Can you feel it? (a log)

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

Going to ask someone for advice was not actually something she liked to do. It was rare that De'Ryanna asked for help from anyone - as she preferred to do the research and figure it out on her own - but there didn't seem to be enough time for all of that. Besides, this visit was being justified due to the fact that a first hand account was always a good source. She reminded herself of that very fact while she stood outside his door staring down the wood. After a few moments she brushed back her loose hair and made three simple knocks on his door. Not even bothering to feel inside to see if he was even there at this time of evening.

He was there alright. All she had to do was use her nose. A lot of smells coming from his room. Incense. Something stronger and herbal. No drumming though. He hadn't gotten that far yet. For him it was still early. The knock at the door threw him off. He wasn't expecting anyone and actually never expected anyone. Besides Sammy maybe. But that wasn't her knock. "Ayeah." Native Boston for 'yeap I heard the door'. A minute later he opened it. Dressed like normal for him. Dirty old grey cargos. A navy sleeveless tee. Barefoot, dreadlocks. No gloves since he was in his room. "Ryanna. Fancy seeing you here." A little grin. He leaned in the open doorway. "You're not here out of some smell ordinance are you?"

The door opened and her nose twitched and she took a partial step backwards. It was the sudden bombardment on her nose that she wasn't prepared for, but at least it wasn't a stench. Still, it threatened to make her sneeze and that is what she was trying to fight down. Because of all of this she went away from what she had planned on saying when he opened the door and went instead with, "Are you trying to induce a hallucination?" There was the slight hint of holding back a cough in her voice. It would go away very soon. "What exactly are you burning in there?" Nothing harsh in her words. Just off guard and slightly curious.

That made him laugh. Short laugh. "No. Nope. Not this stuff, no hallucinations here. If you're looking to hallucinate I should point out some mushrooms to you." A smirk. He didn't think she was actually looking to hallucinate. Though the idea of it was kinda funny. "And incense. I won't burn the place down. It's nag champa. Pretty standard blend. You've never been anywhere that burned incense before?" She had him thinking she needed to get out more. When he saw her reaction to the smoke he started waving his hand in the doorway. Trying to clear it away from her to see if that would help.

"Scented candles, yes." A hard blink. She was most certainly not going to rub her eyes with him standing directly in front of her, and a hard exhale to help clear her nose. "Pipes, cigars, pits, smoke houses, but not..that." Now, De'Ryanna thought that she heard him wrong for she thought she heard incest though in her defense it did sound the same as incense depending on your pronunciation. Therefore, to keep from having him laugh at her she didn't call it by the name at all. "Thank you. Do you burn it a lot? I dare say that it sinks into your clothes...." She started to look at what he was wearing before she looked back up to him "Nevermind that. that's not why I'm here. I'm here to ask you what may be a personal question.' as for her, she folded her hands down in front of her., wearing her usually full skirt - this time a mate silver with a matching bodice and ivory off shoulder top underneath.

"The incense? Yeah. Helps me meditate." Meditating was different than hallucinating. He stepped out of the doorway. Motioning for her to come in. If they were going to be talking about anything personal the door needed to be shut. He hoped that Sammy wasn't holding a glass to their shared wall. "Better that stinking up my clothes than other things right?" As for the other stuff he smoked that a lot too. But she wasn't asking about that. Once De'Ryanna was inside he shut the door. Gesturing to his empty place. Besides the rug on the floor. "Pull up some rug. Want anything?" To eat or drink he meant. "A beer?" Sounded good to him. He was already on his way to get one.

Seemed like neither of them liked being spied on and if she was going to have any sort of personal conversation it was going to be personal. She'd hate for someone outside the room to repeat what she said and therefore, as she entered in, she put an eavesdropping ward around it. It always felt so good to hold on to the Source, it was like life flowing into her veins and she was thankful that it was something she could still feel. "No thank you on the beer, though I will take a glass of ice if I may." Manners. Yes she had them. "What other things could harbor in your clothes? Despite your appearance you don't have a foul stench about you, save for after exercising, and there's nothing else in this room." She turned to watch the direction he was going. "Is it that incest that you refer to?"

He had no clue she did anything like that on the room. He couldn't feel that kind of energy. "Just ice?" He repeated it doubtfully. "No water mixed in there or some other kind of liquid?" He was already cracking a bunch of cubes into a glass and wouldn't put anything else in there until she said so. In the meantime he'd grab a beer. Twisting the cap off and throwing it into a glass filled with other caps. Bad college habit. "Plenty can harbor in your clothes. Thought I was a stable boy didn't you shoveling shit can really - " Did he hear her right? One of the few times Tobias did a double take and stopped in mid-sentence. "In -what-?" He was grinning. The type of grin he had when he was about to torture his sister.

"Just ice." The better to chuck at him if the urge came upon her. Like now with the way he was grinning at her. Unfortunately she didn't have the ice currently in her hands, nor did she have a cup. Not that either of them would really stop her from hitting him if that's what she really wanted. "That's all that I need." she said decidedly as she walked from her spot in the middle of his empty room and to where he was in the kitchen. Smooth, gliding steps. "And just why are you grinning like that? You're the one who's burning herbs for the mood of incest, not me, so don't get any crazy ideas in that head of yours." She almost gave him a defiant look too, it was there, though more of a challenge and she held her hand out for the cup.

He was trying to not laugh. Especially because laughing wasn't his thing most of the time. But his grin looked like a laugh ready to happen. "Ryanna." It was the break it to her gently tone. He gave her the cup of ice. Careful that his hand and hers only touched the glass and that their skin didn't touch because he wasn't wearing his gloves. "In-cense-. Like common sense. Or two cents. Or the five senses. Not incest. Have you met Sammy? Not my type. They might call us Kennedys American royalty back home but the inbreeding part of royal is no where near us. Europe can keep that." He nodded down at the glass. "You got a toothache or something?"

De'Ryanna needed more than simply ice right now. She needed something to rewind time back the last few minutes so she wouldn't have said the wrong word and what he said would not have been said. Instead she had a firm grip on that cup as she looked dead at him, working hard to keep her face neutral and not show her embarrassment. "In-cense. I see." She saw and she wanted to forget all about it. "I haven't smelled that either." cup in hand she turned from him to head back to the rug. Once she was looking away from him she closed her eyes and internally chastised herself for hearing the word wrong. Her.. hearing it wrong. Shows how off she really was. "No toothache, I like the way ice feels moving inside of my mouth." and she did. She wanted to make a comment about his sister.. but that would only open that door once again. "Never sucked on an ice cube before? You should try it. It's something interesting to feel." she paused. "Though I suppose what you feel varies on what you touch...?" the question asked she turned to look at him.

: "I don't know for sure but it smells a lot better than incest I bet." That was probably crass. Just his way. Even in front of a girl with manners. Then again. Saying she liked how ice moved in her mouth? The look he had said he thought that was kind of crass too. "I've sucked on ice cubes before. Never really thought about how it felt though. Is that the personal thing you wanted to ask me?" He didn't forget she wanted to talk about something personal. She was really slick tacking that question on but he could still do the math. He took a big swig of his beer. Bordered on a chug. He needed to think about that answer. "Um." Not a great start. He set the beer on the counter. Scratching a hand through his hair. "Yeah. It does feel different depending on what I touch. Which is why touching people especially around these parts isn't such a smart idea."

Partial answer. Partial answer to the question she was working to having answered. With his partial answer she turned around fully to look at him. One hand around the cup and her fingertips gracing the ice in the cup, waiting to pick up another piece. She didn't say anything right away because there was already one in her mouth and she only spoke once it was gone. "You can feel the cold when you have ice in your mouth?" She even took a step and another one closer to him. "What you can do, the absorption, it only works if you touch something with your hands? If you were to touch ice with your hands and then eat ice would you still feel the cold then?" it wasn't just a cursory curious question, they were pointed questions - she thought - and she looked rather serious about it, the only thing taking from her tone were her fingers in the cup.

Damn. She was upping the ante with these questions fast. Thank god he'd lit something besides incense tonight. It would keep him calm. He picked up his beer. Just taking a swig this time. "I can absorb anywhere. Skin to whatever contact is all I need. I just can control it everywhere else. My hands are the hot spot, too risky. If I haven't absorbed anything I can feel or taste or whatever fine. But otherwise. I mean do you think ice tastes other ice? Is there something wrong with you and ice? Because it might be better to ask Sammy." A thumb indicating the room next to him. "She can make her whole damn body ice for a long as she wants. Like a living ice sculpture. And fire. She can do the same with fire. I don't know what she can taste or feel when she's like that though I never asked." He glanced away. "I try to avoid talking about that sorta shit with her."

"I don't know Samantha." She said quickly. De'Ryanna was not keen on talking to people about things that concerned her when she did not know them. Even coming here to ask him was a bit difficult and she was trying to get an answer without giving away too much information however, just as she was asking questions, he was asking them back. Though, it seemed like the answer to her question was no. "Ice and I are fine. Would you... do you.. absorb things simply for the purpose of not being able to feel them? Like touching fire so that you can handle really hot objects and not get burned? And is controlling how long you are in that state.. is that something you've learned to do? Has it always been that way?" That was a bombardment of questions she knew and she glanced away a bit. "Maybe I asked to o many at once." That was the closest she got to saying sorry for the questions.

"I understand. I know her and I don't want to talk to her about it." A smirk. He was trying to lighten the mood. Because this conversation wasn't feeling too light. "Come on. You know the answer to that. I didn't touch putty that time at the bar so I could not be bothered by putty. I touched it because I knew you were going to try and punch my lights out and I didn't want a black eye to explain to my coworkers." Again a joke. He downed the rest of his beer. After he put the empty on the counter he crossed his arms. "But I absorb things to defend myself from unwanted sensations yeah. Or to defend myself period. As for the rest of what you asked I couldn't control it when it first happened. I'd be hard as a rock for days. Made gym class real awkward." True story. People noticed when a ball wasn't bouncing off a guy right.

Ah, there it was, a small glimmer of hope in all of this. He had something that he couldn't control at first but then he learned how. Her eyes widened slightly and she tipped her head to the side as a smile started to pass across her lips. Closer she stepped. Closer, but there was still distance. While she did have a thing about touch, when she started to know a person she could invade their space to a degree. "You didn't know how to control it at first?" it asked back to him. "Is it a mental thing? Mind over matter and all that? Something that anyone could learn if they set themselves to learning it?"

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

He didn't mind that she stepped in closer. So long as people didn't touch him they could get up in his space all they wanted. "Mind over matter's a good way to put it. It took practice and focus and self-control. Still does." It's what all the meditation was for. That and some other personal stuff. "Like I had to learn how to take ownership over my own body. Still can't totally control it in my hands. Trying to control my hands is like putting a sponge in the sink and wanting it to not soak up the water. It's just what my hands do. Like lungs breathe. But yeah otherwise it was just teaching myself." He was watching her. Noticing all her reactions and everything. He was being a good guy and not asking what all this was about.

Besides, it's not as it they haven't been close to each other before. De'Ryanna mulled it over, what he said. It was possible, but it would take time. Everything took time for control over abilities never happened over night. There was a process and if she could start the process then that would be better than where she was right now. "Is it something that you could teach Tobias?" It took her a moment to say it and not to say it in a quick and hurried manner but smooth and nonchalant. She failed at the last point and she felt herself begining to wring her hands and stopped. "There are a lot of things I have yet to learn and this is something that I really need to start on right away."

"Simple. Start smoking a hookah." Jackass. Even he knew that was a prickish thing to say. He meant it as a joke though. He didn't mean to do her wrong by saying that. A little grin. Before he held his arms out to give a shrug. "Well that depends, Ryanna. Are you going to tell me what's going on? Or am I supposed to teach you with my eyes closed and hope it does you some good?" Other people might let her get away with skirting around whatever the issue was but he wasn't. Tobias was a straight shooter and he expected the same of anyone he hung out with.

The invitation to smoke with him earned him a narrowed-eyed stare that could very well be translated into a bit of a growl though nothing was heard. No need for vocalization, the growl was seen visually, even in the way she tensed a little and stayed that way until he was finish talking. When she did speak her words had a slight cold edge. "If smoking a hookah is what it takes then you might want to get it prepared." Had she ever smoked before? No, but sometimes it was easier to bend a bit to get what you wanted than to beat against a solid wall. After that she popped two ice cubes into her mouth and took a backwards step before a turn as she moved away. She was not going to pace, she merely wanted to move away from him. "I can't feel heat anymore and it bothers me. I would much like to have that sense back. You came to mind when I thought of finding someone who might understand." Saying all this with her back to him.

Toby was used to getting that look from women. Getting glared at didn't bother him. She might be able to kill him with invisible forces like she told him that one day but she still didn't intimidate him. He figured if someone ever wanted him dead that badly it meant he was supposed to be dead. Besides the crap going down back home. That was different, part of something bigger than just wanting a single dude dead. "Honestly I don't know if it would help you. A lot of people say that it doesn't help me." He disagreed with this people and did it anyway. "You just woke up one day and couldn't feel heat anymore?" If he sounded confused it was because he was. "So you want to reteach your body to feel something. Instead of teaching your body to not do something." He was just trying to get this straight.

"I felt perfectly fine until that light-forsaken man took a hold of me and did something to my make up." Wouldn't take a genius to know that she was not too keen on the man she spoke of. Her hand was tightening on the cup she had given her. Most of the ice was melted by now but the cup was still cold and that is what mattered. She took a moment and simply breathed and even tipped her head down a bit and looked down to her cup feeling that he was watching her. "When I got back to the Inn and took a hold of a piping hot cup of tea I couldn't feel the heat. Not when I touched it not when I drank it. It only felt lukewarm. Did it burn? No, something as slight as that would heal instantly. I want to be able to feel when things effect me." There was another pause here as she was thinking on the last bit to say, or: perhaps she was settling her voice. "I told you how I am with touch. I'd rather not have my sense of feel go away."

"Hold up. Some guy got a what on you and did -what-?" Tobias had that look. Like he was the sole defender of the universe. He crossed his arms. Glanced at his closed door. Telling himself she didn't come to him asking to go kick some guy's ass. She came for something else. Still couldn't help what he was thinking. "Did something. And you don't know what? I'll help you all I can but I've gotta be straight with you. In a long run you'd just be treating a symptom. It'd be better if we were working on controlling what's causing you not to feel heat. Is there any way we can find out? Sammy's a scientist, maybe there's some test we can run or..." Something. They could think of something. "It's just heat? You can still feel cold, pain, everything else?"

"Touched me." A quick turn brought her around to face him again. "He touched me. That devil I told you of who can move through me and take things from other people. He held me. My body burned and I woke up like .. .like this." It was a hard struggle right now to keep her temper under control. There was anger and frustration and weakness all mangled in together and she reached in for another ice cube to find that it was all water. Without asking she headed to the small kitchen to get more ice. "And I swear if you make so much as a small pass about a passionate embrace I will kill you." Maybe that wasn't true, but it's what came out. To open the door she missed the first time.. and the second, the handle just not staying in her hand perhaps from nerves and she was trying to do too many things at once but whatever the reason she decided to give up on the door and simply sat the cup down and placed both hands, palm down on the counter and took a few deep breaths. "It's an ability. He can suffer a lot of heat, flames, inferno, hell fire and be fine." Without that chain she could get angry and there wasn't anything to remind her to reign in her temper, it was up to her to do it and she was trying to do so now. Thus her hands pressing down upon the counter. Control her temper. Control her temper. "As far as I know the rest is fine......'

The look on his face said WTF. "I don't know why you'd think I'd say that. Why the - " Now they were both telling themselves to calm down. Great. He was pissed she'd think he'd be flip about this. He was a jackass yeah but he knew there was a time and place. He shook his head. He had to do something so he didn't pick a fight with her. He had a bad habit of focusing on the wrong thing when he got offended. He snuffed out the incense in the burner. Grabbed his gloves from where they were and put them on. Doing things just to do them. Don't focus on the fact she insulted him. Don't focus on the fact he wanted to go kick someone's ass. Focus on her problem. He'd try. "Okay. So it's an ability like my shit's an ability and you want to learn to shut it off. Got it. I can help with that I think, yeah."

De'Ryanna simply stood there with her hands on the counter and taking a few deep breaths and thinking things through. She closed her eyes and her head dropped down, loose hair falling about either side of her neck. "I'm sorry." That was soft and she licked her lips and picked her head back up, fingers curling into a fist and pressing her balled fist now into the counter. "I am angry." The short sentences said as much. "It's... not your fault." It wasn't. She knew it wasn't. but it would have been so much easier if he did something that would cause her to strike out for she felt the energy anger caused.

"Then hit me if it's what you gotta do. Or break my fridge or smash the cabinets. I don't give a shit. It's all just stuff." Including him. "Just don't break the hookah. Then I might have to hit back." Seriously. He needed that thing. He didn't have any rolling papers. "But after you're done wrecking the joint you're going to get a crash course in meditating. There's no way you're going to mind over matter anything when things get to you like this." Hey pot I'm kettle. But Tobias had come a long way. And kept trying at it everyday. He didn't tell off De'Ryanna a moment ago and that was no small wonder. He didn't move. Just stayed where he was with his arms cross. If he moved it he knew he'd even up going out the door. Bad idea.

"If I hit you now it would do anything but calm me down." That was all she was going to say about that right now. .He can use his imagination and fill in what she meant. And it would have to be a physical touch because she wasn't able to grab a hold to the source when she was angry. Call it a fail-safe. It was all about control. If she was angry and in control it would be quite another story. She took one hand from the counter and pressed it between her eyes, holding it there and exhaling deeply. "It's just him. Always him." nothing more that she wanted to do but kill the guy who had the control over her. De'Ryanna held her hand to her forehead for a few minutes, all the while staying still and breathing, not saying anything to him. After she thought that she had herself in control her hand came down slowly and she turned to face him. Noticing his gloves. That he wore them now . . ."You wear them to meditate? "

He was using his imagination. And didn't ask. "Sounds like he needs to be taken care of. Did he come here?" He was thinking through some options to help protect her. When De'Ryanna asked about the gloves he dropped his arms. Looked at them like he was just noticing them too. "No. Just a reflex. Putting them on. Did it without thinking about it. I never wear them when I'm meditating. Do you want your first lesson now or do you want to just chill out? More ice? Protein shake? I don't have much in here." A point to the fridge as he went to open it.

He put on his gloves to help prevent a touch, lessen the chance anyway. That much she remembered and to her that meant that he thought it was necessary. Just in case a touch were to happen. She folded her own arms, crossed them across her waist and shifted her eyes to look away from him though her body stayed forward. "He rarely ever comes inside the Inn. It happened when I went to the market." Spoken softly. She had gone out since then for she refused to stay indoors from fear or paranoia. "I've taken up a lot of your time. I've done what I've come here for and you've agreed to help me. I've disturbed your insense." Saying it right this time. "You should be able to get back to it and relax. Not have to wear your gloves." It was the gloves.

"-Jesus Christ-." On the plus side snapping at her like that meant he was getting comfortable around her. "Do the gloves bother you? Here." He yanked one off and threw it at her. Not hard he was standing pretty close to her since he was at the fridge. Hard enough to reach her. Hit her in the collar bone maybe if she didn't move or try to catch it. "Here." Pulled the other one off and threw at her too. "Take them. Burn them eat them flush them down the toilet. But -stop-. I get that you're scared. I get that this is a crappy day. So I get you're not in the best mood but pull the stick out and friggin -relax-. You're here. You're safe. You're not disturbing me. I don't care about time or incense or whatever the hell else." He took her glass from her. "So let's get you some damn ice, sit down and take: a f-cking load off. Alright?" He figured this method would either work or get him killed.

Both. He threw the first glove at her, that was one. He threw the second glove at her, that was two. He kept talking and took the glass, that was three. And that was all that she needed before she clenched her jaw, her hand raised up and she went to strike him across the face. It wasn't a light hit, or small, if it made contact - and if he wasn't made out of putty or another substance - it may have stung. If he was a normal human it would have stung. Though this made her feel better, slightly, and invigorated. She wasn't angry, but...it was different. "That's for the gloves." And she stood there. Waiting.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

He had enough time to aborb something. But he didn't. Maybe he wanted to show he wasn't some living punching bag just because of his ability? He let her hand hit like it would any other cheek. Which is why his eyes closed after impact. And the area got red. He cracked his neck. Gritting his jaw. Sure the hit stung but that's not what his jaw was tight over. When he opened his eyes he was looking straight at the fridge. Opening the freezer. Chucking cubes in her glass one by one. Clink. Clink. Clink. The way he was tossing them in it was like he was trying to it sound like the cubes were saying bitch over and over. "Of -course- it was." He held out her glass. Expecting her to take it. "With that out of the way, can we take a load off?" He didn't wait for the answer. He was already grabbing heading to the rug. Towards where his hookah was sitting. Just calling his name.

It was probably a good thing that he didn't stick around long after that hit because her hand was itching to do it again. It was slightly thrilling and she wasn't sure why. But she took the cup with the other hand and as he walked away she flexed the fingers of the hand that had slapped him. They stung but she would get over it. She always did get over the pain. "You said I could hit you. Don't complain that I took up your offer at a time that was un-expectant." The gloves. She would pick up the gloves first, both of them. He said she could have them and she was going to take him up on that as well. Beside, getting them and rolling them together would give both of them time to not be directly in the others presence for a moment or two. All the better right? With the gloves and the cup of ice in hand she moved over to sit on the opposite side of him, lowering slowly to the floor. Typically she didn't sit on the floor as a habit and when she sat this time it wasn't cross legged but she sat on the back of her heels. Placing the rolled up gloves in her lap she fanned her skirt out around her. "Is this it?" she nodded to the hookah. This had to be what he had outside that day.. Though then she hadn't gotten a good look at it.

"I didn't." Complain. There was a lot going on in his mind but none of it was coming out of his mouth. Typical for him. When it came to some things Tobias wanted the time to sort them out first. Then he'd say what he wanted to say. If it turned out he wanted to say anything on it at all. If he opened his mouth in the meantime usually it was just nasty shit that came out. The kind of stuff he regretted saying later. Right now he focused on packing his hookah. It still had stuff in it that was smokable but he wanted something to do. There was a wooden box next to the hookah. That's where he pulled out the tobacco and the herb he mixed together to pack with. "Do you want me to get you a chair?" He didn't have any here but he could get into Sam's room next door. Once it was packed he put the rest back in the box and snapped the lid shut, picking up a lighter. "This is the hookah. It's not what burns incense, this is for tobacco and stuff like that."

An ice cube was pulled out of the cup and she popped it into her mouth, rolling it around with tongue as she watched him prepare the hookah. Her nose twitched a bit but that was because she was taking in the various smells of the herbs and trying to identify them all at the same time. A whole new smell would come to play once he lit it she knew. Of course, since she had the ice in her mouth De'Ryanna did not speak, instead she focused on the ice and it's chill. When she did speak again she was noticeably calmer. "I will not sit in a chair or otherwise while you are on the floor." It was rude. Now, if she did have a care for him or thought that he was beneath her then she would not have taken to the floor at all, especially not with the servant position she was in. "Are we to share?" Asked with a slight raise of her brow. She remembered what he said earlier about smoking the hookah for lessons and she was prepared for that. Or she thought she was. "Is that how it works?"

He had the lighter in one hand, and one of the three hoses in the other. Tip of the hose to his lips he flicked the lighter and held it over long enough to light the mixture. Inhaling while he did it. He smoked like a champ. Doing this often for years. So he took a deep drag. She'd hear the water in the bottom of the hookah bubble as he inhaled and pulled the smoke through it. After he dropped the hose he held the smoke in. Taking without exhaling. "Just remember I asked." Smirk as he exhaled the smoke. He blew it to the side. Away from her. "I was kidding when I said that. You don't need to smoke this to learn how to get it under control. Unless you've got inhibitions you think'll get in the way. This can help with that." He picked up one of the hoses holding up. "Smoking is a community thing some places. Communal. Sign of brotherhood, friendship. That's why a lot of these have more than one hose. There are some with six. I've seen a few with even more."

Quick intake of breath to get the scent of what he put out and let it fill her system so that her body could process it. "Like drinking tea." She related it to drinking tea because she didn't share her Silver Needle tea with just anyone and if she offered to share it then it was something special. It was part of the reason why the problem with not feeling heat upset her. As she thought about it she dipped her hand back into the cup of ice and fingered the second piece but she didn't take it up yet. "I tend to value control Tobias, as such I believe that I have many inhibitions set in place to keep me from doing certain things. Without them in place I probably would have continued to go after you even after you gave me the ice." She picked up the ice cube. "And that may not have turned out well for either of us." She put the piece into her mouth.

"Like that, yeah." He didn't say anything about her continuing to go. He was still thinking about that. Wasn't ready to say anything about it. "There's that saying about there being more than one way to skin a cat. Ever think about that Ryanna?" Had to be true. Since he liked having control too. But they had different ways of going about it. "Do you think you really know yourself? All of yourself?" It wasn't a challenge. It was a real question. From the school of belief which guided Tobias' life since he went to India. He left the hookah alone for now. Keeping his eyes on her instead.

Why did he ask her the questions that other people avoided? The questions that only one person has asked and she hadn't even answered them. It's because the trained answer she had wasn't the right answer and therefore it wasn't accepted. De'Ryanna looked at him and kept her eyes focused on him. She knew it wasn't a challenge. "I know what I was trained to be and what I want to be. Or I did until my father showed up." And that seriously changed everything when he awakened the beast side of her and that threw everything out the window as well as the firm grip she had no her control. "For without the training and discipline I'd be a danger to myself." That last part was a trained response. Something that had been engrained in her since she was little and it was discovered that she could reach the Source. All women who could reach it - and men - had to be trained less they run rampant and break the world, or kill themselves.

"What if learning how to shut off the ability that guy gave you means you have to be something different than what you've been trained to be or what you want to be? Or do you want to shut off that ability -because- it doesn't fit into what you've trained to be or what you want to be? How do you know what kind of danger you might be if you don't know all of who you are besides how you were trained to act? Can you really prevent danger if you don't know what danger is? If you don't want you you don't have to answer those. These are just things I think you need to think about. Or that you're gonna have to think about. When you meditate you have to give it all or nothing Ryanna otherwise there's no point." His mood changed. The way he said things wasn't him being irritated with her hitting him. That wasn't on his mind anymore. He'd meditate on it when he got the chance. She asked for his help so this was more important. He wanted her to know that he knew what he said to her probably wasn't easy for her. But it had to be said. He picked up the lighter again and one of the hoses. Lighting the packed herbs on top and inhaling again.
.
"Everything has an order. It has to make sense. Going on a journey of self- exploration is not what I need. It will have me loose focus and become vulnerable for I will not be able to concentrate on what I need to concentrate on to prevent the dangers." She wasn't watching him anymore but she was looking straight ahead. "The greatest danger to me is in loosing the control I have and being overcome by all the anger that is inside of me.. That's why I try to stay focused and straight and on point. It's why I dance." Breathing a bit without saying anything. Simply thinking. "If I simply let go the anger will rise up and I'll become the beast and he will well up inside of me and I think I'll loose myself all together." She lightly licked her lips and turned her head down. She didn't fidget but continued to sit still there upon the back of her heels.

"No journey of self-exploration, huh? So you've figured out how to shut off that ability you don't like?" He wasn't trying to be a prick. They were coming from different methodologies. In his if you aspired to something that you couldn't do that meant you needed to search within to find what you needed to achieve. He wasn't from Rhy'din. His abilities weren't tied to magic. He couldn't poof a box of tissues by snapping his fingers or know some words she could say that could shut off the ability or anything like that. If he did he'd totally tell her. But he didn't. "I understand where you're coming from." He did. He'd denied himself a lot since his freshman year in college in order to try and control what he couldn't control. "Seems kind of shitty though doesn't it? Living a whole life out of fear of losing a self you don't really know because you didn't let go to know it."

"Life isn't fair now is it?" She said back at him. "No, it's not. There are some things we have to accept or learn to do without for the sake of some cursed greater good that everyone likes to talk so highly about." Quickly she put another piece of ice into her mouth and crushed it between her teeth this time because she needed to crush something after having said that. "And what will happen if I try this letting go and I turn into someone, or something, that I don't like? Something worse than what I already am that will really give cause for people to keep their distance from me? What about then? Once you make a change you can't bloody well act like it never happened and go back to being how you were before. You can't change what's already been done." Now the last piece of ice. "Chains gone but it still burns." Said before the ice went in.

"Nope. It's not. But if that means we all have to lay down and be life's bitch that means Sammy and I should go home. Turn ourselves in to the load of people in charge there who want to dissect me in the name of that greater good thing you're talking about." He flicked the lighter and took another pull from the hose. Speaking but trying to exhale as little as he could to do it. "Let me ask you something. Just to get your personal opinion on it, seriously. Off the record, don't read into this. Do you think it's a good idea for me to keep celibate and alone for the rest of my life?" He didn't know what she meant by the chain. If she told him about a chain he didn't remember. But look at how much he smoked was him forgetting something a surprise?

To her, him trying to control his ability worked out for the greater good, though others would see the dissection as the greater good. "It's logical that the viewpoint of the greater good is determined by which side you are looking at it from for we all don't see things the same way. As for your question....” trailing off because she was looking at him again, studying him carefully from his dishelved array of dreadlocks to the short pants that he wore. Even to how his chest rose and fell while he breathed and for a moment she thought that if she listened hard enough with her ears she might even hear his heartbeat.. But that was wishful thinking and it was a thinking because that would be the ultimate way to study someone, but she wasn't able to do it. When she was done she looked back to his eyes. "Off the record? No. Some things are worth risking everything for. Even yourself." But finding those things was not always easy.

"If the greater good can change based on who's on what side of the fence defining it it's not really the greater good. It's just an opinion. Motivated by personal bullshit. Strong armed to get people to do what they want in the name of something bigger than their own greed. Can you tell I come from a line of politicians?" He asked that bitterly. He shook his head. He shouldn't be feeling bitter. He smoked enough to be beyond bitter. "There's no risk for me. That's not a factor. Is it still right to risk other people? Including the person I find?" There was a reason he was asking these questions. She was from a different upbringing and seemed pretty deep in it. He wanted to see what her perspective was.

She smiled in spite of herself and what he said. De'Ryanna smiled because of how he sounded, like the people at court who knew how to use words and turns of phrases for political gain. Yes. Yes she could tell he was from a line of politicians. The small smile was still there and she nodded her head. "No. No it's not right for you to risk other people to simply put to ease your own desires or wants. But the person that you find, they are different and are not like other people. For that person will understand the risk and they won't care, and they will stand by you and be the force you need. They will be able to take what you have and not die." She smiled again, though this time a small chuckle was added before it faded. "Those people are not chosen lightly and in part of my bringing we bond those people to us when it is certain that they are the one. It's rare thing."

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

"I don't know. If I had a gun. And I had to shoot someone I loved for some higher purpose. And they were telling me it's okay yes shoot them...I wouldn't feel any better about it. Even if they didn't care." Which is why he felt the way he did about what happened in college. Because it was worse. The other person didn't think what happened was okay. He didn't blame them because neither was he. "It's good that you'd risk losing yourself for something though. Someone." It meant that she wasn't a zealot about her beliefs. And it's what she said right? She told him some things were worth risking even yourself for. Even if they'd been talking about him he figured it was a two way street. "Bond? Like with rope or marriage or what?"

"If killing that person saved a lot of other people then the sacrifice was worth it. Nothing to feel cheery over but their life wouldn't have been in vain either." Her sister tended to believe that too, but that was because of her religion and what she was. As for the bond, De'Ryanna mulled it over while she fiddled with the empty cup in her hand and she looked down to the rolled up gloves in her lap. "You could say it's an invisible rope that ties two people together until one is dead or the bond is removed. Removal isn't as simple as untying a knot. And it's not marriage. Some would say that it is deeper connection than that." She felt a bit uneasy talking about the bond. It was something that she wanted, but it wasn't exactly a topic for casual conversation between two people who were not pointed in the same direction. so her tone was softer. "That person becomes a part of you, you can feel them within you all the time. They fill you. You can draw upon each others strengths when you are weak. You'd never be alone and they will always... be there for you." She glanced up at him from time to time but for the most part she looked at the cup. "You can feel the others emotions, their pain, anything that they go through, and you can always find each other from no matter where the person is. Protect each other. The two don't usually marry, but it isn't uncommon. to be bonded unwillingly is a horrific crime. "

The sacrifice was worth it. What happed years ago was different than his example. He said that example to make a point. Point made he wasn't going to keep up that subject. "That is one hell of a bond." He laughed. More like a hoot. He wasn't laughing at what she told him. Just when he applied that concept to himself. "I get why it'd be a crime. If I made a bond like that with someone Sam'd probably say I was trying to torture them. Then again she'd probably kill to get a set up like that. Then she'd know everything wouldn't she? Be nowhere for me to hide." He moved the hookah and the box away. Slid back a couple inches to sit against the wall. So he had somewhere to rest his head. "Do you want a bond like that?"

If she thought that he was laughing at her...he wouldn't be resting comfortably against the wall. That was certain. "Torturing them. Is that because of the things that you contain? The two people don't have to be perfect. Being able to endure and sharing with each other is part of it. Each typically one bonds one person. It takes a lot of trust." since he was right about the person knowing everything. "The bond can be blocked, or muted so that the other can't feel what is going on but.. that's not to easy and defeats the purpose." She gave him a very brief smile. "I would like one. It's one of the things that I want in life. I willing bond. Not the one that I have now. A person of my choosing. "

"Yup. That'd be why." Good thing she knew he wasn't laughing at her. "Being able to endure. Interesting way to put it. Do you want a bond like that so you don't have to talk about stuff? The person would know and wouldn't have to ask?" It was obvious when De'ryanna didn't want to answer a question or talk about something. Least he thought so. "And that guy you hate has a bond with you that you don't want? Didn't you say that was a crime?" Moment of silence. He rubbed his fingers through his dreadlocks. Look on his face was relucatant. But he decided to say it anyway. "Part of what you said the bond does my brother can do. To anyone though. Steal the strength right out of them and use it to do all sorts of crap. He used to do it to me all the time."

It may only be obvious because she was talking to him. She certainly wouldn't have this conversation with anyone. Tobias has managed to get himself listed on a very short list. "If the guy who has my bond could be punished he would and I'd strip him down and kill him without as much as a thought on it." If that didn't make her hate of the man apparent than nothing would. "You must have been upset, or annoyed a your brother for doing that to you. Taking advantage of your abilities like that. I would have. I hardly like being used as someone else's toy" Toy. That word was stretched a bit and she let her eyes close. "If the proper person has it I wouldn't be a toy. Or a thing. An object. With the bond I wouldn't be alone. I wouldn't have to handle everything alone." Her eyes were still closed but she turned her head away from him and towards the direction of the door.

Tobias looked surprised. "He's my brother. Shared a womb with me and Sammy. I didn't mind it. Used to bulk up on stuff. High protein high energy. So I could handle him doing it when he needed to. He needs to be in the same room to do it though. Which is a good thing considering." He didn't say considering what. "Course there were times he pissed me off. I got him back by tattooing a bumble bee with the words 'Honey Bee' over it on his ass when I was in his body one time. So whenever he got laid the girl would see it and think he was batting for the other team." He Sam and Dex sometimes found themselves in the body of one of their sibs. Usually without warning. None of them liked the experience enough to try to learn to do it at will. "Why can't he be punished?"

"I've gotten annoyed at my brother before for always pouncing me as he did." Her brother was a playful sort when he wasn't being about business. "Trying to punish that man is like trying to punish god. No one's been able to harm him without him controlling or killing them first. I'm not saying it's impossible, it just has yet to be done. He's old, very old, and hasn't gotten to be the way he is by telling off his secrets of vulnerability." if he has any. "And while he may know everything about be he blocked the bond on my end. All I know of him is what he's allowed me to know. And what I know is hardly enough to put an end to him. "

"Like I said. He's pissed me off before. Haven't talked to him in over a year. Nearly two years." A shrug. Sammy was a lot more upset about Dex and how he turned out than Toby was. Some people just turned out not how you wanted them to. It was Dex's life not theirs. "So this guy. He knows everything? He knows this conversation right now and what you're thinking and that you're trying to reverse what he just gave you? And he's not coming after you for it? Why does he want a bond from you anyway? Is it because of that invisible stuff you can do?" Like what she did to him the day he found her dancing.

“Wouldn't you want me too?" That wasn't suppose to come out, but it had and her cup was empty. Don't answer that.. don't answer that, was the plea inside her head to Tobias. All the good it would do since he couldn't read her mind. "He could be listening in, he may not. The only thing I've done so far to probably peek his interest was getting angry. He has other people and projects to attend. Why always be over me when he can have my attention whenever he wants." Nearly whenever she would argue. "He can do a lot more 'invisible stuff' than I can. but he likes power. I have power. I have family with power. I'm a Were. He says I have the 'potential'. But for what, i don't know. To be like him I suppose. and what he does grooms me, trains me. I don't want to me like him and he knows it, but it makes no difference to him for he says that eventually I will see things his way and will willingly submit. No that I'm of age he's switched his tactics to involve touch." She rubbed her arm with her free hand.

He definitely couldn't read her mind. He couldn't even read Sam and Dex's minds just was in their bodies sometimes. Being in their bodies made him real glad he couldn't read their minds. "Huh." Could be listening. Maybe not. What she said reminded him of Dex. He was groomed. Sam called it brainwashed but Tobias called it groomed. Toby didn't believe in brainwashing. Especially when it came to Dex his brother made a choice. "Then all you have to do is not submit." Sounded easy when Toby put it like that but he knew it wasn't easy. "Must be hard having conversations with people. Knowing that he could be listening to what they're saying." Just an observation. He leaned forward some. Looking down at the gloves still in her lap. Then at her. "Ryanna your invisible stuff is the last thing about you I'm interested in." He wouldn't want her for that.

That was a comforting thought. The people at the Tower, where she was trained for the Source, wanted her because she was strong in the ability. Her Foster-Father wanted her to boost his hand in the political games with her abilities, and then there was that man... The Inn was a place that she wanted to be. When Tobias leaned closer she didn't move back even if she may have wanted to, and she didn't even move to cover the gloves when she saw him looking at them. She cleared her throat a bit and lifted her chin and gave him a bit of a smile. "Thank you. If you want to touch me you're going to have to do so without these gloves."

He grinned. Couldn't help it. Shook his head too. "I don't get it. Every time I see you you're about being in control. Doing what's smart and right to do. But you'd rather me touch you without the gloves. Which doesn't jive with all the rest of what you want, at least to me. It's because you're a Were, right? That you're worried about losing yourself? And you've been dealing with handling that all your life right? What'll happen to me when I touch you and absorb that? I've sure as hell never had to deal with that kind of thing before." If something like that happened he didn't know how long it'd last. He'd been damn careful about not touching people because he didn't want to find out. He knew how long it lasted when he touched Sammy. But they were related. She told him those results might not be accurate with a non-relation.

He did have a point. A bigger one being that if he absorbed her power she couldn't really tell him how to control it because it would turn to the male side of the Source and that side was handled differently than the female side. Who knows what would happen. She set the cup down on her side and unrolled the gloves and placed them on the ground space between them. " It lessens the chance of you actually doing it." Not that she wouldn't want him to. "I may be a little afraid." What it took to get her to say that.

He was still grinning. "Are you telling me you slapped me before for putting the gloves on because you thought I just didn't want to touch you?" He was incredulous. Amused too. It looked like he might laugh. He didn't laugh but he did say it. "That's funny. I'm just trying to keep everyone safe. If you weren't afraid of losing control over it yourself I'd take the risk. I'm used to changes. It'd just be another change. A huge crazy new one. But something’s are worth the risk right?" He didn't pick up his gloves. He picked up her glass instead. Rolling it between his hands. Touching something she was just touching.

"That's the reason, yes." And it was! How shocking...or not so much. "You were fine without them on until I started to loose control. That's when you put them on. Like you were protecting yourself from me.. I'd be more than happy to slap the other cheek if you would like a replay." Or if he did want to laugh at it. Right now she couldn't see that it was funny. Though the thought of hitting him again gave her that pleasant sensation again. She watched his hands. "Though I suppose that now you would feel like the cup."

“Listen." A lean forward again. Looking right into her eyes. His were blue. Looked darker when he was moody. "I was trying to protect -you- from -me-. Okay?" Then he smirked. Drumming the glass with the tips of his fingers. "Does that make you want to take a crack at me?" He made the pun on purpose. "See if I'll break. If it'll make the same sound?" He still looked entertained. "I can control touching things with my hands 6.69 out of 10 times. Sammy wanted to do tests." So she'd know why he knew the exact number. His sister was a scientist and all her research was on mutants.

Someone should tell him that some stares could be considered confrontational to wolves. Especially untrained wolves or testy ones and he was leaning in, staring at her, and that feeling she had only rose a notch. An extra drop of adrenaline. "It does." For she was staring right back at him. Her eyes were brown and they almost flashed like an animals. Almost. She leaned forward a bit. "It certainly does. Like playing a game of Roulette. And you would retaliate. Would you? You'd let me do it."

They were both leaning forward now. Toby wasn't bothered by the closeness. He had no problem looking straight into a person's eyes either. Maybe he caught the different details in her eyes. "I'm roulette?" A laugh. "I didn't know you were the kind of girl to gamble, sister." First time he'd called her that in a while. He was still holding the glass. Stopped tapping on it though. Had he absorbed the glass or not? He wasn't saying. "Should I not let you do it?" He didn't forget about that slap earlier. He was still thinking about it.

Like last time, he had the chance to absorb something, and this time he probably had. There was only one way to really find out and it was something she wanted to do. "Maybe," And it was something she did not hesitate to do. Just as the word left her mouth she did what she had said earlier: made to strike him against the other cheek. A reminder? Maybe? A test? Possibly. Maybe she wanted to see if he was going to take the hit. He had to be expecting it, and if he was going to strike her back. Surely he couldn't have forgotten what she hinted at earlier about hitting him.

She'd get her answer. And he was prepared for it. Part of him was always prepared to be slapped. It didn't feel like when she'd hit him by the fridge. It'd feel like hitting something harder. His face didn't give to hers. After the hit she could watch something Weird. A red outline appeared on his cheek in the shape of crack lines. She'd cracked him under the surface of the skin. Not a huge crack since it had just been a slap. If she touched it it'd feel like pressing at a broken mirror. Give around the cracks. "Now we know it's a cheap glass." A smirk.

[De'Ryanna Aybara]

It was harder, and that meant that her hand stung and she'd feel that sting for a handful of moments too. Now she would focus on what she saw happening and not the rise in adrenaline or faster pace her blood was beginning to flow in, and her breathing. What would happen if she hit that same cheek with the same force for a second time? Would it crack more or would it simply break? Two of the questions that popped into her head that she wasn't going to ask and she was holding back from hitting him to find out. Though she did flex her fingers. "Good thing you're not glass."

"You look excited." It was her breathing that did it. He noticed it and maybe something in the look of her face. "You always do after you hit me. Why do you like hitting me so much?" It wasn't an accusation. He made sure to ask it quietly. The red marks were fading not because he wasn't glass anymore but because slap marks fade after time. He stayed where he was leaned in watching her. "This glass sure. But there's stronger glass that hitting me wouldn't crack. It's decent to defend myself with."

De'Ryanna wasn't surprised that it was obvious. The excitement. Pretty soon it was going to show in her eyes if aggressive actions were to continue back and forth. "It... brings a good feeling. And the way you may look at me afterwards. like when you gave me the ice." That was a challenging stare then. "Aggression excites me." that's what it was. As to what else it did, she didn't have words for it.

"Excitement thrill? Doesn't worry you that you're going to lose control? I like that. That you don't ignore a good feeling and you go after it instead. You had me worried earlier that you turn your back on stuff like that in the name of staying in control." He was about to instigate her. Picking up one of his gloves he put it on his left hand. The right one he picked up but he didn't put it on. He used it to give her a tap on the cheek. The other cheek right after it. Tap, tap. Not hard. Definitely not a slap.

"You may not want me to go to far." If she went to far with a feeling, an aggressive feeling, she did fear that she might shift. And if she shifted then she wouldn't have any control at all. "I'd worry if I went to far," but he was only adding fuel to the fire. He didn't hit her, but it was all the same - to a point - and therefore she didn't slap him but instead pushed him back roughly with her hands upon his chest. And there was a quick flash of her eyes.

He'd feel heavier to push. More solid. Like pushing a heavy metal door. Her push obviously didn't hurt him. Back hit the wall that's all. Hands went back to catch himself."I have ways of making it hard to hurt me. That why you risk it? Because you know if something happened I could handle it?" Kind of crazy thought, when Toby was rock or metal or putty or whatever what really happed to his insides? Were they even there to kill? Had to be there somehow...right? Rocks didn't live but he lived still after he touched on. That was something his sister wanted to experiment and study real bad. He wouldn't let her. A little grin. Maybe he noticed her eyes.

She wasn't that easily put off either. He was harder to push but that didn't make much difference. Though he was against the wall now. "Can you really handle it?" Starting to be unladylike for to retain the distance she had to move up on her knees and move forward on all fours, but only for a step or two. "Would you want to find out? No one can hear us outside of this room." Invitation, challenge, she didn't mean to challenge him for to really do that would mean to change and she wasn't going to do that. She wasn't going to do that. "Maybe if I push hard enough you'll push back." It was rising in her eyes. .That hint of animal nature. The feral side she kept down.

He set the glass down on the floor beside him as she was coming toward him on all fours. Not many times he'd had the pleasure of seeing a girl coming at him in that position. It made him grin. "I can handle it." That was a fact. He stood up just as she stopped in front of him. Her on her knees and him standing over her. "Maybe you don't have to push for me to push you back." Sure enough pushed her. He used his foot instead of his hand. On purpose and it was more than just not touching her. He figured being pushed by a foot she'd get more bent about it. He slid his hands into his pockets when his foot did the deed. Who knew what he had in there to absorb. Not to mention all the stuff in the pouches on his belt. He pushed her because he felt like she needed it. That it was her way of getting the stuff that made her upset go away.

Game of Roulette, what would he touch now and what would she feel. If she had teeth to bite she would have bit him plain on the leg. But she wasn't in that form and she most certainly was not going to open her mouth and bite him that way. Instead she grabbed his leg with her hands and heaved to toss him to the side. Now, De'Ryanna was not a physical fighter, so she did not have their skill, she had extra strength, but not the skill to back it up. But she did have the Source.. And her aggression was starting to focus because she was looking for a result and she wasn't angry... The only thing she had to worry over was the shifting.. And her heartbeat was going faster.

He'd definitely touched something new. He felt heaver. His foot hit the floor hard because of the change in weight. This was why he lifted so much. To be able to move his own body well no matter how heavy it got. She stayed on her knees. It was an interesting choice. After she shoved him he crouched over enough to push her with both hands. She'd feel the strength behind that much weight. Not full force but he made sure she felt it. Wasn't the thing he would have picked to absorb if he had the choice it was just what was in his pocket. He'd wanted to keep out of his belt for now. He was only wearing one glove. So when he shoved her with both hands he was playing Roulette too.

A dangerous game. Who knew what he would take from her, if anything since he said there was a percentile. Maybe it would be the Were since that was more prominent at the moment. But it was when he touched her in the forceful way that something inside of her snapped. Like one of the cords that bond her other side in check. She felt that strength and was pushed back. A low growl coming from her throat and her eyes narrowing. What did she do but lash back at him. Nearly almost sprinting forward for a tackle but her hand was curled to a fist and it was that hand which was directed to his jaw.

It would be like smashing a fist into a metal beam. Like the type they used to make building foundations. Maybe it was exactly that. Toby had hunted down some real specific stuff. Keeping it wherever he stayed so he'd have it if he ever wanted to carry it. Or needed it. His face didn't move much. He absorbed most of the impact. If slapping him hurt this would hurt more. Depending on how hard she hit she could be in danger of fracturing her hand. He didn't feel anything besides the impact going inside of him absorbed. His hand gave her a slap. Not hard. Just a taunting smack on the side of her cheek. Then one to her neck.

Sure. That hurt her hand something bad and she felt the bones crack. Even as they cracked they started to reform. "Don't. Patronize. Me!" Were the words she growled at him before she pushed back and off of him. Getting to her feet her stare at him was hard and cold. There was something else triggering inside of her now and smile was not a friendly one. And there was something different about her stance. She didn't even reach out but she felt the Source, a Source, in her and she took it. "I wonder if metal can breathe." Just like that she made bounds of air around his mouth and nose. It wasn't like her. She wouldn't aim to kill him.

Was she aiming the tests Sammy always wanted to? He felt it. Air being cut off. It wasn't affecting him yet. He was keeping calm. He didn't know what was going to happen but he knew getting crazy wouldn't help. "Control yourself." He countered. Stepping towards her. Looking right into her eyes. He didn't hit her or anything like that. If this was her losing it he wasn't going to push her harder into losing it. Would be bad for both of them.

Loosing, but not lost. Loosing was causing destruction, lost would be to kill. Still, one thing lead to another. Fortunately the bounds didn't grow tighter but if they stayed he would suffocate. If he had the organs and needed to breathe. His words were met with a growl and a flexing of her fingers. "Stay back. Don't come closer."

Toby became what he absorbed but to a point. Obviously since there was his skin looking normal. He still that a brain and organs and nerves and all that. They changed when he changed but still. He was a living thing. Living things needed air. It would take longer to suffocate him. But he was starting to feel it. Lungs crying for air. She'd hear it in his voice. "Why not?" He didn't move. Stayed where he was for now. He was definitely holding onto the metal he touched. If he let it go it'd be impossible last this long without air.

De'Ryanna was breathing heavily and she took a few steps back. "I don't want to kill him. I don't want to kill him." Saying it more to herself than to him and the constraint against Tobias' mouth loosened. it was still there, but it wasn't as tight. Maybe allowing for a bit of air to drift through. "I don't want to kill him." She was still holding on to the Source and where that chain had been she felt a strong burn and she hugged herself until she hit the wall on the other side of the room. When she did the Source was dropped, the bonds were gone and she sunk down to the floor, knees pulled up to her chest and head buried against them.

A bit was all he needed. Toby needed enough air to just keep his brain switched on and his heart beating. Less than normal people who needed to keep their whole body running with every inhale. A deep breath didn't get him much but it was enough. While she was on the move he kept still. He didn't know if movement would take the air he need but he wasn't going to try it. "De’Ryanna. It's okay. We're okay." Said firmly. He wanted her to know he wasn't angry. He wanted her to sit up and relax and talk to him.

"I have to go." nearly whispered as she was there on the floor with her head down. A clear note of panic in her voice. "I have to go." said again but she didn't move yet and was still perfectly still there on the ground. He couldn't see it but she had her eyes squeezed shut tight and was now biting her lip just as hard that she could break the skin. "I can't do that again."

He wasn't surprised. He figured she was going to say that. That didn't mean he knew the right thing to say back. Because he didn't. Part of him didn't want to let her. But part of him knew stopping her would make him a hypocrite. He ran from a lot of situations. He frowned. Moving towards her about two steps. Slowly. In case that little bit of air was about to be taken away. "I'm not angry. But if it would help you then go." He paused. "You don't have to." Just so she knew he wasn't kicking her out.

What she needed right now was something she didn't expect to get. Ever. And had grown use to it over the years. It was a warm and comforting embrace that helped to make things better. It always seemed to make things better when she observed it being given to other people. Pushing herself up to her feet she kept her head down and arms about her waist. He said she didn't have to go but she didn't believe it for what it was, rather thought that maybe he was being polite. Nothing would happen to him as he stepped closer, he was free to move around and breathe. "I'm sorry." Good thing was that Tobias wasn't freaked out and yelling about witches or trying to kill her. Probably because he was use to people doing the same to him and his family. And she went for the door. Couldn't be too far from it.

It was a good thing she gave him air back. When she apologized he sighed. He should have kept the sigh to himself but she'd be able to hear it. Walking out of here because she wanted to be alone to gain control was one thing. But walking out apologizing like she had her tail between her legs was another. That was something he did. It was why he tried to move out and come here. Felt sorry for some stuff he'd said to Sammy. So he knew he'd be a hypocrite stopping her. But he was. Moving to meet her at the door. "Hey." He put his hand on her shoulder. The one with the glove on it. Turning her so they could look at each other. Pretty close to her. At least she'd know he wasn't putting space between them because of what she did or could do. Because hell space didn't make a difference in what she could do. "Nothing to be sorry about. That was a mutual moment right?"

Even at the touch on the shoulder she flinched but she did turn to face him but she didn't look up at him just yet. There was nothing to be sorry about; there was everything to be sorry about. She couldn't just let herself go or she might kill someone like she almost did him. She had to stay together and she couldn't leave from here in this state. Thinking on those things she swallowed and lifted her head and opened her eyes to look at him.. "A mutual moment. Right. Of course it was. An experiment worth trying." She was pulling together. She may look together, but that was a facade. "Goodbye Tobias. Thank you." that mask wavered a bit at the end. There was a mix of emotions in her eyes and so she looked from him.

"It was worth trying. I'm glad you tried it." He was glad she was looking at him too. It wouldn't have felt right if she left here without looking at him. He probably would have gone after her if she'd done that. "Your welcome De’Ryanna." He reached out and touched her. Even though she'd just flinched when he touched her shoulder he touched again anyway. This time was the back of her head. Same hand that'd touched her shoulder. A light squeeze. A stroke down her hair before he stepped behind her some. Giving her a clear path to the door if she was sure she wanted to leave.

There was the initial flinch before it went. There may always be a flinch simply because of how she wasn't use to touch, or the touches she had always had consequences. Now there was another reason for her to leave for that odd feeling was there again and it came with that different type of touch he gave her. Only this feeling wasn't accompanied with that adrenaline. He moved and she looked at him again, her eyes lingering on his for a few seconds as she turned the knob. Door opened she stepped forward and slipped out. She needed something cold. Maybe a tub of ice water.

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