, and the scene it turned into was enough to keep him from making that mistake again.

Still and stony. He came off that way but what was going on under the surface was different.

[FirenIce]

Samantha regarded her brother for a moment, glued to the wall, and his inaction to Toby's request, which brought about a shake of her head, She didn't expect Dex to not answer at all, and that he didn't, absolutely shocked her.

Samantha allowed the silence to linger for a long moment, just waiting, for, who knows what. an answer, some sort of reaction. but when nothing came, Samantha turned to face her brother, the good one. and looked up into his eyes."Come on Toby, he doesn't want to help us..."

A look over her shoulder at Dex before she stepped back from Toby and sat down on her bed to slide her shoes on. offering him a nod to show that she was ready to go, and that it was apparently his job to lead the way.

There was a moment where she considered grabbing her bag on the way out, the suitcase called out to her. but Sam actually liked this place the people where nice, besides the power siphon, and she was maybe hoping to come back once they had taken care of it.

[Om Kennedy Yajna]

It was quiet for a long time. He liked it. Didn't happen often when the three of them were together. If the situation were different he would have stuck here just to linger in it.

But they had to go. And Sam agreed. Tobias took one last look at Dex iced against the wall. "Don't touch her." Figured the her was implied since Dex had heard Toby spill and drop De'Ryanna's name. Before he headed to the door, he went over to his brother. Stood just out of reach. Looked him in the eye. "Or anyone else here. You fight this with us or not at all or else you're gonna answer to me." Shouldn't be a surprise to Dex hearing that from Toby. Just like Toby wouldn't be surprised to hear Dex say that didn't scare him any.

Took him a minute to realize what was different once he got out into the hall. "Lights are out." He glanced at his sister. "Look sharp, yeah?" He didn't bother going into his room for anything. Not even the hookah. He could find smoke and whatever else he needed wherever they went. They were Kennedys. The endless scratch was the one thing that came in handy when you were often on the run.

All he needed was the back way out. The rest would come later.

-End of Thread-

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